CK #34 - Talk to Children

April 8, 2022

It pays to have your finger on the pulse of the next generation.

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[00:00:01] What's up, my friend? This is Coffee with Kaizen number 34. And the title of this episode will most likely be "talk to children". And I feel some type of way about that title "talk to children". It sounds kind of weird, right? If somebody said, "Hey, stranger. Talk to kids". If somebody said that to you, you'd be like, Bro, what the fuck? What you mean? But I mean exactly what I say. You should talk to children. I'm here today to talk about why you should talk to more children more often. Because I was watching my nephew play PlayStation a couple of weeks ago, and it was just so fascinating to me to hear the way he talks to his friends, you know, their slang and their expressions and all that type of stuff.

[00:00:46] Because, I mean, you know, like older people, teenagers, and children, we all have our own way of talking, even if we speak the same language. And the next generation always innovates, right? In many different ways in fashion, music, business, I mean, all kinds of things. But particularly language, right? The next generation invents their own slang and expressions and they have their own way of interacting with each other and stuff like that that we as adults or older people might not totally understand or be familiar with. Right? And a lot of times in general, a lot of adults think about children as if children and babies are the same thing. Because a baby is like this adorable, cute, little, helpless human being. And it's, you know, it's so cute. They don't understand half the stuff that you're saying and they don't understand anything about how life works, how society works, and all these things.

[00:01:44] So there are certain things you can't talk about them or excuse me, there are certain things you can't talk about with them because they just won't comprehend and they won't be able to even express themselves to you. But a kid, you know, eight years old, nine years old, twelve years old, you can talk to these people, you know? And a lot of people look at kids these age as if they're just silly little kids. They don't know anything. They don't understand life. We can't talk about anything interesting. We can't have an intelligent conversation. It's just a kid. But I completely disagree, man. I completely disagree. I mean, in my experience, if you give kids the chance a lot of times they might surprise you. A lot of kids know a lot more than you give them credit for. A lot of kids understand a lot more than you give them credit for, you know? 

[00:02:40] And even if they don't, you can teach them. That's the point. Because at nine years old, in most cases, a kid is out of place mentally, linguistically... Where you can teach them complex things. You can have mature conversations. You can talk to them like adults if you really want to. That's what I prefer to do. I don't like talking to kids as if they're babies. Like, Hey, how you doing? You're so cute. Good to see you. You want to play a game? You want some candy? I hate... I shouldn't say 'hate', that's a strong word. But I just don't understand why people talk to children like that. That shit isn't cute. It's not funny. It doesn't help in any way. The more you treat a child like a baby, the more they feel they should act like a baby. You know what I'm saying? I just never understood that.

[00:03:26] Whereas if you talk to a kid the same way you would talk to an adult, in my experience, the kid will elevate intellectually or they will mature faster. And some people think that's not, that's not a good thing. Some people think that you should let kids be kids. You shouldn't be trying to get them to mature faster. You shouldn't be introducing these complex or adult-like subjects to them because they just need to enjoy their childhood. And that's true. You should let kids be kids and enjoy their childhood. But at the end of the day, our job as adults is to prepare them for adulthood. Eventually, they're going to be adults, right? So at what age do you decide to start treating a kid like an adult? Is it 15? 18, 21? I mean, what's the age? I don't know.

[00:04:20] But anyway, getting back to what I was saying. I was listening to my nephew talk to his friends, and it was just so fascinating, man, how they got their own slang and expressions. And even like, in a group of friends that are eight or nine years old, they just naturally create their own little hierarchy. There's like, a "leader" in the group, and each member in the group has their own personality and stuff like that. It's just interesting. It's interesting. Any group of people, regardless of the age, but particularly kids, when you can see those adult-like traits or you can see some of the same behavior that we display as adults, it's kind of funny. It's interesting.

