CK #21 - We All Have 4 Wives

September 10, 2021

Here's a thought-provoking story about life.

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[00:00:00] We all have four wives.

[00:00:04] What's up, my friend? This is Coffee with Kaizen number 21. And in this episode, I'm going to be sharing a story with you. I saw this interesting clip on TikTok the other day of this man telling a story about four wives. Now, unfortunately, I couldn't find the name of this man, or I don't know where this clip actually came from or anything like that. 

[00:00:26] All I was able to do was find the clip on YouTube so I could play it for you. So I will put the link to this video in the show notes for this episode and in a description on YouTube. But unfortunately, I can't really tell you much more about this story or this man, because I couldn't find any more information. But at least I can share the story with you because it's pretty interesting and thought-provoking. All right? 

[00:00:48] I'm going to play the clip or the story for you. Then after that, I'll just explain a little bit of useful vocabulary and that'll be it for this episode. Now, like I always say, hopefully, it's a short one. But it seems like whenever I say that, the episode's like 20 or 30 minutes. All right. But we're going to see how this goes, and hopefully, you enjoy the story. All right. So let's not waste any more time. Let me play this story for you. Here we go.

[00:01:14] Once upon a time, there was a king with four wives. One day, the king got sick and was on his deathbed. Afraid of being in the afterlife alone, he asked his fourth wife, which he loved the most, and bought her diamonds and gold and elegant clothing, he asked her, “Would you die with me and go with me to the afterlife?” The fourth wife replied, “I'm sorry, I can't do that.” and walked away

[00:01:44] He also loved his third wife and was very proud and would always show her off to neighboring kingdoms. So he called on his third wife and asked, “Would you accompany me to the afterlife?” The third wife replied, “I love my life too much. And I'm sorry, I cannot go with you. And when you die, I'm going to remarry.”

[00:02:07] The second wife has always been there for him in his times of need. So he asked, “Would you accompany me to the afterlife?” The second wife then replied, “I'm sorry that I can't help you out this time, but what I can do is arrange your funeral and I will be there for your funeral.”

[00:02:28] A voice called out and said, “I'll leave with you and follow you wherever you go, even if it is to the afterlife.” And it was his first wife, but this was the wife that he took care of the least. He felt embarrassed and said, “I'm sorry, I should have taken more care of you and given you more attention when I was alive.” 

[00:02:51] The moral of this story is that we all have four wives. Our fourth wife is our body. We like to decorate it with nice jewelry, nice clothing, but in the end, it can't follow us to the afterlife. 

[00:03:10] The third wife represents our possessions. We spend so much time trying to gather possessions, but in the end they cannot follow us to the afterlife. They will be given to other people and divided just like the third wife said, she's going to remarry.

[00:03:26] The second wife, our friends and family. We trust them. They're always there for us in times of need, but the furthest they can go with us is to our funeral and send us off

[00:03:40] Our first wife, the first wife represents our soul. We usually neglect taking care of our soul. That is the thing that will follow us to the afterlife. 

[00:03:55] Care for your body. Keep it healthy. Enjoy your possessions and the comfort they provide. Cherish your friends and family for the love that they provide. But don't forget to take care of your soul, nourish your soul. Take time to be alone, take time to pray, take time to meditate. Because it is the source of all of your life and your most faithful friend. I hope this story can help you or somebody that you love.

[00:04:30] All right, y'all, that is a story about the king and the four wives. Now, hopefully, you found it interesting or a little entertaining or hopefully, thought-provoking, but all I'm going to do now is go through and talk about some of the useful vocabulary that this man used during his story to hopefully help you understand the entire story and learn some things that you can use in your everyday conversations. All right? Let's get started. 

[00:04:53] The first one, the very first line of the story, 'once upon a time', this just means at some time in the past, and it's a very common, conventional way to start a story about the past. Not so much when you're telling stories, like, to your friends and things like that, but you'll hear a lot of times in fairy tales or, um, fiction movies and things like that... all movies are fiction, I guess, but you get the point. Like, more fantasy type stories, 'once upon a time in a foreign land' or something like that. It just means at some point in time, that's it. Now, we don't really speak that way in our daily conversations, but hopefully you get the point. All right. 

[00:05:33] So the next one is 'got sick', which is the past tense of 'get sick' and to get sick just means to become sick or to become ill. Now, the reason I taught, you probably know that, but the reason I put that on the list is because this word get everybody's favorite verb because it means 20 different things. One of the most common meanings and uses for this word ‘get’ is basically just a change in state.

[00:05:59] It could be a change in mental state or a change in physical state, a change in emotion or something like that. For example, to get sick, to become sick, to get mad, to become mad, to get hungry, to get taller, to get interested, whatever it is. You go from not being this thing to being this thing. So, just, essentially it means to become something, to change your state of mind, emotion, physical being or something like that. All right? 

[00:06:27] All right. Cool. So next on the list is deathbed. Now, you probably can understand this just by hearing the words deathbed, but whenever we say deathbed, it just refers to, it's not always literally a bed, but most of the time it's the place where a person is laying right before they die. So a lot of times it's the hospital, but you'll hear in many conversations about death or older people talking about their life or us talking about how you don't want to be on your deathbed with all this regret, which means you don't want to be in the last moments of your life, right before you die, thinking about all the things you regret. Okay? 

[00:07:03] All right. Next is the afterlife. Another one of those terms that you probably understand just by hearing it, but the afterlife literally refers to life after death, your existence after death. 

[00:07:16] The next word on the list is elegant, elegant, right? Elegant E L E G A N T elegant. And it just means pleasingly graceful and stylish in appearance.

