CK #22 - 4 Things You Need to Hear Today

September 13, 2021

Another thought-provoking episode with 4 important life lessons.

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[00:00:00] Here are four things you need to hear today.

[00:00:07] What's up everybody. This is Coffee with Kaizen number 22, and today I'm going to be sharing another thought-provoking clip that I saw online the other day. A man named Avi Wizwar, (sorry if I'm pronouncing your name correctly,) is going to share four things that you need to hear today. 

[00:00:25] Now, the messages in this clip are extremely important, and I think that they're the perfect thing for you to hear on a Monday morning. So like I always say, we're not going to waste any time we're going to get right into this episode. 

[00:00:37] So I'm going to play the clip from start to finish. Then I'll explain any words or phrases just to make sure you understand everything. And after that, I'll share my personal thoughts with you, and that'll be it for this episode. So let's get into it, my friend. Let's do this..

[00:00:56] Here are four things you need to hear today. Number one, the progress that you make throughout life does not need to be seen or validated by anybody else, but you. Understand that the progress that you make and the success that comes with it does not need to be seen or accepted by others. It should only be accepted by yourself, and yourself only. 

[00:01:15] Number two, you are more than capable of walking away from that situation or that relationship. The mind games and the toxic activity come to a close when you stop entertaining it. 

[00:01:25] Number three, you are with yourself more than anybody else in this life, 24 hours a day. Make sure your thoughts and the way you talk to yourself are positive.

[00:01:34] Number four, accept people for who they are and how they are, but place them where they may belong. Accept all people from all walks of life, it will give you a greater perspective. But if they do not serve a greater purpose or add positivity to your life, you may leave them where they stand. 

[00:01:52] All right, y'all. Hopefully, the clip wasn't too challenging for you to understand. But like I said, I'm going to go through and explain any words or phrases that I think might be a little challenging if you're hearing them for the first time, just so you understand everything, and then we will proceed

[00:02:07] So let's go back to thing number one that you need to hear. Number one, the progress that you make throughout life does not need to be seen or validated by anybody else. 

[00:02:19] All right. So the progress that you make throughout life does not need to be seen or validated by anybody else. So there's a couple of things I want to bring to your attention. 

[00:02:28] The first one is the progress. He said the progress that you make. So in English, we make progress. We don't do progress or anything else like that. We make progress. Now there are also times where you can say, ”I'm seeing progress.” just like I'm witnessing or observing the progress, but in terms of the action, we make progress. Okay. I'm sure that makes sense or I hope that makes sense to you. 

[00:02:52] So after that, he says the progress that you make throughout life. Now, I've already made an episode about this on Life in English, about, um, through, throughout though, et cetera. So you should know what the word throughout means and how to use it. But just in case you haven't heard that episode.. When he says throughout, in this case, T H R O U G H O U T. That's a long word, throughout. What he's saying is he's referring to the duration of your life. So if I say throughout life, I'm talking about the entire duration of your life, from start to finish. All that time in between the start and the finish. Okay? 

[00:03:29] So the progress that you make throughout life does not need to be seen. Or validated by anyone else. So the last thing I want to bring to your attention is validated by. Validated just means basically having the value of something confirmed, right? That's not the textbook definition. I don't have that in front of me, but that's the basic idea of the word.

[00:03:48] So when we say validated by anybody else, that's our way of expressing an action being done... Not... I can't say it in a different way, not by you, but by someone else. I really can't find another word to express that. So when we say validated by someone else, we don't say validated for someone else or validated with or any other preposition. Things are validated by other people. Man, I hope that makes sense. 

[00:04:15] But now let's get into my own personal thoughts and opinions about this first... I don't know if it's a tip, but this idea, this thing that we really need to hear, not just today, but on a regular basis, right? 

[00:04:27] This one is important because for better or for worse, it has become common practice to share every moment of every day of our lives with the world.

[00:04:36] “If I don't share it online, then it didn't really happen.” That's the mentality that a lot of people have adopted these days. And the truth is not only do most people not give a single fuck about you or your life experience, but most people don't want to see you succeed anyway. Progress, success, and greatness threaten the fragile egos of the people who are fully aware that they're not doing anything productive with their own lives.

[00:05:05] When they see you trying to do better or even just do something different, their natural instinct will be to try and tear you down, criticize you and make you feel insecure. So, although you may feel the urge to share your growth, your light, your positivity with others, just remember that you are not for everyone.

[00:05:27] Your highs and lows are personal experiences, and you certainly should not be getting personal with anyone and everyone you meet. Your daily struggle is just that, yours. And it doesn't need to be shared with the world in order for it to be validated. 

[00:05:46] So, number two. Number two, you are more than capable of walking away from that situation or that relationship. The mind games and the toxic activity come to a close when you stop entertaining it.

[00:06:00] So I'm just going to repeat what he said. You are more than capable of walking away from that situation or that relationship. The mind games and the toxic activity come to a close when you stop entertaining it. 

[00:06:12] So the first thing I want to explain is more than capable, 'cause capable in this case is functioning like an adjective, right? You are capable. So when we say more than capable, that's our way of expressing that you have this capacity for something and then some. 

[00:06:29] So let's say you need five points to be considered capable, but you have 50 points. So you are more than capable. You have more than what is necessary to do or to say this particular thing. That's our way of expressing that. You are more than capable of walking away from that situation or that relationship. You have more than what is necessary. You see? 