[00:04:57] And I just think there's so many reasons that you should talk to children. So sticking with the language aspect, just by talking to children, you get more familiar with the new slang, the new expressions like, and you also get to have your finger on the pulse of the next generation. And when I say "you have your finger on the pulse", I'm saying like, you are directly involved in whatever this thing is. So if I have my finger on the pulse of the music industry, it means that I'm deeply involved in it. And I know exactly what's happening. I know what's happening right now and I know what's about to happen. Right? I'm updated or I'm a... What's the word? Damn, I can't think of the expression. But I know what's going on. I'm tapped in. I'm plugged in. I'm connected, you know? I'm not oblivious to what's going on. I'm not an outsider or something like that.

[00:05:52] So I guess the opposite of having your finger on the pulse would be being out of touch. Because to be out of touch with something or someone means like, it's so distant from you, metaphorically, that you don't know anything about it or understand it. If I'm out of touch, it means I don't really know about that. It's like, What? You didn't see the new movie? You didn't hear that new song? You didn't see that performance? Like, Nah, man, I'm kind of out of touch with that type of stuff. Which means I don't really know what goes on in that world. I'm not connected. I have no idea. Right? That's what it means to be out of touch. So the opposite, I guess, is to have your finger on the pulse, which is, you know, I know exactly what's going on. I'm plugged in. I'm aware of what's happening, you know? 

[00:06:33] So when you talk to kids, you have your finger on the pulse of the next generation. You know what they're thinking about. You know what they talk about. You know what's important to them. You see what I'm saying? You need to talk to kids, right? Because they're the future. The next generation is the future. And in my experience, it's much better to understand what's coming next than it is to reject or put down or diminish what's coming next. That's what a lot of people do like I was saying, when they think about kids, they're like, Oh, it's just some silly little kid. He doesn't know shit. It's like, bro, that silly little kid one day we'll be taking care of you. You're going to be old one day. You won't be able to work or take care of yourself. And the next generation is the group of people that's going to support society. That's us right now. In the future is going to be them.

[00:07:24] So I don't see any advantage to not being connected to what's coming next, to not understanding what's coming next. That's in general with technology, with business, with the economy, with education, whatever. But in this case, kids. They're the future, you know? I had to take a sip of my coffee real quick. It's Coffee with Kaizen, by the way. But yeah, man. They're the future. You have to talk to kids. You really do. For so many reasons. I also think you have to talk to kids because a lot of kids, in my experience, especially these days, don't get listened to anymore. I can't say any more like that was the case in the past and it's not now. Because I don't feel like I was listened to as a kid. I feel like most kids in general aren't listened to by adults or talked to by adults.

[00:08:22] But these days a lot of adults will just hand their kids a tablet or smartphone or the TV remote and say, "Go over there. Be quiet. Leave me alone. Don't make any noise for 2 hours". Or a lot of parents don't sit down and talk with their kids on a regular basis. Just talk about life. My parents never did that shit. Never. Not once did we sit down and just talk about life or anything like that. What I was thinking about, what I was going through. Nothing. Nothing. And I just think you need to talk to kids, man. You need to understand how they think and what's important to them. And I think when you talk to a kid and more importantly, you listen to a kid, you're showing them respect and you're showing them that they're important and that you value what they have to say. You're interested in what they have to say.

[00:09:13] And that makes, I think it makes the kid want to talk more. That's how you gain the trust of a kid and they really start to communicate with you so you can really know what's going on in their head and inside their live and... inside their life, excuse me. I just think that's a really important thing to do because a lot of kids have a lot of thoughts and feelings and they're confused about a lot of things as they grow up. A lot of things they don't understand. A lot of things they go through and they don't know why. And a lot of times they don't really have anyone to talk to about it, or they might not think that anyone could ever understand them.

[00:09:49] So by talking to them and listening to them, you might be able to help them in that area, you know? You might be able to teach them many things or explain very simple things to them that they couldn't understand. You can better prepare them for what's coming next because whether we all like it or not, they're not going to be kids forever. So by talking to them consistently, staying in contact with them, it's almost like you're a mentor. You know? In a way, that's what parents are. You are your child's mentor, responsible for helping them grow and develop as humans. And you can't do that if you're not talking to them, if you're not having conversations with them.