[00:07:28] The next word on the list is replied. R E P L I E D. It's the past tense of reply, R E P L Y. And reply just means to say something in response to something that someone else has said. The reason I put that on the list is because there's more than one word to express this action. You can say reply, you can say respond, or you can say answer. Okay? I would say answer is probably the least formal, the most common, and then reply is a little more formal, respond is about the same level of formality as reply. And in this context, they all mean the same thing to, to say something in response to something that someone else has said. All right? 

[00:08:09] All right. Next is walk away. Now, there is a very literal meaning of walk away which literally just mean to use your feet to move away from someone or something, you're walking away. But in this context, it means to casually or irresponsibly withdraw from a situation in which one is involved or for which one is responsible. Now, that is a lot of words and it sounds very formal. So basically to walk away from something just means to decide that you are no longer going to care about or be responsible for one of your responsibilities. All right. 

[00:08:44] So you might walk away from your children, which means you basically abandoned them. You don't care about that responsibility anymore. You walk away from your husband. You decide we're done, you're no longer my responsibility, I don't care about you anymore, I'm going to do my own thing. You have walked away from this person, not physically or literally, but more like figuratively. Hopefully you can understand that. 

[00:09:04] So the next word on the list is proud. P R O U D proud, which is just a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction as a result of one's own achievements, qualities, or possessions, or those of someone with whom one is closely associated. Again, that's a lot of words. So when you think of proud, you can think of this deep sense of satisfaction for something that you have achieved, or a quality that you possess. Now, word that's very closely related is pride. So we feel proud. That's the adjective. I feel proud of something. Now pride is the feeling of being proud. Hopefully, that makes sense. Okay. So proud is the feeling or a proud is what you are, and pride is that feeling of being proud. I really hope that makes sense. 

[00:09:51] All right. Next on the list is show her off. The king would like to show off his second or third wife. I can't remember. So to show off just means to, to really, to show someone off means to display someone or something that is a source of pride. A source of pride is something that makes you feel proud, right? So to show off your wife needs to take her around to all the, I don't know, the clubs, the bars, everywhere you go. You want everybody to see your beautiful, amazing wife, because you feel a sense of pride. You're proud that this woman is your wife. Okay. 

[00:10:24] Next, neighboring kingdoms. The word here is neighboring. That's the word I want to explain. Neighboring just means next to, or very near another place or adjacent. Now, we use this word neighboring when we're talking not about just anything, like, I wouldn't say, uh, the TV is neighboring my desk or the light is neighboring the phone or anything like that. Normally, we're talking about, um, cities or communities. The neighboring city, the neighboring kingdom, the neighboring community means the community city or area next to my community, city or area. Okay. 

[00:11:02] All right. Next is accompany, accompany. Accompany someone just means to go somewhere with someone as a companion or an escort. So would you accompany me to the store? It's a very formal way of saying, would you go with me to the store. To accompany someone just needs to go with someone. Okay. So let me repeat. It's a more formal way of saying to go with someone to someplace. All right. 

[00:11:26] Next is remarry. Now you probably understand this, but just in case you don't to remarry simply means to get married again. So I married my first wife, we get divorced or she dies and then I get married again, which means I have remarried.

[00:11:41] Next word on the list is to be there for someone. To be there for him or her or them or me, to be there for someone just means to be available, to provide support or comfort for someone. And this is a very common expression, let's say. You know I.. Can you be there for me? Or I was always there for her, which means I always showed her support. I always gave her comfort. I was always by her side. That's another way of saying it. I'm right by your side. I'm there for you. Or you can say I'm here for you. I don't want to confuse you because, you know... When we say, I'm here for you, most of the time, we're actually there with the person, present in the same place. Like, I'm right in front of you, and I can say, I'm here for you. 

[00:12:22] Now, if you're talking about the future, I'll say I will be there for you because here is right now. There, since we're not there right now, it's most likely in the past or the future. I really hope that makes sense. It makes sense in my head when I explained it. So let somebody, let me know. To me a message or leave a comment. Let me know if that makes sense. 

[00:12:42] All right, next on the list is to help someone out. Help you out, help me out, help them out. It's all the same. And it just means to give ones services or resources to make it easier for someone to do something. So you might be thinking, what's the difference between help and help out? There's really no distinct difference in my mind. I would just say the only difference I can think of at the moment is maybe help out is, like, when you're helping someone out of a difficult situation. That, I think, is a more common way to use, help out.

[00:13:16] If you're doing, if you're going through something difficult and you need help to get out of the situation, then I would help you out. Imagine if you're stuck in a hole and you can't get out of the hole by yourself, I help you out of the hole. And again, it's help and help out are essentially the same thing. But that's the one small distinction that I can make between those two. All right? Cool. 

[00:13:39] Now, next on the list is arrange, arrange someone's funeral. To arrange a funeral just means to organize or make plans for a future event. And the future event in this case is the funeral. So we can arrange a party. We can arrange a meeting, arrange a funeral. Now, this word arrange when we use it in this way is a more formal way of saying organize or plan. So we can organize a funeral. We can arrange a funeral. We can organize or plan a party, or we can arrange a party. Just a more formal way of saying it. 

[00:14:10] So, the next word or next phrase on the list is call out. He said a voice called out. Now, there's more than one meaning for this word, so I'll explain the two most common. In this context, to call out, if a voice calls out, it just means to summon someone to deal with an emergency or provide a service. So maybe that doesn't make much sense. So let me try and explain it a different way.

[00:14:34] Call and call out are similar. But when we hear call out in this context, it's most likely because the voice came from within, came from inside us or some hidden place that we can't see, and the voice came out of that hidden place and we heard it. Hopefully, that makes sense. 