[00:06:52] So, next is walking away from, I believe I talked about this in the last episode, but to walk away from, in this context, is more of a figurative thing. To walk away from a situation or a relationship basically means to leave it behind, leave it in the past. It's no longer your concern or your responsibility is not getting your attention or importance anymore. You have walked away from it, the same way you would physically walk away from something that you did not want to be close to anymore. That's the idea. 

[00:07:19] All right. So the mind games and the toxic activity come to a close. The first thing, mind games. This, maybe you can understand this just by hearing it, but when we say mind games, it's the psychological games that people try to play with you in order to manipulate you. That's a mind game. Something that they're doing, they have some psychological tactic to get inside your head and do what they want you to do or think what they want you to think. 

[00:07:45] Now the toxic activity, I'm sure you've heard the word toxic, you know, over the last year, maybe two. It's become a really popular word, even though it's overused. Toxic activity is just... toxic is something that is just not good for you. Think of it as poison. Poison is toxic. It can kill you. 

[00:08:04] So any toxic chemical or material is something that can or has the ability to kill you. Can potentially kill you. So toxic activity is just shit that is not good for your mental health. It's not good for your physical health. It's a waste of time, makes you miserable. That's toxic activity. Shit that's just really not good for you. 

[00:08:23] So the mind games and the toxic activity come to a close when you stop entertaining them. So to come to a close. What he means when he said, when he says that is it ends. If something comes to a close, that means it comes to an end. It finishes. It's over. Okay. It's kind of a formal way of saying to end or to finish, right? The movie has come to a close. I'm almost certain, we would never say that, but it does make sense. It just means the movie has ended. The story has come to a close. The games, the toxic activity come to a close, they end when you stop entertaining them.

[00:08:56] So to entertain in this context, doesn't mean to make somebody laugh and make them have a good time. That's one way of saying, or using the word entertain. But in this case to entertain an idea or a person or an activity means to give it a chance to entertain you, right? You're giving it time and attention and energy and focus. You're entertaining it. 

[00:09:18] It's probably not the best explanation of the word, so I just found the definition in the dictionary. And to entertain in this context is to give attention or consideration to an idea, a suggestion, or a feeling. And I would also say a person. Okay. So it just means to give attention or consideration to. That's the idea. So when you stop doing that, giving attention and consideration to toxic activity, to mind games, to manipulative people, all that shit comes to an end. That's the idea. 

[00:09:45] And this one really is about self-respect. You know, you might be surprised by how much time you waste on people and situations that aren't bringing any real value to your life. You might be ashamed of yourself if you took a step back to really see how much energy, attention, and importance you're giving to people who want nothing more than to manipulate you, play games with you, and use you like a tool or a child's toy. 

[00:10:10] You'll see a real positive change in your life once you gain the self-respect and courage you must have in order to walk away from people and things that don't serve your life purpose. But here's the catch, you must decide what your life purpose actually is. Only then can you decide if the people and things in your life are serving that purpose or not. 

[00:10:32] You must also take the time to get to know yourself, get comfortable with yourself, and get comfortable with the idea of being alone. If you can't do these things, it's likely that you'll keep going back to the same shitty people and or attracting more people of the same kind. So stop entertaining people's bullshit and watch your life change for the better. 

[00:10:56] Number three. Number three, you are with yourself more than anybody else in this life, 24 hours a day. Make sure your thoughts and the way you talk to yourself are positive. 

[00:11:09] You are with yourself more than anybody else in his life, 24 hours a day. Make sure your thoughts and the way you talk to yourself are positive. Now, remember when I said you must get comfortable with yourself. This is what I was talking about.

[00:11:25] Understand that the only person that will be with you from the day you were born until the day you die. That's the person that should get the most love, attention, nourishment, and energy in your life. Now, do not misunderstand me. I'm not saying that you shouldn't be hard on yourself. Part of true love and compassion is doing and saying the things that are difficult and uncomfortable. So if you're a piece of shit, you have to be able to look in the mirror and recognize that. If you can't do that, you won't ever be able to change it and become something better. 

[00:12:01] So this isn't about that fake self-love. This isn't about only saying positive things that make you feel better. This is about acknowledging your flaws, your mistakes, your insecurities, your hatred, your weakness, all the negativity, and shortcomings. You must acknowledge all of it. And then you must focus 100% of your energy on improving those things every single day.. 

[00:12:28] So don't tear yourself down with negativity, but acknowledge the negativity that is inside you. And don't build yourself up with false positivity, but take the actions that will prove that your intentions and direction are positive. That's how you get on the road to a better version of yourself.

[00:12:49] Number four. Number four, accept people for who they are and how they are but place them where they may belong. Accept all people from all walks of life, it will give you a greater perspective. But if they do not serve a greater purpose or add positivity to your life, you may leave them where they stand. 

[00:13:12] All right. Accept people for who they are and how they are, but place them where they belong. So what he means when he says that is... Well, the part about accepting people for who they are and how they are is pretty clear, I imagine. 

[00:13:24] But place them where they belong simply means to put them in the right place. You know, that place might be close to you, that place might be very far away from you, but you need to put them in the right place. All right? 

