#125 - Don't Be A Bitch

February 2, 2022

There are many different ways to use the English word 'bitch'. In this episode, we're gonna talk about one that applies to all of us.

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Tony Kaizen: [00:00:00] What's up, everybody? You are listening to another episode of Life in English. I'm your host, Tony Kaizen. And I've got one simple message for you today. And that message is, don't be a bitch.

[00:00:17] The Life in English podcast is designed to teach you the real American English that you won't learn in school. And it's made possible by our VIP community. By becoming a VIP member of the Life and English community, you'll get access to our Private Conversation Group, bonus podcast episodes, interactive transcripts, and vocabulary, and grammar guides. If you'd like to join the community, you can visit lifeinenglish.net/vip.

[00:00:42] There are many ways to use the English word bitch. It can be used to describe a man, a woman, a child, a dog, an inanimate object. Just depends on the context. I'm going to play a clip that I saw online the other day in which this guy, Wes Watson, is going to define the word bitch. It's one of my favorite ways to use the word, by the way.

[00:01:07] And as always, we're not going to waste any time here. I'm going to play the clip, explain a few things to you, and then we'll get out of here. All right? So let me go ahead and play this clip. All right, here we go.

Interviewer: [00:01:20] What's a bitch mean? What does that qualify someone to make that?

Wes Watson: [00:01:23] Just a bitch, like someone who's just putting themselves through something they don't want. A set of circumstances that they don't want and then fucking crying about it, bitching about it.

Interviewer: [00:01:32] Their actions aren't congruent with their desires or mission.

Wes Watson: [00:01:35] Their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire. Their daily habits are out of whack, and then they're wondering why it's happening to them. They're acting like it's happening to them. It's like, you're fucking doing it.

Tony Kaizen: [00:01:45] All right. Now, like I always say, if it was difficult for you to follow that little dialogue or understand every word or phrase that was said, don't worry about it. You know, there's things that were said that, one, were grammatically incorrect or just words or phrases that you wouldn't learn in school. So naturally, you wouldn't understand everything all the time. All right? So I just always like to repeat that fact, which is there's no reason to feel bad about that. All right?

[00:02:13] So now I'm about to explain everything that was said from start to finish so that you can understand everything all the time. All right? So let's do it. We're going to listen to the clip again, piece by piece. And if you're watching this on YouTube, you can see I've highlighted certain things in certain colors. Because sometimes I'm going to talk about grammar, other times about vocabulary, other times about culture and sometimes about pronunciation. So you can see the different colors just so it's easier to follow along.

[00:02:40] But anyway, we're going to play the clip again, piece by piece. I'm going to explain things that were said, different ways of saying the same thing, explain some vocabulary, and things like that. And like I said, then we'll get out of here.

[00:02:53] All right, so let's do it. Let me go all the way back to the beginning of the clip. And let's listen to it line by line. Here we go.

Interviewer: [00:03:04] What's a bitch mean? What does qualify someone to make that?

Tony Kaizen: [00:03:08] All right, so the interviewer, I don't know his name, but he asked two questions. Really the same question, but he asked it twice. So first he said, "What's a bitch mean?" Now, although we can understand the question, obviously the person being interviewed understood the question and responded. But "what's a bitch mean?" is a grammatically incorrect way of forming a question.

[00:03:29] So you have two options. You can say," What is a bitch?" or "What does bitch mean?". All right? Let me repeat that. What is a bitch? All right? What's the definition? What is a bitch? How would you define it? Or what does bitch mean? So what is this thing or what does this thing mean? What is this word or what does this word mean? You wouldn't say, "what's this thing mean?" "What's a bitch mean?". Grammatically, it's incorrect, and it sounds weird. You know what I mean? We can understand it, but it just sounds weird, at least to me.

[00:04:02] So then he says, "What does that qualify someone to make that?". Now, this sentence makes absolutely no sense. I shouldn't say that because we can understand what he's asking based on the context. But the sentence itself, "what does that qualify someone to make that?". I don't know what the fuck that actually means. Like, I know what it means because of the context, and he's again, he's asking the question a different way. Because he starts by saying, "What is a bitch?" or "What does bitch mean?".

[00:04:32] And with the second sentence, what I believe he was trying to say is, you know, what qualifies someone as a bitch or what makes someone a bitch. That's what I believe he was trying to ask, but I'm really not 100% sure because the question is formed in such a strange way. It's almost like he wanted to ask the question in two different ways, and they both came out at the same time in the same sentence. You know what I mean?

[00:04:55] So if you got confused when you heard that, don't feel bad because this is my first language and I was like, "What the fuck is this? What the fuck does that mean? What is he trying to say?". You know? So anyway, now you should understand. He just asked the same question two different ways, and both ways were kind of like, grammatically incorrect, and they sound strange.

[00:05:14] So you can say "What is a bitch?" "What does bitch mean?" "What qualifies someone as a bitch?" or "How does someone be qualified as a bitch?" or "What makes someone a bitch?". You see what I'm saying? Those are ways that you can ask that question. So let's go to the next line and hear Wes's response.

Wes Watson: [00:05:37] Just a bitch, like someone who's just putting themselves through something they don't want.

Tony Kaizen: [00:05:42] Okay, so the interviewer asked, "What's a bitch? What does that mean?". And Wes responds, saying, "Just a bitch, like someone who is putting themselves through something they don't want". So the first thing I want to bring to your attention is the word 'like'. Because the word like is a verb, right? I like pizza, I like video games, etc. But in this case, we use 'like' almost as a way... it's like a filler word. As you see, I just used the word like. So in this case, he says, "Just a bitch, like" And you'll notice a lot of Americans, we say 'like' a lot when we're trying to think of what we're going to say next. You know? "I don't know, like, it was just cool like this, like big, like green, like car". You know what I'm saying?

[00:06:23] So I'm saying “like” a bunch of times just filling the spaces in between my words because I'm still trying to figure out exactly which words I want to use. I'm trying to figure out exactly what I want to say. So I say the word 'like' kind of to fill those empty spaces while I'm thinking. You see what I'm saying? So he says, "just a bitch, like someone who is just putting themselves through something that they don't want".

[00:06:46] So the next thing I want to explain is "putting themselves through something that they don't want". So the phrase is "to put someone through something", in this case, "to put oneself through something". And all that means is to make or to cause someone to experience something. So if I'm putting myself through a situation, I am causing myself to experience this particular situation. If I'm putting you through a difficult experience or if I'm putting you through something difficult, I'm making you experience something difficult because to go through something means to experience something. So if I put you through something, I'm just making you go through something.

[00:07:24] Hopefully that makes sense. Because to do it alone, I'm going through this situation. But if somebody else is making me or causing me to go through the situation, they are putting me through the situation. Hopefully, you can understand the difference between me saying "I'm going through" and "someone else is putting me through". The same thing is happening, it's just two different people are causing it to happen when we use those two different words. I hope that makes sense. Now let's continue next line.

Wes Watson: [00:07:54] A set of circumstances that they don't want and then fucking crying about it, bitching about it.

Tony Kaizen: [00:07:59] Okay, so just a bitch, someone who's putting themselves through something that they don't want, a set of circumstances that they don't want. Now, I just wanted to explain really quickly "a set of", he said, "a set of circumstances". This really just means a group of circumstances or a number of circumstances, just multiple circumstances. You see what I'm saying? A set of is a slightly more formal way of saying the same thing.