[00:14:51] Now, the same phrasal verb call out in a different context means to draw critical attention to someone's unacceptable actions or behavior. For example, let's imagine we're walking down the street and we see some guy literally pissing in the street, urinating in the street in front of everybody. Most people will probably just walk by and say, man, that dude is crazy, but you are like, nah, fuck that. That's unacceptable. So you walk over and you call him out for what he's doing. You basically, in front of everybody, out loud to his face... you might yell at him or reprimand him or basically scold him or say, you're doing, what you're doing is wrong. That's unacceptable. You're calling him out on his unacceptable behavior. Okay. 

[00:15:34] All right. Next on the list is embarrassed, embarrassed as means feeling self-conscious or ashamed or awkward. You probably know that, but just in case you don't, now you know what embarrassed means. 

[00:15:46] And next is the moral of the story. And the word I want to explain here is moral. There's more than one meaning, but when we say the moral of the story, the moral of the story is basically the lesson that can be taken away from the story. A lot of times it's referring to what is right or wrong, but that's not always the case. You can just understand that the moral is the lesson or the idea that you should take away, that you should understand after hearing the story. That's the moral of the story. 

[00:16:13] All right. The next word on the list is. N E G L E C T neglect. And to neglect something just means to fail, to care properly for something. So if you neglect your kids, you're not taking care of them like you should. You're not feeding them like you should or giving them the love and attention and time that they need. Right? So you're neglecting them. If you neglect your car, eventually it's going to break down. It's going to stop working because you have to change the oil, put air in the tires, you have to wash it and things like that. So it just means to avoid or to fail to take care of something properly. 

[00:16:47] The next word on the list is to nourish N O U R I S H nourish. And that means to provide with the food or other substances necessary for growth, for your health, or for good condition. So again, we can use the example of your children. You need to nourish them. You need to give them the food that they need so that they can grow, the water that they need so they can survive. Right? You need to give them the love, and affection, and attention. That's also a form of nourishment, right? You're feeding them the things that they need to grow the same way that you would feed a plant or something like that. Right? 

[00:17:22] All right. Two more words. We're almost done. Last one is not last one. The second to last one is pray P R A Y, which is different from P R E Y. So don't get confused. They sound exactly the same, they're homophones, but this word P R A Y means to address a solemn request or expression of thanks to a deity or a God or some other object of worship. So hearing myself read that definition it's... you know, maybe not the easiest thing to understand, and you probably know what pray means, you know, but just in case, pray, you can think of it as the moment where you sit down and you talk to.. You can, some people call it different things. It could be God, it could be some other deity of worship, some object of worship, the universe, whatever it is, but you're having a conversation with a higher power. Whatever it is that you believe in, you're praying. Okay? 

[00:18:18] Now, last word on the list, which you probably know is meditate. M E D I T A T E meditate. And it just means to think deeply or focus one's mind for a period of time in silence or with the aid of chanting for religious or spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation. So that's that time when you just sit in a quiet room by yourself. And some people will choose to focus on their breathing. Some people choose to focus on certain thoughts. Everybody meditates in their own way, but it's just that moment when you sit down and you basically do nothing. There's many reasons for doing that. Everybody meditates in different ways for different reasons, but you get the point, right? When you sit down and you deeply focus on just one thing or nothing, you know, you get the point. Right? 

[00:19:07] All right. So let's just summarize this episode. Four wives, number one or number four, excuse me. Number four. The body. Take care of your body because it's the only one that you have. You have to nourish it, take care of it, give it what it needs to maintain itself healthy. 

[00:19:24] Number three, possessions. Enjoy your possessions. They can be great sources of joy during your time here on earth, right? 

[00:19:33] Wife number two, your friends and your family. Appreciate your friends and family, because they are the only ones that you can trust and rely on when things get difficult. 

[00:19:42] And wife number one, your soul. Nourish your soul. It's the only thing that you will take with you to the afterlife.

[00:19:52] All right, my friend, that is Coffee with Kaizen number 21 in the books. So I will talk to you later. 

[00:19:59] Peace.

[END OF PODCAST]

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[00:00:00] We all have four wives.

[00:00:04] What's up, my friend? This is Coffee with Kaizen number 21. And in this episode, I'm going to be sharing a story with you. I saw this interesting clip on TikTok the other day of this man telling a story about four wives. Now, unfortunately, I couldn't find the name of this man, or I don't know where this clip actually came from or anything like that. 

[00:00:26] All I was able to do was find the clip on YouTube so I could play it for you. So I will put the link to this video in the show notes for this episode and in a description on YouTube. But unfortunately, I can't really tell you much more about this story or this man, because I couldn't find any more information. But at least I can share the story with you because it's pretty interesting and thought-provoking. All right? 

[00:00:48] I'm going to play the clip or the story for you. Then after that, I'll just explain a little bit of useful vocabulary and that'll be it for this episode. Now, like I always say, hopefully, it's a short one. But it seems like whenever I say that, the episode's like 20 or 30 minutes. All right. But we're going to see how this goes, and hopefully, you enjoy the story. All right. So let's not waste any more time. Let me play this story for you. Here we go.

[00:01:14] Once upon a time, there was a king with four wives. One day, the king got sick and was on his deathbed. Afraid of being in the afterlife alone, he asked his fourth wife, which he loved the most, and bought her diamonds and gold and elegant clothing, he asked her, “Would you die with me and go with me to the afterlife?” The fourth wife replied, “I'm sorry, I can't do that.” and walked away

[00:01:44] He also loved his third wife and was very proud and would always show her off to neighboring kingdoms. So he called on his third wife and asked, “Would you accompany me to the afterlife?” The third wife replied, “I love my life too much. And I'm sorry, I cannot go with you. And when you die, I'm going to remarry.”

[00:02:07] The second wife has always been there for him in his times of need. So he asked, “Would you accompany me to the afterlife?” The second wife then replied, “I'm sorry that I can't help you out this time, but what I can do is arrange your funeral and I will be there for your funeral.”