[00:13:36] Now, accept people from all walks of life. This is an expression that just describes people from different backgrounds. It could be religious backgrounds, cultural backgrounds, ethnic backgrounds. It doesn't matter. If it's a man or a woman, they're black, white, brown, yellow. It doesn't matter. All these people come from different places. They speak different languages, have different beliefs and things like that. They all have a different or come from a different walk of life and you need to be able to accept all of them. That's the idea. 

[00:14:03] Because that will give you a greater perspective and greater perspective just means bigger, more clear, a wider perspective, right? As opposed to a narrow, closed-minded view of the world, by accepting people from all walks of life, you are widening or making your perspective greater, bigger, right? That's the idea. 

[00:14:23] However, if they do not serve a greater purpose or add positivity to your life, you may leave them where they stand. So the last thing I want to explain is serve a greater purpose. We've been talking about that basically this whole episode. 

[00:14:36] So if something serves a greater purpose, basically what we're saying is, it's contributing to that higher purpose that's bigger than yourself. Your life's purpose, what you're really trying to achieve in life.. That's the greater purpose. 

[00:14:49] If it's not serving that, or if this person is not serving that greater purpose, you may leave them where they stand. Leave them behind, leave them to the side, in the past. You do not need to take them with you. There's no obligation to do that. The way I understood his message, that's the idea. You know? 

[00:15:06] And as a young man, I've gone through different stages of understanding when it comes to this particular subject. I really used to think that I could change people. And I never had the idea in my mind to change someone, but I subconsciously believed it was possible. However, believing in an idea like that only brings frustration and disappointment.

[00:15:31] Although I do believe you can influence people, you can never change them. Change is an action that the individual must choose to take. And once you understand that, you'll stop investing time and energy into people who clearly show no intention of investing time and energy into themselves.

[00:15:51] We must also acknowledge the fact that the idea that you can change someone else suggests that you know exactly what is wrong with the person and you know exactly how to fix it. However, that's simply not the case and it never will be. You most likely don't even know what's wrong with yourself or how you're going to make yourself better. So what makes you think that you know everything about someone else and how to make them better? Clean your own room before you talk about how dirty someone else's room is

[00:16:23] After realizing I couldn't change people, I started to think that if I just waited long enough, people would change on their own. “People just need time.” I thought. Although I do believe that change takes time, I do not think it is wise to spend your time waiting for someone or something else to change. That's something you virtually have no control over. So while you're sitting there waiting for another person to change, the minutes, the hours and the days of your life are passing by. Are you sure you want to spend that time waiting for someone else?

[00:17:01] Once I came to this realization, that you can neither change someone nor spend your life waiting for them to change, I arrived at the place I am today. I do not judge people for who they are. I do not try to change who they are. I'm nothing more than an observer. 

[00:17:19] So if you do not try to influence people's thoughts or decisions, and you simply allow them to show you who they are, you maintain the power of pure choice. What do I mean by that? I mean that you can make a truly informed decision about this person because you haven't done anything to influence or change their behavior. 

[00:17:39] You can decide whether or not this person would be a good addition to your life, or if they would just be a waste of time and energy, and you can make that informed decision because you have done nothing more than let them be themselves. No judgment, no influence, no criticism, just observation. 

[00:17:58] So be accepting of all people, within reason, of course. However, remember that accepting someone for who they are is not the same thing as giving them a place of importance in your life. Sometimes you gotta love people from a distance. 

[00:18:16] Remember that you always have the right and sometimes even the obligation to walk away from people or situations that don't serve you or your life's purpose. Remember that your time is better spent on improving yourself and living your life's purpose. 

[00:18:32] Each person and situation in our life is simply an experience. The purpose of an experience is to teach us something and it's our responsibility to learn. If you're not learning from your experiences, you're simply wasting time.

[00:18:46] OUTRO MUSIC

[END OF PODCAST]

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[00:00:00] Here are four things you need to hear today.

[00:00:07] What's up everybody. This is Coffee with Kaizen number 22, and today I'm going to be sharing another thought-provoking clip that I saw online the other day. A man named Avi Wizwar, (sorry if I'm pronouncing your name correctly,) is going to share four things that you need to hear today. 

[00:00:25] Now, the messages in this clip are extremely important, and I think that they're the perfect thing for you to hear on a Monday morning. So like I always say, we're not going to waste any time we're going to get right into this episode. 

[00:00:37] So I'm going to play the clip from start to finish. Then I'll explain any words or phrases just to make sure you understand everything. And after that, I'll share my personal thoughts with you, and that'll be it for this episode. So let's get into it, my friend. Let's do this..

[00:00:56] Here are four things you need to hear today. Number one, the progress that you make throughout life does not need to be seen or validated by anybody else, but you. Understand that the progress that you make and the success that comes with it does not need to be seen or accepted by others. It should only be accepted by yourself, and yourself only. 

[00:01:15] Number two, you are more than capable of walking away from that situation or that relationship. The mind games and the toxic activity come to a close when you stop entertaining it. 

[00:01:25] Number three, you are with yourself more than anybody else in this life, 24 hours a day. Make sure your thoughts and the way you talk to yourself are positive.

[00:01:34] Number four, accept people for who they are and how they are, but place them where they may belong. Accept all people from all walks of life, it will give you a greater perspective. But if they do not serve a greater purpose or add positivity to your life, you may leave them where they stand. 