[00:08:27] And then he says, "then after putting themselves through something that they don't want, they fucking cry about it". He said, "fucking crying about it". You see what I'm saying? And in that case, the word 'fucking' it's like, used to put emphasis on something, typically a verb. I don't know if it's always a verb, but many times it's a verb. So he's saying, "and then they're fucking crying about it" so he's putting emphasis and showing that he's a little bit frustrated by the fact that they're crying about it. See? They put themselves through the situation and then they fucking cry about it. You know, you can tell by the way he speaks and by him saying, "fucking crying" he's a little irritated. You see what I'm saying?

[00:09:04] And then he says, "bitching about it", which is kind of the same thing. You see? Because to cry about something literally means to, you know, shed tears because you're sad or frustrated or whatever about this situation. And then to bitch about something is a little more specific because you might cry because there's a genuine reason to cry. But if you're crying like a little baby, if you're bitching about something, it means you acting like a bitch, like a weak individual. You see what I'm saying?

[00:09:31] You're crying about something that you could actually change or control. But instead of doing that and putting in the effort and the work, you just decide to cry like a child who is helpless. You know? Like a bitch. And that kind of gives you a better idea of what 'bitch' means or another way to use the word bitch. Because a lot of times we use the word bitch to just describe a weak individual, a coward. You know what I'm saying? Somebody who prefers to cry and wait for somebody to come save them, as opposed to somebody who's going to make change or make something happen.

[00:10:05] I don't know if that makes any sense, I've never I don't think I've ever explained that before. But hopefully you can get the idea. To be bitching means to be acting like a bitch. And in this context, to act like a bitch is just like this whiny, little weak individual who's crying like a baby, acting like a child instead of an adult that can take care of themselves. You see?

[00:10:24] So they're putting themselves through this difficult situation. Then they fucking cry and bitch about it like a victim, like a bitch. You see what I'm saying? All right, let's go to the next line.

Interviewer: [00:10:39] Their actions aren't congruent with their desires or mission.

Wes Watson: [00:10:42] Their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire.

Tony Kaizen: [00:10:46] All right. So I played two lines, the interviewer and Wes Watson for a good reason. First, the interview says, "their actions aren't congruent with their desires or mission". It's the first thing. The second line, he says, or Wes says, "their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire". So if you pay attention, they said the same exact thing just in a different way. One was a little more formal, one was a little less formal.

[00:11:09] So let me explain. Sentence number one, their actions are not congruent. So if we look for 'congruent', the actual definition. Congruent... I'm searching this on BING, just in case you can't see what I'm doing and you're only listening. So the definition of congruent, in agreement or harmony. Right? So their actions are not in agreement or in harmony with their desires or mission. That's what the interviewer said.

[00:11:35] Then Wes says, "their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire". So let's define "in line with". In line with, in alignment or accordance with. Basically, the same thing as in order or in harmony with. You see what I'm saying?

[00:11:58] So they both said the same thing. Their actions aren't congruent with their desires or mission, which means their actions are not in line with or in agreement with or in harmony with their desires or their mission. Their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire, which means the things they do every day are not congruent with the future they desire. It's not in harmony with. You see what I'm saying?

[00:12:19] So to be congruent with or to be in line with is the same exact thing. "To be in line with" is just more informal, it's more natural. "Congruent" is a more advanced word, it's a little more formal. It's not something that I think you would hear every day in the street or just talking, you know, in regular conversation. But ‘in line with’ to me, is much more natural. It's a more informal option. All right? So let's get to this last line.

Wes Watson: [00:12:48] Their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire, their daily habits are out of whack, and then...

Tony Kaizen: [00:12:54] Their daily habits are out of whack, out of whack. To be out of whack is like, to be disorganized or not orderly or something like that. Let me actually do a quick search just to confirm that. Out of whack. "Out of whack" means out of order or not working. So if we go back to the phrase "their daily habits are out of whack". That just means their daily habits are out of order, disorganized. There's no structure. You see what I'm saying? There's no routine. There's no goal that we're trying to achieve or anything like that.

[00:13:33] So if something is out of whack it just means dysfunctional, out of order, not working, no structure, or anything like that. Okay? Out of whack, out of control. So let's go to the next line.

Wes Watson: [00:13:48] ...whack and then they're wondering why it's happening to them. They're acting like it's happening to them.

Tony Kaizen: [00:13:51] All right. So he says "their daily habits are out of whack and then they're wondering why it's happening to him. They act like it's happening to them". So when he says, "they're wondering why it's happening to them", the word 'wondering' is like, asking yourself a question because you're curious about something. If you wonder, it means that you want to know more about something. Right? So they're asking themselves or they're curious to know, why is this happening to me? That's what he's saying.

[00:14:19] Then he follows that sentence by saying, "they act like it's happening to them". So if you're not, if you're not paying attention, maybe you would think he said the same thing twice, which he kind of did, but when he said it the second time, he put emphasis on the word "to". You see?

[00:14:35] So let me say it again. Their daily habits are out of whack, and then they're wondering why it's happening to them. They act like it's happening to them. So when I put emphasis on the word "to" in the second sentence, I'm putting emphasis on the fact that they believe that this is something that's out of their control and it's just happening to them. They're just receiving the action.

[00:14:54] Then the next sentence, which I'll play in just a second. He says, "it's like, you're fucking doing it". Okay, so hopefully you're still following me. I'm going to play the last three sentences and then hopefully you understand what I'm trying to say.

Wes Watson: [00:15:10] And then they're wondering why it's happening to them. They're acting like it's happening to them. It's like, you're fucking doing it.

Tony Kaizen: [00:15:16] Okay. So let me try again to explain the main idea here. He's saying, "their daily habits are out of whack, out of control, disorganized, and then they wonder why this thing is happening to them. They act like it's happening to him, but it's like, you're fucking doing it". Okay, so they wonder why it's happening to them. That's number one. Then they act like it's happening to them, like something is being done to them by some external force. But no, you're fucking doing it. You're making it happen. It's really what he's saying.

[00:15:46] So let me go back and explain that last sentence because he says "it's like, you're fucking doing it". And in this case, he's not saying "it's as if you're fucking doing it", because that is one translation or synonym for like, it can also be "as if". But in this case, he said, "it's like you're fucking doing it". When we say "it's like", it's kind of like a little phrase that we use to start our sentences when we're expressing what we would say to the person to which we are referring.

[00:16:18] I know that might not make a lot of sense after hearing myself explain it. But let me give you an example. You know, a lot of people think if they just eat healthy, then they'll lose all that weight. But it's like, no, you have to also go to the gym.

[00:16:35] It's probably not the best example, but if you were paying attention, you heard me say "it's like, no, you have to go to the gym as well". And when I say it's like whatever comes after, is what I would say to the person that believes that all they have to do is eat better food. It's like, no, you have to do this, this and this. So it's just like a way of speaking that we have when I say it's like, and then I state my opinion or my idea it's as if I'm speaking directly to the person who has the opposing idea.

[00:17:06] If you pay attention, this is kind of like an advanced thing. It's very hard to explain. I've never tried to explain this before. But if you pay attention to a lot of English speakers, not just Americans, but just English speakers in general, you might notice that they have that way of speaking, you know. But for the sake of this episode and this topic, I'll leave it at that. If you have any questions or doubts, always send me a message or leave it in the comments.