[00:02:28] A voice called out and said, “I'll leave with you and follow you wherever you go, even if it is to the afterlife.” And it was his first wife, but this was the wife that he took care of the least. He felt embarrassed and said, “I'm sorry, I should have taken more care of you and given you more attention when I was alive.” 

[00:02:51] The moral of this story is that we all have four wives. Our fourth wife is our body. We like to decorate it with nice jewelry, nice clothing, but in the end, it can't follow us to the afterlife. 

[00:03:10] The third wife represents our possessions. We spend so much time trying to gather possessions, but in the end they cannot follow us to the afterlife. They will be given to other people and divided just like the third wife said, she's going to remarry.

[00:03:26] The second wife, our friends and family. We trust them. They're always there for us in times of need, but the furthest they can go with us is to our funeral and send us off

[00:03:40] Our first wife, the first wife represents our soul. We usually neglect taking care of our soul. That is the thing that will follow us to the afterlife. 

[00:03:55] Care for your body. Keep it healthy. Enjoy your possessions and the comfort they provide. Cherish your friends and family for the love that they provide. But don't forget to take care of your soul, nourish your soul. Take time to be alone, take time to pray, take time to meditate. Because it is the source of all of your life and your most faithful friend. I hope this story can help you or somebody that you love.

[00:04:30] All right, y'all, that is a story about the king and the four wives. Now, hopefully, you found it interesting or a little entertaining or hopefully, thought-provoking, but all I'm going to do now is go through and talk about some of the useful vocabulary that this man used during his story to hopefully help you understand the entire story and learn some things that you can use in your everyday conversations. All right? Let's get started. 

[00:04:53] The first one, the very first line of the story, 'once upon a time', this just means at some time in the past, and it's a very common, conventional way to start a story about the past. Not so much when you're telling stories, like, to your friends and things like that, but you'll hear a lot of times in fairy tales or, um, fiction movies and things like that... all movies are fiction, I guess, but you get the point. Like, more fantasy type stories, 'once upon a time in a foreign land' or something like that. It just means at some point in time, that's it. Now, we don't really speak that way in our daily conversations, but hopefully you get the point. All right. 

[00:05:33] So the next one is 'got sick', which is the past tense of 'get sick' and to get sick just means to become sick or to become ill. Now, the reason I taught, you probably know that, but the reason I put that on the list is because this word get everybody's favorite verb because it means 20 different things. One of the most common meanings and uses for this word ‘get’ is basically just a change in state.

[00:05:59] It could be a change in mental state or a change in physical state, a change in emotion or something like that. For example, to get sick, to become sick, to get mad, to become mad, to get hungry, to get taller, to get interested, whatever it is. You go from not being this thing to being this thing. So, just, essentially it means to become something, to change your state of mind, emotion, physical being or something like that. All right? 

[00:06:27] All right. Cool. So next on the list is deathbed. Now, you probably can understand this just by hearing the words deathbed, but whenever we say deathbed, it just refers to, it's not always literally a bed, but most of the time it's the place where a person is laying right before they die. So a lot of times it's the hospital, but you'll hear in many conversations about death or older people talking about their life or us talking about how you don't want to be on your deathbed with all this regret, which means you don't want to be in the last moments of your life, right before you die, thinking about all the things you regret. Okay? 

[00:07:03] All right. Next is the afterlife. Another one of those terms that you probably understand just by hearing it, but the afterlife literally refers to life after death, your existence after death. 

[00:07:16] The next word on the list is elegant, elegant, right? Elegant E L E G A N T elegant. And it just means pleasingly graceful and stylish in appearance.

[00:07:28] The next word on the list is replied. R E P L I E D. It's the past tense of reply, R E P L Y. And reply just means to say something in response to something that someone else has said. The reason I put that on the list is because there's more than one word to express this action. You can say reply, you can say respond, or you can say answer. Okay? I would say answer is probably the least formal, the most common, and then reply is a little more formal, respond is about the same level of formality as reply. And in this context, they all mean the same thing to, to say something in response to something that someone else has said. All right? 

[00:08:09] All right. Next is walk away. Now, there is a very literal meaning of walk away which literally just mean to use your feet to move away from someone or something, you're walking away. But in this context, it means to casually or irresponsibly withdraw from a situation in which one is involved or for which one is responsible. Now, that is a lot of words and it sounds very formal. So basically to walk away from something just means to decide that you are no longer going to care about or be responsible for one of your responsibilities. All right. 

[00:08:44] So you might walk away from your children, which means you basically abandoned them. You don't care about that responsibility anymore. You walk away from your husband. You decide we're done, you're no longer my responsibility, I don't care about you anymore, I'm going to do my own thing. You have walked away from this person, not physically or literally, but more like figuratively. Hopefully you can understand that. 

[00:09:04] So the next word on the list is proud. P R O U D proud, which is just a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction as a result of one's own achievements, qualities, or possessions, or those of someone with whom one is closely associated. Again, that's a lot of words. So when you think of proud, you can think of this deep sense of satisfaction for something that you have achieved, or a quality that you possess. Now, word that's very closely related is pride. So we feel proud. That's the adjective. I feel proud of something. Now pride is the feeling of being proud. Hopefully, that makes sense. Okay. So proud is the feeling or a proud is what you are, and pride is that feeling of being proud. I really hope that makes sense. 

[00:09:51] All right. Next on the list is show her off. The king would like to show off his second or third wife. I can't remember. So to show off just means to, to really, to show someone off means to display someone or something that is a source of pride. A source of pride is something that makes you feel proud, right? So to show off your wife needs to take her around to all the, I don't know, the clubs, the bars, everywhere you go. You want everybody to see your beautiful, amazing wife, because you feel a sense of pride. You're proud that this woman is your wife. Okay. 