[00:01:52] All right, y'all. Hopefully, the clip wasn't too challenging for you to understand. But like I said, I'm going to go through and explain any words or phrases that I think might be a little challenging if you're hearing them for the first time, just so you understand everything, and then we will proceed

[00:02:07] So let's go back to thing number one that you need to hear. Number one, the progress that you make throughout life does not need to be seen or validated by anybody else. 

[00:02:19] All right. So the progress that you make throughout life does not need to be seen or validated by anybody else. So there's a couple of things I want to bring to your attention. 

[00:02:28] The first one is the progress. He said the progress that you make. So in English, we make progress. We don't do progress or anything else like that. We make progress. Now there are also times where you can say, ”I'm seeing progress.” just like I'm witnessing or observing the progress, but in terms of the action, we make progress. Okay. I'm sure that makes sense or I hope that makes sense to you. 

[00:02:52] So after that, he says the progress that you make throughout life. Now, I've already made an episode about this on Life in English, about, um, through, throughout though, et cetera. So you should know what the word throughout means and how to use it. But just in case you haven't heard that episode.. When he says throughout, in this case, T H R O U G H O U T. That's a long word, throughout. What he's saying is he's referring to the duration of your life. So if I say throughout life, I'm talking about the entire duration of your life, from start to finish. All that time in between the start and the finish. Okay? 

[00:03:29] So the progress that you make throughout life does not need to be seen. Or validated by anyone else. So the last thing I want to bring to your attention is validated by. Validated just means basically having the value of something confirmed, right? That's not the textbook definition. I don't have that in front of me, but that's the basic idea of the word.

[00:03:48] So when we say validated by anybody else, that's our way of expressing an action being done... Not... I can't say it in a different way, not by you, but by someone else. I really can't find another word to express that. So when we say validated by someone else, we don't say validated for someone else or validated with or any other preposition. Things are validated by other people. Man, I hope that makes sense. 

[00:04:15] But now let's get into my own personal thoughts and opinions about this first... I don't know if it's a tip, but this idea, this thing that we really need to hear, not just today, but on a regular basis, right? 

[00:04:27] This one is important because for better or for worse, it has become common practice to share every moment of every day of our lives with the world.

[00:04:36] “If I don't share it online, then it didn't really happen.” That's the mentality that a lot of people have adopted these days. And the truth is not only do most people not give a single fuck about you or your life experience, but most people don't want to see you succeed anyway. Progress, success, and greatness threaten the fragile egos of the people who are fully aware that they're not doing anything productive with their own lives.

[00:05:05] When they see you trying to do better or even just do something different, their natural instinct will be to try and tear you down, criticize you and make you feel insecure. So, although you may feel the urge to share your growth, your light, your positivity with others, just remember that you are not for everyone.

[00:05:27] Your highs and lows are personal experiences, and you certainly should not be getting personal with anyone and everyone you meet. Your daily struggle is just that, yours. And it doesn't need to be shared with the world in order for it to be validated. 

[00:05:46] So, number two. Number two, you are more than capable of walking away from that situation or that relationship. The mind games and the toxic activity come to a close when you stop entertaining it.

[00:06:00] So I'm just going to repeat what he said. You are more than capable of walking away from that situation or that relationship. The mind games and the toxic activity come to a close when you stop entertaining it. 

[00:06:12] So the first thing I want to explain is more than capable, 'cause capable in this case is functioning like an adjective, right? You are capable. So when we say more than capable, that's our way of expressing that you have this capacity for something and then some. 

[00:06:29] So let's say you need five points to be considered capable, but you have 50 points. So you are more than capable. You have more than what is necessary to do or to say this particular thing. That's our way of expressing that. You are more than capable of walking away from that situation or that relationship. You have more than what is necessary. You see? 

[00:06:52] So, next is walking away from, I believe I talked about this in the last episode, but to walk away from, in this context, is more of a figurative thing. To walk away from a situation or a relationship basically means to leave it behind, leave it in the past. It's no longer your concern or your responsibility is not getting your attention or importance anymore. You have walked away from it, the same way you would physically walk away from something that you did not want to be close to anymore. That's the idea. 

[00:07:19] All right. So the mind games and the toxic activity come to a close. The first thing, mind games. This, maybe you can understand this just by hearing it, but when we say mind games, it's the psychological games that people try to play with you in order to manipulate you. That's a mind game. Something that they're doing, they have some psychological tactic to get inside your head and do what they want you to do or think what they want you to think. 

[00:07:45] Now the toxic activity, I'm sure you've heard the word toxic, you know, over the last year, maybe two. It's become a really popular word, even though it's overused. Toxic activity is just... toxic is something that is just not good for you. Think of it as poison. Poison is toxic. It can kill you. 

[00:08:04] So any toxic chemical or material is something that can or has the ability to kill you. Can potentially kill you. So toxic activity is just shit that is not good for your mental health. It's not good for your physical health. It's a waste of time, makes you miserable. That's toxic activity. Shit that's just really not good for you. 

[00:08:23] So the mind games and the toxic activity come to a close when you stop entertaining them. So to come to a close. What he means when he said, when he says that is it ends. If something comes to a close, that means it comes to an end. It finishes. It's over. Okay. It's kind of a formal way of saying to end or to finish, right? The movie has come to a close. I'm almost certain, we would never say that, but it does make sense. It just means the movie has ended. The story has come to a close. The games, the toxic activity come to a close, they end when you stop entertaining them.