[00:17:29] All right, let's continue. He says, "it's like, you're fucking doing it". So again, the word 'fucking' before the word 'doing', just putting emphasis on the fact that you are fucking doing it. It's not somebody else. It's not something else. It's you, you're fucking doing it. And when I say it that way, I'm communicating that I'm irritated, I'm frustrated with you because you're fucking doing it. You know? Hopefully that makes sense. It's just a way of putting emphasis on whatever it is we're saying. A lot of times it's a verb, but not always. Okay? So you're fucking doing it.

[00:18:00] And if you notice the way he pronounced "fucking doing it", he didn't say it the way I just said it. Because he took the G off of both words 'fucking' and 'doing'. And he said, "fuckin' doin'". The G is not pronounced in either one of those words and that allowed him to connect the words 'doing' and 'it' at the end of his sentence. He said, "you're fuckin' doin' it". He didn't say "you're fucking doing it". He said, "you're fuckin'doin'it!" because there's no G between doing and it, he can connect them. You're fucking doing it. You're fucking doing it. You see what I'm saying?

[00:18:35] So let me play the clip one more time from start to finish. And hopefully, it's much more clear what's going on here. And hopefully, you'll be able to follow along and understand a lot better. All right? Let's find out.

Interviewer: [00:18:49] What's a bitch mean? What does that qualify someone to make that?

Wes Watson: [00:18:52] Just a bitch, like someone who's just putting themselves through something they don't want. A set of circumstances that they don't want and then fucking crying about it, bitching about it.

Interviewer: [00:19:01] Their actions aren't congruent with their desires or mission.

Wes Watson: [00:19:04] Their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire. Their daily habits are out of whack, and then they're wondering why it's happening to them. They're acting like it's happening to them. It's like, you're fucking doing it.

Tony Kaizen: [00:19:15] So hopefully I didn't lose you at any point during that episode, during the clip itself or the explanations, you know, because I tried to do my best and make sure that everything was clear. But there are certain things that you know, just never stopped to consider, and they're very difficult to explain. So if you still have doubts or questions, as always, shoot me a message or leave me a comment, do whatever you got to do to get in contact with me, and I'll do my best to help you understand.

[00:19:38] But let me summarize the main idea of this very short, very simple clip. The idea is that there are so many people out there who are just complaining and bitching and crying about their circumstances, about their situation, about their life, their personality, their eating habits, their weight, their appearance, whatever it is. So many things that are actually under their control. And even still, they prefer to act like it's totally out of their control. You see what I'm saying?

[00:20:06] In Wes Watson's words and also, in my opinion, that's the definition of a bitch. It's just somebody who prefers to like, cry and complain as opposed to taking action and making something happen, making change. You know?

[00:20:19] And I don't know about you, but I just don't think it's a good idea to live your life like a bitch. You know, I'm sure we all have at some point I certainly have. And it just takes that level of self-awareness or sometimes a friend to put his arm around your shoulder and be like, "Listen, man, listen. You acting like a bitch right now". You know what I'm saying?

[00:20:37] And maybe the definition of 'bitch' still isn't clear to you because there's many definitions, like I said. So really a bitch is not only somebody who, you know, cries about things instead of making a change, it's also just somebody who acts in a cowardly way. We're describing like, a weak individual. You see what I'm saying? Somebody who acts like a helpless child or baby or something like that, as opposed to an adult that can take care of themselves. You know?

[00:21:03] So sometimes you just need that little wake-up call like, "Yo, you're being a bitch right now. Like, wake the fuck up". You know? Sometimes that's all you need. And maybe this episode was that for you.

[00:21:11] So I guess, other than getting you to understand the language in this episode of this audio clip, the last thing I'd like to leave you with is just encouragement to stop and like, take a moment, reflect on yourself and ask yourself like, what am I doing to cause unnecessary suffering in my life? What am I doing to cause unnecessary problems in my life? And how could I make those changes? You know? What am I always crying about or bitching about that I actually could change so that I don't have to cry or bitch about it anymore?

[00:21:41] You know, because sometimes people don't stop and ask themselves that. They really live their life thinking everything's just happening to them. And they really don't think or believe or even stop to wonder if the things that they do then create the reality they experience.

[00:21:53] You know what I'm saying? So if this is the first time you're hearing an idea like this, I'm happy I could be the one to share with you, you know. But ideas are worthless unless you apply them in a practical situation. So take the time to think about it, man. For Real. Really important. I would say like, at least once a month sit down and ask yourself, like, where am I going? What am I doing? Who am I becoming? You know? And is that in line with who I want to be, where I want to be, what I want to be doing? Right?

[00:22:21] Sounds super simple, but man time feels like it's moving faster than ever. Like we're more, you know, occupied. We're busier than ever. Distracted more than ever. It's very easy to let weeks or months or even years pass without picking your head up and being like, what the fuck am I and where am I going? You know?

[00:22:39] So anyway, at the end of it all, I hope you enjoyed the episode. I hope you learned something, got something to consider and think about. And I hope sincerely, deeply from the bottom of my heart that you wake up and you choose not to be a bitch. All right?

[00:22:56] This is Life in English. I'm your host, Tony Kaizen. And I will talk to you very soon. Take care of yourself. Peace!

[END OF EPISODE]

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Tony Kaizen: [00:00:00] What's up, everybody? You are listening to another episode of Life in English. I'm your host, Tony Kaizen. And I've got one simple message for you today. And that message is, don't be a bitch.

[00:00:17] The Life in English podcast is designed to teach you the real American English that you won't learn in school. And it's made possible by our VIP community. By becoming a VIP member of the Life and English community, you'll get access to our Private Conversation Group, bonus podcast episodes, interactive transcripts, and vocabulary, and grammar guides. If you'd like to join the community, you can visit lifeinenglish.net/vip.

[00:00:42] There are many ways to use the English word bitch. It can be used to describe a man, a woman, a child, a dog, an inanimate object. Just depends on the context. I'm going to play a clip that I saw online the other day in which this guy, Wes Watson, is going to define the word bitch. It's one of my favorite ways to use the word, by the way.

[00:01:07] And as always, we're not going to waste any time here. I'm going to play the clip, explain a few things to you, and then we'll get out of here. All right? So let me go ahead and play this clip. All right, here we go.

Interviewer: [00:01:20] What's a bitch mean? What does that qualify someone to make that?

Wes Watson: [00:01:23] Just a bitch, like someone who's just putting themselves through something they don't want. A set of circumstances that they don't want and then fucking crying about it, bitching about it.

Interviewer: [00:01:32] Their actions aren't congruent with their desires or mission.

Wes Watson: [00:01:35] Their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire. Their daily habits are out of whack, and then they're wondering why it's happening to them. They're acting like it's happening to them. It's like, you're fucking doing it.

Tony Kaizen: [00:01:45] All right. Now, like I always say, if it was difficult for you to follow that little dialogue or understand every word or phrase that was said, don't worry about it. You know, there's things that were said that, one, were grammatically incorrect or just words or phrases that you wouldn't learn in school. So naturally, you wouldn't understand everything all the time. All right? So I just always like to repeat that fact, which is there's no reason to feel bad about that. All right?

[00:02:13] So now I'm about to explain everything that was said from start to finish so that you can understand everything all the time. All right? So let's do it. We're going to listen to the clip again, piece by piece. And if you're watching this on YouTube, you can see I've highlighted certain things in certain colors. Because sometimes I'm going to talk about grammar, other times about vocabulary, other times about culture and sometimes about pronunciation. So you can see the different colors just so it's easier to follow along.

[00:02:40] But anyway, we're going to play the clip again, piece by piece. I'm going to explain things that were said, different ways of saying the same thing, explain some vocabulary, and things like that. And like I said, then we'll get out of here.