[00:10:24] Next, neighboring kingdoms. The word here is neighboring. That's the word I want to explain. Neighboring just means next to, or very near another place or adjacent. Now, we use this word neighboring when we're talking not about just anything, like, I wouldn't say, uh, the TV is neighboring my desk or the light is neighboring the phone or anything like that. Normally, we're talking about, um, cities or communities. The neighboring city, the neighboring kingdom, the neighboring community means the community city or area next to my community, city or area. Okay. 

[00:11:02] All right. Next is accompany, accompany. Accompany someone just means to go somewhere with someone as a companion or an escort. So would you accompany me to the store? It's a very formal way of saying, would you go with me to the store. To accompany someone just needs to go with someone. Okay. So let me repeat. It's a more formal way of saying to go with someone to someplace. All right. 

[00:11:26] Next is remarry. Now you probably understand this, but just in case you don't to remarry simply means to get married again. So I married my first wife, we get divorced or she dies and then I get married again, which means I have remarried.

[00:11:41] Next word on the list is to be there for someone. To be there for him or her or them or me, to be there for someone just means to be available, to provide support or comfort for someone. And this is a very common expression, let's say. You know I.. Can you be there for me? Or I was always there for her, which means I always showed her support. I always gave her comfort. I was always by her side. That's another way of saying it. I'm right by your side. I'm there for you. Or you can say I'm here for you. I don't want to confuse you because, you know... When we say, I'm here for you, most of the time, we're actually there with the person, present in the same place. Like, I'm right in front of you, and I can say, I'm here for you. 

[00:12:22] Now, if you're talking about the future, I'll say I will be there for you because here is right now. There, since we're not there right now, it's most likely in the past or the future. I really hope that makes sense. It makes sense in my head when I explained it. So let somebody, let me know. To me a message or leave a comment. Let me know if that makes sense. 

[00:12:42] All right, next on the list is to help someone out. Help you out, help me out, help them out. It's all the same. And it just means to give ones services or resources to make it easier for someone to do something. So you might be thinking, what's the difference between help and help out? There's really no distinct difference in my mind. I would just say the only difference I can think of at the moment is maybe help out is, like, when you're helping someone out of a difficult situation. That, I think, is a more common way to use, help out.

[00:13:16] If you're doing, if you're going through something difficult and you need help to get out of the situation, then I would help you out. Imagine if you're stuck in a hole and you can't get out of the hole by yourself, I help you out of the hole. And again, it's help and help out are essentially the same thing. But that's the one small distinction that I can make between those two. All right? Cool. 

[00:13:39] Now, next on the list is arrange, arrange someone's funeral. To arrange a funeral just means to organize or make plans for a future event. And the future event in this case is the funeral. So we can arrange a party. We can arrange a meeting, arrange a funeral. Now, this word arrange when we use it in this way is a more formal way of saying organize or plan. So we can organize a funeral. We can arrange a funeral. We can organize or plan a party, or we can arrange a party. Just a more formal way of saying it. 

[00:14:10] So, the next word or next phrase on the list is call out. He said a voice called out. Now, there's more than one meaning for this word, so I'll explain the two most common. In this context, to call out, if a voice calls out, it just means to summon someone to deal with an emergency or provide a service. So maybe that doesn't make much sense. So let me try and explain it a different way.

[00:14:34] Call and call out are similar. But when we hear call out in this context, it's most likely because the voice came from within, came from inside us or some hidden place that we can't see, and the voice came out of that hidden place and we heard it. Hopefully, that makes sense. 

[00:14:51] Now, the same phrasal verb call out in a different context means to draw critical attention to someone's unacceptable actions or behavior. For example, let's imagine we're walking down the street and we see some guy literally pissing in the street, urinating in the street in front of everybody. Most people will probably just walk by and say, man, that dude is crazy, but you are like, nah, fuck that. That's unacceptable. So you walk over and you call him out for what he's doing. You basically, in front of everybody, out loud to his face... you might yell at him or reprimand him or basically scold him or say, you're doing, what you're doing is wrong. That's unacceptable. You're calling him out on his unacceptable behavior. Okay. 

[00:15:34] All right. Next on the list is embarrassed, embarrassed as means feeling self-conscious or ashamed or awkward. You probably know that, but just in case you don't, now you know what embarrassed means. 

[00:15:46] And next is the moral of the story. And the word I want to explain here is moral. There's more than one meaning, but when we say the moral of the story, the moral of the story is basically the lesson that can be taken away from the story. A lot of times it's referring to what is right or wrong, but that's not always the case. You can just understand that the moral is the lesson or the idea that you should take away, that you should understand after hearing the story. That's the moral of the story. 

[00:16:13] All right. The next word on the list is. N E G L E C T neglect. And to neglect something just means to fail, to care properly for something. So if you neglect your kids, you're not taking care of them like you should. You're not feeding them like you should or giving them the love and attention and time that they need. Right? So you're neglecting them. If you neglect your car, eventually it's going to break down. It's going to stop working because you have to change the oil, put air in the tires, you have to wash it and things like that. So it just means to avoid or to fail to take care of something properly. 

[00:16:47] The next word on the list is to nourish N O U R I S H nourish. And that means to provide with the food or other substances necessary for growth, for your health, or for good condition. So again, we can use the example of your children. You need to nourish them. You need to give them the food that they need so that they can grow, the water that they need so they can survive. Right? You need to give them the love, and affection, and attention. That's also a form of nourishment, right? You're feeding them the things that they need to grow the same way that you would feed a plant or something like that. Right? 