[00:08:56] So to entertain in this context, doesn't mean to make somebody laugh and make them have a good time. That's one way of saying, or using the word entertain. But in this case to entertain an idea or a person or an activity means to give it a chance to entertain you, right? You're giving it time and attention and energy and focus. You're entertaining it. 

[00:09:18] It's probably not the best explanation of the word, so I just found the definition in the dictionary. And to entertain in this context is to give attention or consideration to an idea, a suggestion, or a feeling. And I would also say a person. Okay. So it just means to give attention or consideration to. That's the idea. So when you stop doing that, giving attention and consideration to toxic activity, to mind games, to manipulative people, all that shit comes to an end. That's the idea. 

[00:09:45] And this one really is about self-respect. You know, you might be surprised by how much time you waste on people and situations that aren't bringing any real value to your life. You might be ashamed of yourself if you took a step back to really see how much energy, attention, and importance you're giving to people who want nothing more than to manipulate you, play games with you, and use you like a tool or a child's toy. 

[00:10:10] You'll see a real positive change in your life once you gain the self-respect and courage you must have in order to walk away from people and things that don't serve your life purpose. But here's the catch, you must decide what your life purpose actually is. Only then can you decide if the people and things in your life are serving that purpose or not. 

[00:10:32] You must also take the time to get to know yourself, get comfortable with yourself, and get comfortable with the idea of being alone. If you can't do these things, it's likely that you'll keep going back to the same shitty people and or attracting more people of the same kind. So stop entertaining people's bullshit and watch your life change for the better. 

[00:10:56] Number three. Number three, you are with yourself more than anybody else in this life, 24 hours a day. Make sure your thoughts and the way you talk to yourself are positive. 

[00:11:09] You are with yourself more than anybody else in his life, 24 hours a day. Make sure your thoughts and the way you talk to yourself are positive. Now, remember when I said you must get comfortable with yourself. This is what I was talking about.

[00:11:25] Understand that the only person that will be with you from the day you were born until the day you die. That's the person that should get the most love, attention, nourishment, and energy in your life. Now, do not misunderstand me. I'm not saying that you shouldn't be hard on yourself. Part of true love and compassion is doing and saying the things that are difficult and uncomfortable. So if you're a piece of shit, you have to be able to look in the mirror and recognize that. If you can't do that, you won't ever be able to change it and become something better. 

[00:12:01] So this isn't about that fake self-love. This isn't about only saying positive things that make you feel better. This is about acknowledging your flaws, your mistakes, your insecurities, your hatred, your weakness, all the negativity, and shortcomings. You must acknowledge all of it. And then you must focus 100% of your energy on improving those things every single day.. 

[00:12:28] So don't tear yourself down with negativity, but acknowledge the negativity that is inside you. And don't build yourself up with false positivity, but take the actions that will prove that your intentions and direction are positive. That's how you get on the road to a better version of yourself.

[00:12:49] Number four. Number four, accept people for who they are and how they are but place them where they may belong. Accept all people from all walks of life, it will give you a greater perspective. But if they do not serve a greater purpose or add positivity to your life, you may leave them where they stand. 

[00:13:12] All right. Accept people for who they are and how they are, but place them where they belong. So what he means when he says that is... Well, the part about accepting people for who they are and how they are is pretty clear, I imagine. 

[00:13:24] But place them where they belong simply means to put them in the right place. You know, that place might be close to you, that place might be very far away from you, but you need to put them in the right place. All right? 

[00:13:36] Now, accept people from all walks of life. This is an expression that just describes people from different backgrounds. It could be religious backgrounds, cultural backgrounds, ethnic backgrounds. It doesn't matter. If it's a man or a woman, they're black, white, brown, yellow. It doesn't matter. All these people come from different places. They speak different languages, have different beliefs and things like that. They all have a different or come from a different walk of life and you need to be able to accept all of them. That's the idea. 

[00:14:03] Because that will give you a greater perspective and greater perspective just means bigger, more clear, a wider perspective, right? As opposed to a narrow, closed-minded view of the world, by accepting people from all walks of life, you are widening or making your perspective greater, bigger, right? That's the idea. 

[00:14:23] However, if they do not serve a greater purpose or add positivity to your life, you may leave them where they stand. So the last thing I want to explain is serve a greater purpose. We've been talking about that basically this whole episode. 

[00:14:36] So if something serves a greater purpose, basically what we're saying is, it's contributing to that higher purpose that's bigger than yourself. Your life's purpose, what you're really trying to achieve in life.. That's the greater purpose. 

[00:14:49] If it's not serving that, or if this person is not serving that greater purpose, you may leave them where they stand. Leave them behind, leave them to the side, in the past. You do not need to take them with you. There's no obligation to do that. The way I understood his message, that's the idea. You know? 

[00:15:06] And as a young man, I've gone through different stages of understanding when it comes to this particular subject. I really used to think that I could change people. And I never had the idea in my mind to change someone, but I subconsciously believed it was possible. However, believing in an idea like that only brings frustration and disappointment.

[00:15:31] Although I do believe you can influence people, you can never change them. Change is an action that the individual must choose to take. And once you understand that, you'll stop investing time and energy into people who clearly show no intention of investing time and energy into themselves.