[00:02:53] All right, so let's do it. Let me go all the way back to the beginning of the clip. And let's listen to it line by line. Here we go.

Interviewer: [00:03:04] What's a bitch mean? What does qualify someone to make that?

Tony Kaizen: [00:03:08] All right, so the interviewer, I don't know his name, but he asked two questions. Really the same question, but he asked it twice. So first he said, "What's a bitch mean?" Now, although we can understand the question, obviously the person being interviewed understood the question and responded. But "what's a bitch mean?" is a grammatically incorrect way of forming a question.

[00:03:29] So you have two options. You can say," What is a bitch?" or "What does bitch mean?". All right? Let me repeat that. What is a bitch? All right? What's the definition? What is a bitch? How would you define it? Or what does bitch mean? So what is this thing or what does this thing mean? What is this word or what does this word mean? You wouldn't say, "what's this thing mean?" "What's a bitch mean?". Grammatically, it's incorrect, and it sounds weird. You know what I mean? We can understand it, but it just sounds weird, at least to me.

[00:04:02] So then he says, "What does that qualify someone to make that?". Now, this sentence makes absolutely no sense. I shouldn't say that because we can understand what he's asking based on the context. But the sentence itself, "what does that qualify someone to make that?". I don't know what the fuck that actually means. Like, I know what it means because of the context, and he's again, he's asking the question a different way. Because he starts by saying, "What is a bitch?" or "What does bitch mean?".

[00:04:32] And with the second sentence, what I believe he was trying to say is, you know, what qualifies someone as a bitch or what makes someone a bitch. That's what I believe he was trying to ask, but I'm really not 100% sure because the question is formed in such a strange way. It's almost like he wanted to ask the question in two different ways, and they both came out at the same time in the same sentence. You know what I mean?

[00:04:55] So if you got confused when you heard that, don't feel bad because this is my first language and I was like, "What the fuck is this? What the fuck does that mean? What is he trying to say?". You know? So anyway, now you should understand. He just asked the same question two different ways, and both ways were kind of like, grammatically incorrect, and they sound strange.

[00:05:14] So you can say "What is a bitch?" "What does bitch mean?" "What qualifies someone as a bitch?" or "How does someone be qualified as a bitch?" or "What makes someone a bitch?". You see what I'm saying? Those are ways that you can ask that question. So let's go to the next line and hear Wes's response.

Wes Watson: [00:05:37] Just a bitch, like someone who's just putting themselves through something they don't want.

Tony Kaizen: [00:05:42] Okay, so the interviewer asked, "What's a bitch? What does that mean?". And Wes responds, saying, "Just a bitch, like someone who is putting themselves through something they don't want". So the first thing I want to bring to your attention is the word 'like'. Because the word like is a verb, right? I like pizza, I like video games, etc. But in this case, we use 'like' almost as a way... it's like a filler word. As you see, I just used the word like. So in this case, he says, "Just a bitch, like" And you'll notice a lot of Americans, we say 'like' a lot when we're trying to think of what we're going to say next. You know? "I don't know, like, it was just cool like this, like big, like green, like car". You know what I'm saying?

[00:06:23] So I'm saying “like” a bunch of times just filling the spaces in between my words because I'm still trying to figure out exactly which words I want to use. I'm trying to figure out exactly what I want to say. So I say the word 'like' kind of to fill those empty spaces while I'm thinking. You see what I'm saying? So he says, "just a bitch, like someone who is just putting themselves through something that they don't want".

[00:06:46] So the next thing I want to explain is "putting themselves through something that they don't want". So the phrase is "to put someone through something", in this case, "to put oneself through something". And all that means is to make or to cause someone to experience something. So if I'm putting myself through a situation, I am causing myself to experience this particular situation. If I'm putting you through a difficult experience or if I'm putting you through something difficult, I'm making you experience something difficult because to go through something means to experience something. So if I put you through something, I'm just making you go through something.

[00:07:24] Hopefully that makes sense. Because to do it alone, I'm going through this situation. But if somebody else is making me or causing me to go through the situation, they are putting me through the situation. Hopefully, you can understand the difference between me saying "I'm going through" and "someone else is putting me through". The same thing is happening, it's just two different people are causing it to happen when we use those two different words. I hope that makes sense. Now let's continue next line.

Wes Watson: [00:07:54] A set of circumstances that they don't want and then fucking crying about it, bitching about it.

Tony Kaizen: [00:07:59] Okay, so just a bitch, someone who's putting themselves through something that they don't want, a set of circumstances that they don't want. Now, I just wanted to explain really quickly "a set of", he said, "a set of circumstances". This really just means a group of circumstances or a number of circumstances, just multiple circumstances. You see what I'm saying? A set of is a slightly more formal way of saying the same thing.

[00:08:27] And then he says, "then after putting themselves through something that they don't want, they fucking cry about it". He said, "fucking crying about it". You see what I'm saying? And in that case, the word 'fucking' it's like, used to put emphasis on something, typically a verb. I don't know if it's always a verb, but many times it's a verb. So he's saying, "and then they're fucking crying about it" so he's putting emphasis and showing that he's a little bit frustrated by the fact that they're crying about it. See? They put themselves through the situation and then they fucking cry about it. You know, you can tell by the way he speaks and by him saying, "fucking crying" he's a little irritated. You see what I'm saying?

[00:09:04] And then he says, "bitching about it", which is kind of the same thing. You see? Because to cry about something literally means to, you know, shed tears because you're sad or frustrated or whatever about this situation. And then to bitch about something is a little more specific because you might cry because there's a genuine reason to cry. But if you're crying like a little baby, if you're bitching about something, it means you acting like a bitch, like a weak individual. You see what I'm saying?

[00:09:31] You're crying about something that you could actually change or control. But instead of doing that and putting in the effort and the work, you just decide to cry like a child who is helpless. You know? Like a bitch. And that kind of gives you a better idea of what 'bitch' means or another way to use the word bitch. Because a lot of times we use the word bitch to just describe a weak individual, a coward. You know what I'm saying? Somebody who prefers to cry and wait for somebody to come save them, as opposed to somebody who's going to make change or make something happen.

[00:10:05] I don't know if that makes any sense, I've never I don't think I've ever explained that before. But hopefully you can get the idea. To be bitching means to be acting like a bitch. And in this context, to act like a bitch is just like this whiny, little weak individual who's crying like a baby, acting like a child instead of an adult that can take care of themselves. You see?

[00:10:24] So they're putting themselves through this difficult situation. Then they fucking cry and bitch about it like a victim, like a bitch. You see what I'm saying? All right, let's go to the next line.

Interviewer: [00:10:39] Their actions aren't congruent with their desires or mission.

Wes Watson: [00:10:42] Their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire.

Tony Kaizen: [00:10:46] All right. So I played two lines, the interviewer and Wes Watson for a good reason. First, the interview says, "their actions aren't congruent with their desires or mission". It's the first thing. The second line, he says, or Wes says, "their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire". So if you pay attention, they said the same exact thing just in a different way. One was a little more formal, one was a little less formal.

[00:11:09] So let me explain. Sentence number one, their actions are not congruent. So if we look for 'congruent', the actual definition. Congruent... I'm searching this on BING, just in case you can't see what I'm doing and you're only listening. So the definition of congruent, in agreement or harmony. Right? So their actions are not in agreement or in harmony with their desires or mission. That's what the interviewer said.