[00:17:22] All right. Two more words. We're almost done. Last one is not last one. The second to last one is pray P R A Y, which is different from P R E Y. So don't get confused. They sound exactly the same, they're homophones, but this word P R A Y means to address a solemn request or expression of thanks to a deity or a God or some other object of worship. So hearing myself read that definition it's... you know, maybe not the easiest thing to understand, and you probably know what pray means, you know, but just in case, pray, you can think of it as the moment where you sit down and you talk to.. You can, some people call it different things. It could be God, it could be some other deity of worship, some object of worship, the universe, whatever it is, but you're having a conversation with a higher power. Whatever it is that you believe in, you're praying. Okay? 

[00:18:18] Now, last word on the list, which you probably know is meditate. M E D I T A T E meditate. And it just means to think deeply or focus one's mind for a period of time in silence or with the aid of chanting for religious or spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation. So that's that time when you just sit in a quiet room by yourself. And some people will choose to focus on their breathing. Some people choose to focus on certain thoughts. Everybody meditates in their own way, but it's just that moment when you sit down and you basically do nothing. There's many reasons for doing that. Everybody meditates in different ways for different reasons, but you get the point, right? When you sit down and you deeply focus on just one thing or nothing, you know, you get the point. Right? 

[00:19:07] All right. So let's just summarize this episode. Four wives, number one or number four, excuse me. Number four. The body. Take care of your body because it's the only one that you have. You have to nourish it, take care of it, give it what it needs to maintain itself healthy. 

[00:19:24] Number three, possessions. Enjoy your possessions. They can be great sources of joy during your time here on earth, right? 

[00:19:33] Wife number two, your friends and your family. Appreciate your friends and family, because they are the only ones that you can trust and rely on when things get difficult. 

[00:19:42] And wife number one, your soul. Nourish your soul. It's the only thing that you will take with you to the afterlife.

[00:19:52] All right, my friend, that is Coffee with Kaizen number 21 in the books. So I will talk to you later. 

[00:19:59] Peace.

[END OF PODCAST]

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Transcript

[00:00:00] We all have four wives.

[00:00:04] What's up, my friend? This is Coffee with Kaizen number 21. And in this episode, I'm going to be sharing a story with you. I saw this interesting clip on TikTok the other day of this man telling a story about four wives. Now, unfortunately, I couldn't find the name of this man, or I don't know where this clip actually came from or anything like that. 

[00:00:26] All I was able to do was find the clip on YouTube so I could play it for you. So I will put the link to this video in the show notes for this episode and in a description on YouTube. But unfortunately, I can't really tell you much more about this story or this man, because I couldn't find any more information. But at least I can share the story with you because it's pretty interesting and thought-provoking. All right? 

[00:00:48] I'm going to play the clip or the story for you. Then after that, I'll just explain a little bit of useful vocabulary and that'll be it for this episode. Now, like I always say, hopefully, it's a short one. But it seems like whenever I say that, the episode's like 20 or 30 minutes. All right. But we're going to see how this goes, and hopefully, you enjoy the story. All right. So let's not waste any more time. Let me play this story for you. Here we go.

[00:01:14] Once upon a time, there was a king with four wives. One day, the king got sick and was on his deathbed. Afraid of being in the afterlife alone, he asked his fourth wife, which he loved the most, and bought her diamonds and gold and elegant clothing, he asked her, “Would you die with me and go with me to the afterlife?” The fourth wife replied, “I'm sorry, I can't do that.” and walked away

[00:01:44] He also loved his third wife and was very proud and would always show her off to neighboring kingdoms. So he called on his third wife and asked, “Would you accompany me to the afterlife?” The third wife replied, “I love my life too much. And I'm sorry, I cannot go with you. And when you die, I'm going to remarry.”

[00:02:07] The second wife has always been there for him in his times of need. So he asked, “Would you accompany me to the afterlife?” The second wife then replied, “I'm sorry that I can't help you out this time, but what I can do is arrange your funeral and I will be there for your funeral.”

[00:02:28] A voice called out and said, “I'll leave with you and follow you wherever you go, even if it is to the afterlife.” And it was his first wife, but this was the wife that he took care of the least. He felt embarrassed and said, “I'm sorry, I should have taken more care of you and given you more attention when I was alive.” 

[00:02:51] The moral of this story is that we all have four wives. Our fourth wife is our body. We like to decorate it with nice jewelry, nice clothing, but in the end, it can't follow us to the afterlife. 

[00:03:10] The third wife represents our possessions. We spend so much time trying to gather possessions, but in the end they cannot follow us to the afterlife. They will be given to other people and divided just like the third wife said, she's going to remarry.

[00:03:26] The second wife, our friends and family. We trust them. They're always there for us in times of need, but the furthest they can go with us is to our funeral and send us off

[00:03:40] Our first wife, the first wife represents our soul. We usually neglect taking care of our soul. That is the thing that will follow us to the afterlife. 

[00:03:55] Care for your body. Keep it healthy. Enjoy your possessions and the comfort they provide. Cherish your friends and family for the love that they provide. But don't forget to take care of your soul, nourish your soul. Take time to be alone, take time to pray, take time to meditate. Because it is the source of all of your life and your most faithful friend. I hope this story can help you or somebody that you love.

[00:04:30] All right, y'all, that is a story about the king and the four wives. Now, hopefully, you found it interesting or a little entertaining or hopefully, thought-provoking, but all I'm going to do now is go through and talk about some of the useful vocabulary that this man used during his story to hopefully help you understand the entire story and learn some things that you can use in your everyday conversations. All right? Let's get started. 