[00:15:51] We must also acknowledge the fact that the idea that you can change someone else suggests that you know exactly what is wrong with the person and you know exactly how to fix it. However, that's simply not the case and it never will be. You most likely don't even know what's wrong with yourself or how you're going to make yourself better. So what makes you think that you know everything about someone else and how to make them better? Clean your own room before you talk about how dirty someone else's room is

[00:16:23] After realizing I couldn't change people, I started to think that if I just waited long enough, people would change on their own. “People just need time.” I thought. Although I do believe that change takes time, I do not think it is wise to spend your time waiting for someone or something else to change. That's something you virtually have no control over. So while you're sitting there waiting for another person to change, the minutes, the hours and the days of your life are passing by. Are you sure you want to spend that time waiting for someone else?

[00:17:01] Once I came to this realization, that you can neither change someone nor spend your life waiting for them to change, I arrived at the place I am today. I do not judge people for who they are. I do not try to change who they are. I'm nothing more than an observer. 

[00:17:19] So if you do not try to influence people's thoughts or decisions, and you simply allow them to show you who they are, you maintain the power of pure choice. What do I mean by that? I mean that you can make a truly informed decision about this person because you haven't done anything to influence or change their behavior. 

[00:17:39] You can decide whether or not this person would be a good addition to your life, or if they would just be a waste of time and energy, and you can make that informed decision because you have done nothing more than let them be themselves. No judgment, no influence, no criticism, just observation. 

[00:17:58] So be accepting of all people, within reason, of course. However, remember that accepting someone for who they are is not the same thing as giving them a place of importance in your life. Sometimes you gotta love people from a distance. 

[00:18:16] Remember that you always have the right and sometimes even the obligation to walk away from people or situations that don't serve you or your life's purpose. Remember that your time is better spent on improving yourself and living your life's purpose. 

[00:18:32] Each person and situation in our life is simply an experience. The purpose of an experience is to teach us something and it's our responsibility to learn. If you're not learning from your experiences, you're simply wasting time.

[00:18:46] OUTRO MUSIC

[END OF PODCAST]

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[00:00:00] Here are four things you need to hear today.

[00:00:07] What's up everybody. This is Coffee with Kaizen number 22, and today I'm going to be sharing another thought-provoking clip that I saw online the other day. A man named Avi Wizwar, (sorry if I'm pronouncing your name correctly,) is going to share four things that you need to hear today. 

[00:00:25] Now, the messages in this clip are extremely important, and I think that they're the perfect thing for you to hear on a Monday morning. So like I always say, we're not going to waste any time we're going to get right into this episode. 

[00:00:37] So I'm going to play the clip from start to finish. Then I'll explain any words or phrases just to make sure you understand everything. And after that, I'll share my personal thoughts with you, and that'll be it for this episode. So let's get into it, my friend. Let's do this..

[00:00:56] Here are four things you need to hear today. Number one, the progress that you make throughout life does not need to be seen or validated by anybody else, but you. Understand that the progress that you make and the success that comes with it does not need to be seen or accepted by others. It should only be accepted by yourself, and yourself only. 

[00:01:15] Number two, you are more than capable of walking away from that situation or that relationship. The mind games and the toxic activity come to a close when you stop entertaining it. 

[00:01:25] Number three, you are with yourself more than anybody else in this life, 24 hours a day. Make sure your thoughts and the way you talk to yourself are positive.

[00:01:34] Number four, accept people for who they are and how they are, but place them where they may belong. Accept all people from all walks of life, it will give you a greater perspective. But if they do not serve a greater purpose or add positivity to your life, you may leave them where they stand. 

[00:01:52] All right, y'all. Hopefully, the clip wasn't too challenging for you to understand. But like I said, I'm going to go through and explain any words or phrases that I think might be a little challenging if you're hearing them for the first time, just so you understand everything, and then we will proceed

[00:02:07] So let's go back to thing number one that you need to hear. Number one, the progress that you make throughout life does not need to be seen or validated by anybody else. 

[00:02:19] All right. So the progress that you make throughout life does not need to be seen or validated by anybody else. So there's a couple of things I want to bring to your attention. 

[00:02:28] The first one is the progress. He said the progress that you make. So in English, we make progress. We don't do progress or anything else like that. We make progress. Now there are also times where you can say, ”I'm seeing progress.” just like I'm witnessing or observing the progress, but in terms of the action, we make progress. Okay. I'm sure that makes sense or I hope that makes sense to you. 

[00:02:52] So after that, he says the progress that you make throughout life. Now, I've already made an episode about this on Life in English, about, um, through, throughout though, et cetera. So you should know what the word throughout means and how to use it. But just in case you haven't heard that episode.. When he says throughout, in this case, T H R O U G H O U T. That's a long word, throughout. What he's saying is he's referring to the duration of your life. So if I say throughout life, I'm talking about the entire duration of your life, from start to finish. All that time in between the start and the finish. Okay? 

[00:03:29] So the progress that you make throughout life does not need to be seen. Or validated by anyone else. So the last thing I want to bring to your attention is validated by. Validated just means basically having the value of something confirmed, right? That's not the textbook definition. I don't have that in front of me, but that's the basic idea of the word.

[00:03:48] So when we say validated by anybody else, that's our way of expressing an action being done... Not... I can't say it in a different way, not by you, but by someone else. I really can't find another word to express that. So when we say validated by someone else, we don't say validated for someone else or validated with or any other preposition. Things are validated by other people. Man, I hope that makes sense. 

[00:04:15] But now let's get into my own personal thoughts and opinions about this first... I don't know if it's a tip, but this idea, this thing that we really need to hear, not just today, but on a regular basis, right? 