[00:11:35] Then Wes says, "their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire". So let's define "in line with". In line with, in alignment or accordance with. Basically, the same thing as in order or in harmony with. You see what I'm saying?

[00:11:58] So they both said the same thing. Their actions aren't congruent with their desires or mission, which means their actions are not in line with or in agreement with or in harmony with their desires or their mission. Their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire, which means the things they do every day are not congruent with the future they desire. It's not in harmony with. You see what I'm saying?

[00:12:19] So to be congruent with or to be in line with is the same exact thing. "To be in line with" is just more informal, it's more natural. "Congruent" is a more advanced word, it's a little more formal. It's not something that I think you would hear every day in the street or just talking, you know, in regular conversation. But ‘in line with’ to me, is much more natural. It's a more informal option. All right? So let's get to this last line.

Wes Watson: [00:12:48] Their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire, their daily habits are out of whack, and then...

Tony Kaizen: [00:12:54] Their daily habits are out of whack, out of whack. To be out of whack is like, to be disorganized or not orderly or something like that. Let me actually do a quick search just to confirm that. Out of whack. "Out of whack" means out of order or not working. So if we go back to the phrase "their daily habits are out of whack". That just means their daily habits are out of order, disorganized. There's no structure. You see what I'm saying? There's no routine. There's no goal that we're trying to achieve or anything like that.

[00:13:33] So if something is out of whack it just means dysfunctional, out of order, not working, no structure, or anything like that. Okay? Out of whack, out of control. So let's go to the next line.

Wes Watson: [00:13:48] ...whack and then they're wondering why it's happening to them. They're acting like it's happening to them.

Tony Kaizen: [00:13:51] All right. So he says "their daily habits are out of whack and then they're wondering why it's happening to him. They act like it's happening to them". So when he says, "they're wondering why it's happening to them", the word 'wondering' is like, asking yourself a question because you're curious about something. If you wonder, it means that you want to know more about something. Right? So they're asking themselves or they're curious to know, why is this happening to me? That's what he's saying.

[00:14:19] Then he follows that sentence by saying, "they act like it's happening to them". So if you're not, if you're not paying attention, maybe you would think he said the same thing twice, which he kind of did, but when he said it the second time, he put emphasis on the word "to". You see?

[00:14:35] So let me say it again. Their daily habits are out of whack, and then they're wondering why it's happening to them. They act like it's happening to them. So when I put emphasis on the word "to" in the second sentence, I'm putting emphasis on the fact that they believe that this is something that's out of their control and it's just happening to them. They're just receiving the action.

[00:14:54] Then the next sentence, which I'll play in just a second. He says, "it's like, you're fucking doing it". Okay, so hopefully you're still following me. I'm going to play the last three sentences and then hopefully you understand what I'm trying to say.

Wes Watson: [00:15:10] And then they're wondering why it's happening to them. They're acting like it's happening to them. It's like, you're fucking doing it.

Tony Kaizen: [00:15:16] Okay. So let me try again to explain the main idea here. He's saying, "their daily habits are out of whack, out of control, disorganized, and then they wonder why this thing is happening to them. They act like it's happening to him, but it's like, you're fucking doing it". Okay, so they wonder why it's happening to them. That's number one. Then they act like it's happening to them, like something is being done to them by some external force. But no, you're fucking doing it. You're making it happen. It's really what he's saying.

[00:15:46] So let me go back and explain that last sentence because he says "it's like, you're fucking doing it". And in this case, he's not saying "it's as if you're fucking doing it", because that is one translation or synonym for like, it can also be "as if". But in this case, he said, "it's like you're fucking doing it". When we say "it's like", it's kind of like a little phrase that we use to start our sentences when we're expressing what we would say to the person to which we are referring.

[00:16:18] I know that might not make a lot of sense after hearing myself explain it. But let me give you an example. You know, a lot of people think if they just eat healthy, then they'll lose all that weight. But it's like, no, you have to also go to the gym.

[00:16:35] It's probably not the best example, but if you were paying attention, you heard me say "it's like, no, you have to go to the gym as well". And when I say it's like whatever comes after, is what I would say to the person that believes that all they have to do is eat better food. It's like, no, you have to do this, this and this. So it's just like a way of speaking that we have when I say it's like, and then I state my opinion or my idea it's as if I'm speaking directly to the person who has the opposing idea.

[00:17:06] If you pay attention, this is kind of like an advanced thing. It's very hard to explain. I've never tried to explain this before. But if you pay attention to a lot of English speakers, not just Americans, but just English speakers in general, you might notice that they have that way of speaking, you know. But for the sake of this episode and this topic, I'll leave it at that. If you have any questions or doubts, always send me a message or leave it in the comments.

[00:17:29] All right, let's continue. He says, "it's like, you're fucking doing it". So again, the word 'fucking' before the word 'doing', just putting emphasis on the fact that you are fucking doing it. It's not somebody else. It's not something else. It's you, you're fucking doing it. And when I say it that way, I'm communicating that I'm irritated, I'm frustrated with you because you're fucking doing it. You know? Hopefully that makes sense. It's just a way of putting emphasis on whatever it is we're saying. A lot of times it's a verb, but not always. Okay? So you're fucking doing it.

[00:18:00] And if you notice the way he pronounced "fucking doing it", he didn't say it the way I just said it. Because he took the G off of both words 'fucking' and 'doing'. And he said, "fuckin' doin'". The G is not pronounced in either one of those words and that allowed him to connect the words 'doing' and 'it' at the end of his sentence. He said, "you're fuckin' doin' it". He didn't say "you're fucking doing it". He said, "you're fuckin'doin'it!" because there's no G between doing and it, he can connect them. You're fucking doing it. You're fucking doing it. You see what I'm saying?

[00:18:35] So let me play the clip one more time from start to finish. And hopefully, it's much more clear what's going on here. And hopefully, you'll be able to follow along and understand a lot better. All right? Let's find out.

Interviewer: [00:18:49] What's a bitch mean? What does that qualify someone to make that?

Wes Watson: [00:18:52] Just a bitch, like someone who's just putting themselves through something they don't want. A set of circumstances that they don't want and then fucking crying about it, bitching about it.

Interviewer: [00:19:01] Their actions aren't congruent with their desires or mission.

Wes Watson: [00:19:04] Their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire. Their daily habits are out of whack, and then they're wondering why it's happening to them. They're acting like it's happening to them. It's like, you're fucking doing it.

Tony Kaizen: [00:19:15] So hopefully I didn't lose you at any point during that episode, during the clip itself or the explanations, you know, because I tried to do my best and make sure that everything was clear. But there are certain things that you know, just never stopped to consider, and they're very difficult to explain. So if you still have doubts or questions, as always, shoot me a message or leave me a comment, do whatever you got to do to get in contact with me, and I'll do my best to help you understand.

[00:19:38] But let me summarize the main idea of this very short, very simple clip. The idea is that there are so many people out there who are just complaining and bitching and crying about their circumstances, about their situation, about their life, their personality, their eating habits, their weight, their appearance, whatever it is. So many things that are actually under their control. And even still, they prefer to act like it's totally out of their control. You see what I'm saying?

[00:20:06] In Wes Watson's words and also, in my opinion, that's the definition of a bitch. It's just somebody who prefers to like, cry and complain as opposed to taking action and making something happen, making change. You know?

[00:20:19] And I don't know about you, but I just don't think it's a good idea to live your life like a bitch. You know, I'm sure we all have at some point I certainly have. And it just takes that level of self-awareness or sometimes a friend to put his arm around your shoulder and be like, "Listen, man, listen. You acting like a bitch right now". You know what I'm saying?