[00:04:53] The first one, the very first line of the story, 'once upon a time', this just means at some time in the past, and it's a very common, conventional way to start a story about the past. Not so much when you're telling stories, like, to your friends and things like that, but you'll hear a lot of times in fairy tales or, um, fiction movies and things like that... all movies are fiction, I guess, but you get the point. Like, more fantasy type stories, 'once upon a time in a foreign land' or something like that. It just means at some point in time, that's it. Now, we don't really speak that way in our daily conversations, but hopefully you get the point. All right. 

[00:05:33] So the next one is 'got sick', which is the past tense of 'get sick' and to get sick just means to become sick or to become ill. Now, the reason I taught, you probably know that, but the reason I put that on the list is because this word get everybody's favorite verb because it means 20 different things. One of the most common meanings and uses for this word ‘get’ is basically just a change in state.

[00:05:59] It could be a change in mental state or a change in physical state, a change in emotion or something like that. For example, to get sick, to become sick, to get mad, to become mad, to get hungry, to get taller, to get interested, whatever it is. You go from not being this thing to being this thing. So, just, essentially it means to become something, to change your state of mind, emotion, physical being or something like that. All right? 

[00:06:27] All right. Cool. So next on the list is deathbed. Now, you probably can understand this just by hearing the words deathbed, but whenever we say deathbed, it just refers to, it's not always literally a bed, but most of the time it's the place where a person is laying right before they die. So a lot of times it's the hospital, but you'll hear in many conversations about death or older people talking about their life or us talking about how you don't want to be on your deathbed with all this regret, which means you don't want to be in the last moments of your life, right before you die, thinking about all the things you regret. Okay? 

[00:07:03] All right. Next is the afterlife. Another one of those terms that you probably understand just by hearing it, but the afterlife literally refers to life after death, your existence after death. 

[00:07:16] The next word on the list is elegant, elegant, right? Elegant E L E G A N T elegant. And it just means pleasingly graceful and stylish in appearance.

[00:07:28] The next word on the list is replied. R E P L I E D. It's the past tense of reply, R E P L Y. And reply just means to say something in response to something that someone else has said. The reason I put that on the list is because there's more than one word to express this action. You can say reply, you can say respond, or you can say answer. Okay? I would say answer is probably the least formal, the most common, and then reply is a little more formal, respond is about the same level of formality as reply. And in this context, they all mean the same thing to, to say something in response to something that someone else has said. All right? 

[00:08:09] All right. Next is walk away. Now, there is a very literal meaning of walk away which literally just mean to use your feet to move away from someone or something, you're walking away. But in this context, it means to casually or irresponsibly withdraw from a situation in which one is involved or for which one is responsible. Now, that is a lot of words and it sounds very formal. So basically to walk away from something just means to decide that you are no longer going to care about or be responsible for one of your responsibilities. All right. 

[00:08:44] So you might walk away from your children, which means you basically abandoned them. You don't care about that responsibility anymore. You walk away from your husband. You decide we're done, you're no longer my responsibility, I don't care about you anymore, I'm going to do my own thing. You have walked away from this person, not physically or literally, but more like figuratively. Hopefully you can understand that. 

[00:09:04] So the next word on the list is proud. P R O U D proud, which is just a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction as a result of one's own achievements, qualities, or possessions, or those of someone with whom one is closely associated. Again, that's a lot of words. So when you think of proud, you can think of this deep sense of satisfaction for something that you have achieved, or a quality that you possess. Now, word that's very closely related is pride. So we feel proud. That's the adjective. I feel proud of something. Now pride is the feeling of being proud. Hopefully, that makes sense. Okay. So proud is the feeling or a proud is what you are, and pride is that feeling of being proud. I really hope that makes sense. 

[00:09:51] All right. Next on the list is show her off. The king would like to show off his second or third wife. I can't remember. So to show off just means to, to really, to show someone off means to display someone or something that is a source of pride. A source of pride is something that makes you feel proud, right? So to show off your wife needs to take her around to all the, I don't know, the clubs, the bars, everywhere you go. You want everybody to see your beautiful, amazing wife, because you feel a sense of pride. You're proud that this woman is your wife. Okay. 

[00:10:24] Next, neighboring kingdoms. The word here is neighboring. That's the word I want to explain. Neighboring just means next to, or very near another place or adjacent. Now, we use this word neighboring when we're talking not about just anything, like, I wouldn't say, uh, the TV is neighboring my desk or the light is neighboring the phone or anything like that. Normally, we're talking about, um, cities or communities. The neighboring city, the neighboring kingdom, the neighboring community means the community city or area next to my community, city or area. Okay. 

[00:11:02] All right. Next is accompany, accompany. Accompany someone just means to go somewhere with someone as a companion or an escort. So would you accompany me to the store? It's a very formal way of saying, would you go with me to the store. To accompany someone just needs to go with someone. Okay. So let me repeat. It's a more formal way of saying to go with someone to someplace. All right. 

[00:11:26] Next is remarry. Now you probably understand this, but just in case you don't to remarry simply means to get married again. So I married my first wife, we get divorced or she dies and then I get married again, which means I have remarried.

[00:11:41] Next word on the list is to be there for someone. To be there for him or her or them or me, to be there for someone just means to be available, to provide support or comfort for someone. And this is a very common expression, let's say. You know I.. Can you be there for me? Or I was always there for her, which means I always showed her support. I always gave her comfort. I was always by her side. That's another way of saying it. I'm right by your side. I'm there for you. Or you can say I'm here for you. I don't want to confuse you because, you know... When we say, I'm here for you, most of the time, we're actually there with the person, present in the same place. Like, I'm right in front of you, and I can say, I'm here for you. 

[00:12:22] Now, if you're talking about the future, I'll say I will be there for you because here is right now. There, since we're not there right now, it's most likely in the past or the future. I really hope that makes sense. It makes sense in my head when I explained it. So let somebody, let me know. To me a message or leave a comment. Let me know if that makes sense. 