[00:04:27] This one is important because for better or for worse, it has become common practice to share every moment of every day of our lives with the world.

[00:04:36] “If I don't share it online, then it didn't really happen.” That's the mentality that a lot of people have adopted these days. And the truth is not only do most people not give a single fuck about you or your life experience, but most people don't want to see you succeed anyway. Progress, success, and greatness threaten the fragile egos of the people who are fully aware that they're not doing anything productive with their own lives.

[00:05:05] When they see you trying to do better or even just do something different, their natural instinct will be to try and tear you down, criticize you and make you feel insecure. So, although you may feel the urge to share your growth, your light, your positivity with others, just remember that you are not for everyone.

[00:05:27] Your highs and lows are personal experiences, and you certainly should not be getting personal with anyone and everyone you meet. Your daily struggle is just that, yours. And it doesn't need to be shared with the world in order for it to be validated. 

[00:05:46] So, number two. Number two, you are more than capable of walking away from that situation or that relationship. The mind games and the toxic activity come to a close when you stop entertaining it.

[00:06:00] So I'm just going to repeat what he said. You are more than capable of walking away from that situation or that relationship. The mind games and the toxic activity come to a close when you stop entertaining it. 

[00:06:12] So the first thing I want to explain is more than capable, 'cause capable in this case is functioning like an adjective, right? You are capable. So when we say more than capable, that's our way of expressing that you have this capacity for something and then some. 

[00:06:29] So let's say you need five points to be considered capable, but you have 50 points. So you are more than capable. You have more than what is necessary to do or to say this particular thing. That's our way of expressing that. You are more than capable of walking away from that situation or that relationship. You have more than what is necessary. You see? 

[00:06:52] So, next is walking away from, I believe I talked about this in the last episode, but to walk away from, in this context, is more of a figurative thing. To walk away from a situation or a relationship basically means to leave it behind, leave it in the past. It's no longer your concern or your responsibility is not getting your attention or importance anymore. You have walked away from it, the same way you would physically walk away from something that you did not want to be close to anymore. That's the idea. 

[00:07:19] All right. So the mind games and the toxic activity come to a close. The first thing, mind games. This, maybe you can understand this just by hearing it, but when we say mind games, it's the psychological games that people try to play with you in order to manipulate you. That's a mind game. Something that they're doing, they have some psychological tactic to get inside your head and do what they want you to do or think what they want you to think. 

[00:07:45] Now the toxic activity, I'm sure you've heard the word toxic, you know, over the last year, maybe two. It's become a really popular word, even though it's overused. Toxic activity is just... toxic is something that is just not good for you. Think of it as poison. Poison is toxic. It can kill you. 

[00:08:04] So any toxic chemical or material is something that can or has the ability to kill you. Can potentially kill you. So toxic activity is just shit that is not good for your mental health. It's not good for your physical health. It's a waste of time, makes you miserable. That's toxic activity. Shit that's just really not good for you. 

[00:08:23] So the mind games and the toxic activity come to a close when you stop entertaining them. So to come to a close. What he means when he said, when he says that is it ends. If something comes to a close, that means it comes to an end. It finishes. It's over. Okay. It's kind of a formal way of saying to end or to finish, right? The movie has come to a close. I'm almost certain, we would never say that, but it does make sense. It just means the movie has ended. The story has come to a close. The games, the toxic activity come to a close, they end when you stop entertaining them.

[00:08:56] So to entertain in this context, doesn't mean to make somebody laugh and make them have a good time. That's one way of saying, or using the word entertain. But in this case to entertain an idea or a person or an activity means to give it a chance to entertain you, right? You're giving it time and attention and energy and focus. You're entertaining it. 

[00:09:18] It's probably not the best explanation of the word, so I just found the definition in the dictionary. And to entertain in this context is to give attention or consideration to an idea, a suggestion, or a feeling. And I would also say a person. Okay. So it just means to give attention or consideration to. That's the idea. So when you stop doing that, giving attention and consideration to toxic activity, to mind games, to manipulative people, all that shit comes to an end. That's the idea. 

[00:09:45] And this one really is about self-respect. You know, you might be surprised by how much time you waste on people and situations that aren't bringing any real value to your life. You might be ashamed of yourself if you took a step back to really see how much energy, attention, and importance you're giving to people who want nothing more than to manipulate you, play games with you, and use you like a tool or a child's toy. 

[00:10:10] You'll see a real positive change in your life once you gain the self-respect and courage you must have in order to walk away from people and things that don't serve your life purpose. But here's the catch, you must decide what your life purpose actually is. Only then can you decide if the people and things in your life are serving that purpose or not. 

[00:10:32] You must also take the time to get to know yourself, get comfortable with yourself, and get comfortable with the idea of being alone. If you can't do these things, it's likely that you'll keep going back to the same shitty people and or attracting more people of the same kind. So stop entertaining people's bullshit and watch your life change for the better. 

[00:10:56] Number three. Number three, you are with yourself more than anybody else in this life, 24 hours a day. Make sure your thoughts and the way you talk to yourself are positive. 

[00:11:09] You are with yourself more than anybody else in his life, 24 hours a day. Make sure your thoughts and the way you talk to yourself are positive. Now, remember when I said you must get comfortable with yourself. This is what I was talking about.