[00:20:37] And maybe the definition of 'bitch' still isn't clear to you because there's many definitions, like I said. So really a bitch is not only somebody who, you know, cries about things instead of making a change, it's also just somebody who acts in a cowardly way. We're describing like, a weak individual. You see what I'm saying? Somebody who acts like a helpless child or baby or something like that, as opposed to an adult that can take care of themselves. You know?

[00:21:03] So sometimes you just need that little wake-up call like, "Yo, you're being a bitch right now. Like, wake the fuck up". You know? Sometimes that's all you need. And maybe this episode was that for you.

[00:21:11] So I guess, other than getting you to understand the language in this episode of this audio clip, the last thing I'd like to leave you with is just encouragement to stop and like, take a moment, reflect on yourself and ask yourself like, what am I doing to cause unnecessary suffering in my life? What am I doing to cause unnecessary problems in my life? And how could I make those changes? You know? What am I always crying about or bitching about that I actually could change so that I don't have to cry or bitch about it anymore?

[00:21:41] You know, because sometimes people don't stop and ask themselves that. They really live their life thinking everything's just happening to them. And they really don't think or believe or even stop to wonder if the things that they do then create the reality they experience.

[00:21:53] You know what I'm saying? So if this is the first time you're hearing an idea like this, I'm happy I could be the one to share with you, you know. But ideas are worthless unless you apply them in a practical situation. So take the time to think about it, man. For Real. Really important. I would say like, at least once a month sit down and ask yourself, like, where am I going? What am I doing? Who am I becoming? You know? And is that in line with who I want to be, where I want to be, what I want to be doing? Right?

[00:22:21] Sounds super simple, but man time feels like it's moving faster than ever. Like we're more, you know, occupied. We're busier than ever. Distracted more than ever. It's very easy to let weeks or months or even years pass without picking your head up and being like, what the fuck am I and where am I going? You know?

[00:22:39] So anyway, at the end of it all, I hope you enjoyed the episode. I hope you learned something, got something to consider and think about. And I hope sincerely, deeply from the bottom of my heart that you wake up and you choose not to be a bitch. All right?

[00:22:56] This is Life in English. I'm your host, Tony Kaizen. And I will talk to you very soon. Take care of yourself. Peace!

[END OF EPISODE]

Writing prompts

  • What's your definition of a coward?
  • What's your main source of strength?
  • Do you prefer direct or indirect communication? Why?
Key Vocabulary & Grammar Guide
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Key Vocabulary Guide

Transcript

Tony Kaizen: [00:00:00] What's up, everybody? You are listening to another episode of Life in English. I'm your host, Tony Kaizen. And I've got one simple message for you today. And that message is, don't be a bitch.

[00:00:17] The Life in English podcast is designed to teach you the real American English that you won't learn in school. And it's made possible by our VIP community. By becoming a VIP member of the Life and English community, you'll get access to our Private Conversation Group, bonus podcast episodes, interactive transcripts, and vocabulary, and grammar guides. If you'd like to join the community, you can visit lifeinenglish.net/vip.

[00:00:42] There are many ways to use the English word bitch. It can be used to describe a man, a woman, a child, a dog, an inanimate object. Just depends on the context. I'm going to play a clip that I saw online the other day in which this guy, Wes Watson, is going to define the word bitch. It's one of my favorite ways to use the word, by the way.

[00:01:07] And as always, we're not going to waste any time here. I'm going to play the clip, explain a few things to you, and then we'll get out of here. All right? So let me go ahead and play this clip. All right, here we go.

Interviewer: [00:01:20] What's a bitch mean? What does that qualify someone to make that?

Wes Watson: [00:01:23] Just a bitch, like someone who's just putting themselves through something they don't want. A set of circumstances that they don't want and then fucking crying about it, bitching about it.

Interviewer: [00:01:32] Their actions aren't congruent with their desires or mission.

Wes Watson: [00:01:35] Their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire. Their daily habits are out of whack, and then they're wondering why it's happening to them. They're acting like it's happening to them. It's like, you're fucking doing it.

Tony Kaizen: [00:01:45] All right. Now, like I always say, if it was difficult for you to follow that little dialogue or understand every word or phrase that was said, don't worry about it. You know, there's things that were said that, one, were grammatically incorrect or just words or phrases that you wouldn't learn in school. So naturally, you wouldn't understand everything all the time. All right? So I just always like to repeat that fact, which is there's no reason to feel bad about that. All right?

[00:02:13] So now I'm about to explain everything that was said from start to finish so that you can understand everything all the time. All right? So let's do it. We're going to listen to the clip again, piece by piece. And if you're watching this on YouTube, you can see I've highlighted certain things in certain colors. Because sometimes I'm going to talk about grammar, other times about vocabulary, other times about culture and sometimes about pronunciation. So you can see the different colors just so it's easier to follow along.

[00:02:40] But anyway, we're going to play the clip again, piece by piece. I'm going to explain things that were said, different ways of saying the same thing, explain some vocabulary, and things like that. And like I said, then we'll get out of here.

[00:02:53] All right, so let's do it. Let me go all the way back to the beginning of the clip. And let's listen to it line by line. Here we go.

Interviewer: [00:03:04] What's a bitch mean? What does qualify someone to make that?

Tony Kaizen: [00:03:08] All right, so the interviewer, I don't know his name, but he asked two questions. Really the same question, but he asked it twice. So first he said, "What's a bitch mean?" Now, although we can understand the question, obviously the person being interviewed understood the question and responded. But "what's a bitch mean?" is a grammatically incorrect way of forming a question.

[00:03:29] So you have two options. You can say," What is a bitch?" or "What does bitch mean?". All right? Let me repeat that. What is a bitch? All right? What's the definition? What is a bitch? How would you define it? Or what does bitch mean? So what is this thing or what does this thing mean? What is this word or what does this word mean? You wouldn't say, "what's this thing mean?" "What's a bitch mean?". Grammatically, it's incorrect, and it sounds weird. You know what I mean? We can understand it, but it just sounds weird, at least to me.

[00:04:02] So then he says, "What does that qualify someone to make that?". Now, this sentence makes absolutely no sense. I shouldn't say that because we can understand what he's asking based on the context. But the sentence itself, "what does that qualify someone to make that?". I don't know what the fuck that actually means. Like, I know what it means because of the context, and he's again, he's asking the question a different way. Because he starts by saying, "What is a bitch?" or "What does bitch mean?".

[00:04:32] And with the second sentence, what I believe he was trying to say is, you know, what qualifies someone as a bitch or what makes someone a bitch. That's what I believe he was trying to ask, but I'm really not 100% sure because the question is formed in such a strange way. It's almost like he wanted to ask the question in two different ways, and they both came out at the same time in the same sentence. You know what I mean?

[00:04:55] So if you got confused when you heard that, don't feel bad because this is my first language and I was like, "What the fuck is this? What the fuck does that mean? What is he trying to say?". You know? So anyway, now you should understand. He just asked the same question two different ways, and both ways were kind of like, grammatically incorrect, and they sound strange.

[00:05:14] So you can say "What is a bitch?" "What does bitch mean?" "What qualifies someone as a bitch?" or "How does someone be qualified as a bitch?" or "What makes someone a bitch?". You see what I'm saying? Those are ways that you can ask that question. So let's go to the next line and hear Wes's response.