[00:12:42] All right, next on the list is to help someone out. Help you out, help me out, help them out. It's all the same. And it just means to give ones services or resources to make it easier for someone to do something. So you might be thinking, what's the difference between help and help out? There's really no distinct difference in my mind. I would just say the only difference I can think of at the moment is maybe help out is, like, when you're helping someone out of a difficult situation. That, I think, is a more common way to use, help out.

[00:13:16] If you're doing, if you're going through something difficult and you need help to get out of the situation, then I would help you out. Imagine if you're stuck in a hole and you can't get out of the hole by yourself, I help you out of the hole. And again, it's help and help out are essentially the same thing. But that's the one small distinction that I can make between those two. All right? Cool. 

[00:13:39] Now, next on the list is arrange, arrange someone's funeral. To arrange a funeral just means to organize or make plans for a future event. And the future event in this case is the funeral. So we can arrange a party. We can arrange a meeting, arrange a funeral. Now, this word arrange when we use it in this way is a more formal way of saying organize or plan. So we can organize a funeral. We can arrange a funeral. We can organize or plan a party, or we can arrange a party. Just a more formal way of saying it. 

[00:14:10] So, the next word or next phrase on the list is call out. He said a voice called out. Now, there's more than one meaning for this word, so I'll explain the two most common. In this context, to call out, if a voice calls out, it just means to summon someone to deal with an emergency or provide a service. So maybe that doesn't make much sense. So let me try and explain it a different way.

[00:14:34] Call and call out are similar. But when we hear call out in this context, it's most likely because the voice came from within, came from inside us or some hidden place that we can't see, and the voice came out of that hidden place and we heard it. Hopefully, that makes sense. 

[00:14:51] Now, the same phrasal verb call out in a different context means to draw critical attention to someone's unacceptable actions or behavior. For example, let's imagine we're walking down the street and we see some guy literally pissing in the street, urinating in the street in front of everybody. Most people will probably just walk by and say, man, that dude is crazy, but you are like, nah, fuck that. That's unacceptable. So you walk over and you call him out for what he's doing. You basically, in front of everybody, out loud to his face... you might yell at him or reprimand him or basically scold him or say, you're doing, what you're doing is wrong. That's unacceptable. You're calling him out on his unacceptable behavior. Okay. 

[00:15:34] All right. Next on the list is embarrassed, embarrassed as means feeling self-conscious or ashamed or awkward. You probably know that, but just in case you don't, now you know what embarrassed means. 

[00:15:46] And next is the moral of the story. And the word I want to explain here is moral. There's more than one meaning, but when we say the moral of the story, the moral of the story is basically the lesson that can be taken away from the story. A lot of times it's referring to what is right or wrong, but that's not always the case. You can just understand that the moral is the lesson or the idea that you should take away, that you should understand after hearing the story. That's the moral of the story. 

[00:16:13] All right. The next word on the list is. N E G L E C T neglect. And to neglect something just means to fail, to care properly for something. So if you neglect your kids, you're not taking care of them like you should. You're not feeding them like you should or giving them the love and attention and time that they need. Right? So you're neglecting them. If you neglect your car, eventually it's going to break down. It's going to stop working because you have to change the oil, put air in the tires, you have to wash it and things like that. So it just means to avoid or to fail to take care of something properly. 

[00:16:47] The next word on the list is to nourish N O U R I S H nourish. And that means to provide with the food or other substances necessary for growth, for your health, or for good condition. So again, we can use the example of your children. You need to nourish them. You need to give them the food that they need so that they can grow, the water that they need so they can survive. Right? You need to give them the love, and affection, and attention. That's also a form of nourishment, right? You're feeding them the things that they need to grow the same way that you would feed a plant or something like that. Right? 

[00:17:22] All right. Two more words. We're almost done. Last one is not last one. The second to last one is pray P R A Y, which is different from P R E Y. So don't get confused. They sound exactly the same, they're homophones, but this word P R A Y means to address a solemn request or expression of thanks to a deity or a God or some other object of worship. So hearing myself read that definition it's... you know, maybe not the easiest thing to understand, and you probably know what pray means, you know, but just in case, pray, you can think of it as the moment where you sit down and you talk to.. You can, some people call it different things. It could be God, it could be some other deity of worship, some object of worship, the universe, whatever it is, but you're having a conversation with a higher power. Whatever it is that you believe in, you're praying. Okay? 

[00:18:18] Now, last word on the list, which you probably know is meditate. M E D I T A T E meditate. And it just means to think deeply or focus one's mind for a period of time in silence or with the aid of chanting for religious or spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation. So that's that time when you just sit in a quiet room by yourself. And some people will choose to focus on their breathing. Some people choose to focus on certain thoughts. Everybody meditates in their own way, but it's just that moment when you sit down and you basically do nothing. There's many reasons for doing that. Everybody meditates in different ways for different reasons, but you get the point, right? When you sit down and you deeply focus on just one thing or nothing, you know, you get the point. Right? 

[00:19:07] All right. So let's just summarize this episode. Four wives, number one or number four, excuse me. Number four. The body. Take care of your body because it's the only one that you have. You have to nourish it, take care of it, give it what it needs to maintain itself healthy. 

[00:19:24] Number three, possessions. Enjoy your possessions. They can be great sources of joy during your time here on earth, right? 

[00:19:33] Wife number two, your friends and your family. Appreciate your friends and family, because they are the only ones that you can trust and rely on when things get difficult. 

[00:19:42] And wife number one, your soul. Nourish your soul. It's the only thing that you will take with you to the afterlife.

[00:19:52] All right, my friend, that is Coffee with Kaizen number 21 in the books. So I will talk to you later. 

[00:19:59] Peace.

[END OF PODCAST]

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