[00:11:25] Understand that the only person that will be with you from the day you were born until the day you die. That's the person that should get the most love, attention, nourishment, and energy in your life. Now, do not misunderstand me. I'm not saying that you shouldn't be hard on yourself. Part of true love and compassion is doing and saying the things that are difficult and uncomfortable. So if you're a piece of shit, you have to be able to look in the mirror and recognize that. If you can't do that, you won't ever be able to change it and become something better. 

[00:12:01] So this isn't about that fake self-love. This isn't about only saying positive things that make you feel better. This is about acknowledging your flaws, your mistakes, your insecurities, your hatred, your weakness, all the negativity, and shortcomings. You must acknowledge all of it. And then you must focus 100% of your energy on improving those things every single day.. 

[00:12:28] So don't tear yourself down with negativity, but acknowledge the negativity that is inside you. And don't build yourself up with false positivity, but take the actions that will prove that your intentions and direction are positive. That's how you get on the road to a better version of yourself.

[00:12:49] Number four. Number four, accept people for who they are and how they are but place them where they may belong. Accept all people from all walks of life, it will give you a greater perspective. But if they do not serve a greater purpose or add positivity to your life, you may leave them where they stand. 

[00:13:12] All right. Accept people for who they are and how they are, but place them where they belong. So what he means when he says that is... Well, the part about accepting people for who they are and how they are is pretty clear, I imagine. 

[00:13:24] But place them where they belong simply means to put them in the right place. You know, that place might be close to you, that place might be very far away from you, but you need to put them in the right place. All right? 

[00:13:36] Now, accept people from all walks of life. This is an expression that just describes people from different backgrounds. It could be religious backgrounds, cultural backgrounds, ethnic backgrounds. It doesn't matter. If it's a man or a woman, they're black, white, brown, yellow. It doesn't matter. All these people come from different places. They speak different languages, have different beliefs and things like that. They all have a different or come from a different walk of life and you need to be able to accept all of them. That's the idea. 

[00:14:03] Because that will give you a greater perspective and greater perspective just means bigger, more clear, a wider perspective, right? As opposed to a narrow, closed-minded view of the world, by accepting people from all walks of life, you are widening or making your perspective greater, bigger, right? That's the idea. 

[00:14:23] However, if they do not serve a greater purpose or add positivity to your life, you may leave them where they stand. So the last thing I want to explain is serve a greater purpose. We've been talking about that basically this whole episode. 

[00:14:36] So if something serves a greater purpose, basically what we're saying is, it's contributing to that higher purpose that's bigger than yourself. Your life's purpose, what you're really trying to achieve in life.. That's the greater purpose. 

[00:14:49] If it's not serving that, or if this person is not serving that greater purpose, you may leave them where they stand. Leave them behind, leave them to the side, in the past. You do not need to take them with you. There's no obligation to do that. The way I understood his message, that's the idea. You know? 

[00:15:06] And as a young man, I've gone through different stages of understanding when it comes to this particular subject. I really used to think that I could change people. And I never had the idea in my mind to change someone, but I subconsciously believed it was possible. However, believing in an idea like that only brings frustration and disappointment.

[00:15:31] Although I do believe you can influence people, you can never change them. Change is an action that the individual must choose to take. And once you understand that, you'll stop investing time and energy into people who clearly show no intention of investing time and energy into themselves.

[00:15:51] We must also acknowledge the fact that the idea that you can change someone else suggests that you know exactly what is wrong with the person and you know exactly how to fix it. However, that's simply not the case and it never will be. You most likely don't even know what's wrong with yourself or how you're going to make yourself better. So what makes you think that you know everything about someone else and how to make them better? Clean your own room before you talk about how dirty someone else's room is

[00:16:23] After realizing I couldn't change people, I started to think that if I just waited long enough, people would change on their own. “People just need time.” I thought. Although I do believe that change takes time, I do not think it is wise to spend your time waiting for someone or something else to change. That's something you virtually have no control over. So while you're sitting there waiting for another person to change, the minutes, the hours and the days of your life are passing by. Are you sure you want to spend that time waiting for someone else?

[00:17:01] Once I came to this realization, that you can neither change someone nor spend your life waiting for them to change, I arrived at the place I am today. I do not judge people for who they are. I do not try to change who they are. I'm nothing more than an observer. 

[00:17:19] So if you do not try to influence people's thoughts or decisions, and you simply allow them to show you who they are, you maintain the power of pure choice. What do I mean by that? I mean that you can make a truly informed decision about this person because you haven't done anything to influence or change their behavior. 

[00:17:39] You can decide whether or not this person would be a good addition to your life, or if they would just be a waste of time and energy, and you can make that informed decision because you have done nothing more than let them be themselves. No judgment, no influence, no criticism, just observation. 

[00:17:58] So be accepting of all people, within reason, of course. However, remember that accepting someone for who they are is not the same thing as giving them a place of importance in your life. Sometimes you gotta love people from a distance. 

[00:18:16] Remember that you always have the right and sometimes even the obligation to walk away from people or situations that don't serve you or your life's purpose. Remember that your time is better spent on improving yourself and living your life's purpose. 

[00:18:32] Each person and situation in our life is simply an experience. The purpose of an experience is to teach us something and it's our responsibility to learn. If you're not learning from your experiences, you're simply wasting time.

[00:18:46] OUTRO MUSIC

[END OF PODCAST]

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