Wes Watson: [00:05:37] Just a bitch, like someone who's just putting themselves through something they don't want.

Tony Kaizen: [00:05:42] Okay, so the interviewer asked, "What's a bitch? What does that mean?". And Wes responds, saying, "Just a bitch, like someone who is putting themselves through something they don't want". So the first thing I want to bring to your attention is the word 'like'. Because the word like is a verb, right? I like pizza, I like video games, etc. But in this case, we use 'like' almost as a way... it's like a filler word. As you see, I just used the word like. So in this case, he says, "Just a bitch, like" And you'll notice a lot of Americans, we say 'like' a lot when we're trying to think of what we're going to say next. You know? "I don't know, like, it was just cool like this, like big, like green, like car". You know what I'm saying?

[00:06:23] So I'm saying “like” a bunch of times just filling the spaces in between my words because I'm still trying to figure out exactly which words I want to use. I'm trying to figure out exactly what I want to say. So I say the word 'like' kind of to fill those empty spaces while I'm thinking. You see what I'm saying? So he says, "just a bitch, like someone who is just putting themselves through something that they don't want".

[00:06:46] So the next thing I want to explain is "putting themselves through something that they don't want". So the phrase is "to put someone through something", in this case, "to put oneself through something". And all that means is to make or to cause someone to experience something. So if I'm putting myself through a situation, I am causing myself to experience this particular situation. If I'm putting you through a difficult experience or if I'm putting you through something difficult, I'm making you experience something difficult because to go through something means to experience something. So if I put you through something, I'm just making you go through something.

[00:07:24] Hopefully that makes sense. Because to do it alone, I'm going through this situation. But if somebody else is making me or causing me to go through the situation, they are putting me through the situation. Hopefully, you can understand the difference between me saying "I'm going through" and "someone else is putting me through". The same thing is happening, it's just two different people are causing it to happen when we use those two different words. I hope that makes sense. Now let's continue next line.

Wes Watson: [00:07:54] A set of circumstances that they don't want and then fucking crying about it, bitching about it.

Tony Kaizen: [00:07:59] Okay, so just a bitch, someone who's putting themselves through something that they don't want, a set of circumstances that they don't want. Now, I just wanted to explain really quickly "a set of", he said, "a set of circumstances". This really just means a group of circumstances or a number of circumstances, just multiple circumstances. You see what I'm saying? A set of is a slightly more formal way of saying the same thing.

[00:08:27] And then he says, "then after putting themselves through something that they don't want, they fucking cry about it". He said, "fucking crying about it". You see what I'm saying? And in that case, the word 'fucking' it's like, used to put emphasis on something, typically a verb. I don't know if it's always a verb, but many times it's a verb. So he's saying, "and then they're fucking crying about it" so he's putting emphasis and showing that he's a little bit frustrated by the fact that they're crying about it. See? They put themselves through the situation and then they fucking cry about it. You know, you can tell by the way he speaks and by him saying, "fucking crying" he's a little irritated. You see what I'm saying?

[00:09:04] And then he says, "bitching about it", which is kind of the same thing. You see? Because to cry about something literally means to, you know, shed tears because you're sad or frustrated or whatever about this situation. And then to bitch about something is a little more specific because you might cry because there's a genuine reason to cry. But if you're crying like a little baby, if you're bitching about something, it means you acting like a bitch, like a weak individual. You see what I'm saying?

[00:09:31] You're crying about something that you could actually change or control. But instead of doing that and putting in the effort and the work, you just decide to cry like a child who is helpless. You know? Like a bitch. And that kind of gives you a better idea of what 'bitch' means or another way to use the word bitch. Because a lot of times we use the word bitch to just describe a weak individual, a coward. You know what I'm saying? Somebody who prefers to cry and wait for somebody to come save them, as opposed to somebody who's going to make change or make something happen.

[00:10:05] I don't know if that makes any sense, I've never I don't think I've ever explained that before. But hopefully you can get the idea. To be bitching means to be acting like a bitch. And in this context, to act like a bitch is just like this whiny, little weak individual who's crying like a baby, acting like a child instead of an adult that can take care of themselves. You see?

[00:10:24] So they're putting themselves through this difficult situation. Then they fucking cry and bitch about it like a victim, like a bitch. You see what I'm saying? All right, let's go to the next line.

Interviewer: [00:10:39] Their actions aren't congruent with their desires or mission.

Wes Watson: [00:10:42] Their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire.

Tony Kaizen: [00:10:46] All right. So I played two lines, the interviewer and Wes Watson for a good reason. First, the interview says, "their actions aren't congruent with their desires or mission". It's the first thing. The second line, he says, or Wes says, "their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire". So if you pay attention, they said the same exact thing just in a different way. One was a little more formal, one was a little less formal.

[00:11:09] So let me explain. Sentence number one, their actions are not congruent. So if we look for 'congruent', the actual definition. Congruent... I'm searching this on BING, just in case you can't see what I'm doing and you're only listening. So the definition of congruent, in agreement or harmony. Right? So their actions are not in agreement or in harmony with their desires or mission. That's what the interviewer said.

[00:11:35] Then Wes says, "their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire". So let's define "in line with". In line with, in alignment or accordance with. Basically, the same thing as in order or in harmony with. You see what I'm saying?

[00:11:58] So they both said the same thing. Their actions aren't congruent with their desires or mission, which means their actions are not in line with or in agreement with or in harmony with their desires or their mission. Their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire, which means the things they do every day are not congruent with the future they desire. It's not in harmony with. You see what I'm saying?

[00:12:19] So to be congruent with or to be in line with is the same exact thing. "To be in line with" is just more informal, it's more natural. "Congruent" is a more advanced word, it's a little more formal. It's not something that I think you would hear every day in the street or just talking, you know, in regular conversation. But ‘in line with’ to me, is much more natural. It's a more informal option. All right? So let's get to this last line.

Wes Watson: [00:12:48] Their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire, their daily habits are out of whack, and then...

Tony Kaizen: [00:12:54] Their daily habits are out of whack, out of whack. To be out of whack is like, to be disorganized or not orderly or something like that. Let me actually do a quick search just to confirm that. Out of whack. "Out of whack" means out of order or not working. So if we go back to the phrase "their daily habits are out of whack". That just means their daily habits are out of order, disorganized. There's no structure. You see what I'm saying? There's no routine. There's no goal that we're trying to achieve or anything like that.

[00:13:33] So if something is out of whack it just means dysfunctional, out of order, not working, no structure, or anything like that. Okay? Out of whack, out of control. So let's go to the next line.

Wes Watson: [00:13:48] ...whack and then they're wondering why it's happening to them. They're acting like it's happening to them.

Tony Kaizen: [00:13:51] All right. So he says "their daily habits are out of whack and then they're wondering why it's happening to him. They act like it's happening to them". So when he says, "they're wondering why it's happening to them", the word 'wondering' is like, asking yourself a question because you're curious about something. If you wonder, it means that you want to know more about something. Right? So they're asking themselves or they're curious to know, why is this happening to me? That's what he's saying.

[00:14:19] Then he follows that sentence by saying, "they act like it's happening to them". So if you're not, if you're not paying attention, maybe you would think he said the same thing twice, which he kind of did, but when he said it the second time, he put emphasis on the word "to". You see?

[00:14:35] So let me say it again. Their daily habits are out of whack, and then they're wondering why it's happening to them. They act like it's happening to them. So when I put emphasis on the word "to" in the second sentence, I'm putting emphasis on the fact that they believe that this is something that's out of their control and it's just happening to them. They're just receiving the action.

[00:14:54] Then the next sentence, which I'll play in just a second. He says, "it's like, you're fucking doing it". Okay, so hopefully you're still following me. I'm going to play the last three sentences and then hopefully you understand what I'm trying to say.

Wes Watson: [00:15:10] And then they're wondering why it's happening to them. They're acting like it's happening to them. It's like, you're fucking doing it.

Tony Kaizen: [00:15:16] Okay. So let me try again to explain the main idea here. He's saying, "their daily habits are out of whack, out of control, disorganized, and then they wonder why this thing is happening to them. They act like it's happening to him, but it's like, you're fucking doing it". Okay, so they wonder why it's happening to them. That's number one. Then they act like it's happening to them, like something is being done to them by some external force. But no, you're fucking doing it. You're making it happen. It's really what he's saying.

[00:15:46] So let me go back and explain that last sentence because he says "it's like, you're fucking doing it". And in this case, he's not saying "it's as if you're fucking doing it", because that is one translation or synonym for like, it can also be "as if". But in this case, he said, "it's like you're fucking doing it". When we say "it's like", it's kind of like a little phrase that we use to start our sentences when we're expressing what we would say to the person to which we are referring.

[00:16:18] I know that might not make a lot of sense after hearing myself explain it. But let me give you an example. You know, a lot of people think if they just eat healthy, then they'll lose all that weight. But it's like, no, you have to also go to the gym.

[00:16:35] It's probably not the best example, but if you were paying attention, you heard me say "it's like, no, you have to go to the gym as well". And when I say it's like whatever comes after, is what I would say to the person that believes that all they have to do is eat better food. It's like, no, you have to do this, this and this. So it's just like a way of speaking that we have when I say it's like, and then I state my opinion or my idea it's as if I'm speaking directly to the person who has the opposing idea.

[00:17:06] If you pay attention, this is kind of like an advanced thing. It's very hard to explain. I've never tried to explain this before. But if you pay attention to a lot of English speakers, not just Americans, but just English speakers in general, you might notice that they have that way of speaking, you know. But for the sake of this episode and this topic, I'll leave it at that. If you have any questions or doubts, always send me a message or leave it in the comments.

[00:17:29] All right, let's continue. He says, "it's like, you're fucking doing it". So again, the word 'fucking' before the word 'doing', just putting emphasis on the fact that you are fucking doing it. It's not somebody else. It's not something else. It's you, you're fucking doing it. And when I say it that way, I'm communicating that I'm irritated, I'm frustrated with you because you're fucking doing it. You know? Hopefully that makes sense. It's just a way of putting emphasis on whatever it is we're saying. A lot of times it's a verb, but not always. Okay? So you're fucking doing it.

[00:18:00] And if you notice the way he pronounced "fucking doing it", he didn't say it the way I just said it. Because he took the G off of both words 'fucking' and 'doing'. And he said, "fuckin' doin'". The G is not pronounced in either one of those words and that allowed him to connect the words 'doing' and 'it' at the end of his sentence. He said, "you're fuckin' doin' it". He didn't say "you're fucking doing it". He said, "you're fuckin'doin'it!" because there's no G between doing and it, he can connect them. You're fucking doing it. You're fucking doing it. You see what I'm saying?

[00:18:35] So let me play the clip one more time from start to finish. And hopefully, it's much more clear what's going on here. And hopefully, you'll be able to follow along and understand a lot better. All right? Let's find out.

Interviewer: [00:18:49] What's a bitch mean? What does that qualify someone to make that?

Wes Watson: [00:18:52] Just a bitch, like someone who's just putting themselves through something they don't want. A set of circumstances that they don't want and then fucking crying about it, bitching about it.

Interviewer: [00:19:01] Their actions aren't congruent with their desires or mission.

Wes Watson: [00:19:04] Their daily habits are not in line with the future they desire. Their daily habits are out of whack, and then they're wondering why it's happening to them. They're acting like it's happening to them. It's like, you're fucking doing it.

Tony Kaizen: [00:19:15] So hopefully I didn't lose you at any point during that episode, during the clip itself or the explanations, you know, because I tried to do my best and make sure that everything was clear. But there are certain things that you know, just never stopped to consider, and they're very difficult to explain. So if you still have doubts or questions, as always, shoot me a message or leave me a comment, do whatever you got to do to get in contact with me, and I'll do my best to help you understand.

[00:19:38] But let me summarize the main idea of this very short, very simple clip. The idea is that there are so many people out there who are just complaining and bitching and crying about their circumstances, about their situation, about their life, their personality, their eating habits, their weight, their appearance, whatever it is. So many things that are actually under their control. And even still, they prefer to act like it's totally out of their control. You see what I'm saying?

[00:20:06] In Wes Watson's words and also, in my opinion, that's the definition of a bitch. It's just somebody who prefers to like, cry and complain as opposed to taking action and making something happen, making change. You know?

[00:20:19] And I don't know about you, but I just don't think it's a good idea to live your life like a bitch. You know, I'm sure we all have at some point I certainly have. And it just takes that level of self-awareness or sometimes a friend to put his arm around your shoulder and be like, "Listen, man, listen. You acting like a bitch right now". You know what I'm saying?

[00:20:37] And maybe the definition of 'bitch' still isn't clear to you because there's many definitions, like I said. So really a bitch is not only somebody who, you know, cries about things instead of making a change, it's also just somebody who acts in a cowardly way. We're describing like, a weak individual. You see what I'm saying? Somebody who acts like a helpless child or baby or something like that, as opposed to an adult that can take care of themselves. You know?

[00:21:03] So sometimes you just need that little wake-up call like, "Yo, you're being a bitch right now. Like, wake the fuck up". You know? Sometimes that's all you need. And maybe this episode was that for you.

[00:21:11] So I guess, other than getting you to understand the language in this episode of this audio clip, the last thing I'd like to leave you with is just encouragement to stop and like, take a moment, reflect on yourself and ask yourself like, what am I doing to cause unnecessary suffering in my life? What am I doing to cause unnecessary problems in my life? And how could I make those changes? You know? What am I always crying about or bitching about that I actually could change so that I don't have to cry or bitch about it anymore?

[00:21:41] You know, because sometimes people don't stop and ask themselves that. They really live their life thinking everything's just happening to them. And they really don't think or believe or even stop to wonder if the things that they do then create the reality they experience.

[00:21:53] You know what I'm saying? So if this is the first time you're hearing an idea like this, I'm happy I could be the one to share with you, you know. But ideas are worthless unless you apply them in a practical situation. So take the time to think about it, man. For Real. Really important. I would say like, at least once a month sit down and ask yourself, like, where am I going? What am I doing? Who am I becoming? You know? And is that in line with who I want to be, where I want to be, what I want to be doing? Right?

[00:22:21] Sounds super simple, but man time feels like it's moving faster than ever. Like we're more, you know, occupied. We're busier than ever. Distracted more than ever. It's very easy to let weeks or months or even years pass without picking your head up and being like, what the fuck am I and where am I going? You know?

[00:22:39] So anyway, at the end of it all, I hope you enjoyed the episode. I hope you learned something, got something to consider and think about. And I hope sincerely, deeply from the bottom of my heart that you wake up and you choose not to be a bitch. All right?

[00:22:56] This is Life in English. I'm your host, Tony Kaizen. And I will talk to you very soon. Take care of yourself. Peace!

[END OF EPISODE]

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