[00:10:30] So yeah, man. It's just something to think about. You can learn so much from talking to kids. The same way you can, like a lot of people will show elders respect. Older people, your grandparents, great grandparents... A lot of people will just naturally show them respect like, they've been through a lot. They've lived a full life. They're so wise. They can teach me so much. They've been where I am right now and they've been where I want to be, so I'm going to listen to them. You ever notice that? You show older people so much more respect and admiration, and you give them so much more attention. You listen so much more attentively to an older person who seems wise, but you won't show that same respect to a child because it's just a silly kid. He doesn't know shit. I just don't think that's the right mentality to have.

[00:11:21] Kids can teach you so much. Their perspective is different, you know? Everyone's perspective. And really this... the title of this episode should be "talk to people", right? But I was just thinking about my nephew and how children specifically don't get talked to or listened to as much as adults. So yeah, man, you can learn a lot by talking to kids. You can help kids by talking to them. Because I don't know about you, but I know what it feels like to be a kid and have no one to talk to. Nobody understands. Nobody can explain anything to me. Nobody listens to me or nothing like that. It's not a good feeling, man. It has a negative effect on a kid and the way they develop, you know? 

[00:12:10] So I didn't take any notes or write anything down for this episode. I think if I would have taken more time to prepare, then I could have given you like, a logical order and, you know, clear points that I wanted to touch on as reasons why you should talk to children. But I'm kind of just rambling here. I think I've got my point across, right? Because at the end of the day, there's many reasons to talk to kids. You can have your finger on the pulse of the next generation and understand what's important to them, understand the way they talk, the slang that they use, and you know, what they want for their future. And maybe you can even help them prepare themselves to get what they want in the future. You can't do that without talking to them. And you can't do that without listen... The title of this episode should be "listen to children", not talk to them. And to listen to them.

[00:12:57] Especially today, because like a lot of... It's crazy to me how so many parents will give their child a smartphone at six years old, seven years old, eight, twelve years old. What the fuck does a kid need a smartphone for? What is he going to call? Nobody. He's going to get on these fucking apps, these websites or whatever, social media. He's got the world in his hands. And he has no idea how to process all that information. Now you can put child locks and, you know, security codes on certain websites or apps and shit like that. You can try your hardest to make sure they can't access certain things, but even still. I don't know. It's just... To me, it's a little dangerous.

[00:13:44] So now more than ever, we need to talk to kids about what they're consuming, what they've seen, what they're thinking about. Because if you're not talking to your kids, somebody else certainly is talking to your kids. And that's fine. Like, I think it's kind of weird to me as well that a lot of parents won't let their children talk to strangers. Now, of course, we know that there are many dangers of letting kids talk to strangers, but as long as they're supervised, I don't see the problem. They need to be exposed to other adults, other kids, other ways of thinking, other cultures, other lifestyles, philosophies, all that. They need to be exposed to that as early as possible.

[00:14:19] But as the parent or the big brother or sister, as the aunt or uncle or whatever, I still think it's our responsibility to talk to them as well. About all the stuff that they're consuming, about all the stuff that they're experiencing. Because at the end of the day, life is life. Being a kid is being a kid. Being an adult is being an adult. I don't think that's ever going to change. However, times have changed. Being a kid today isn't necessarily the same thing as being a kid 20 years ago or 40 years ago, or 60 years ago. Things have changed. And we have to talk about those changes, I think. We have to have our finger on the pulse of society, of the next generation because that's the future. You know? So that's one reason. But also, I think kids can teach you so much, you know? Because their perspective is so different.

[00:15:15] And just because they're young doesn't mean that they can't teach you something or see the same situation in a better way or a more productive way or more advantageous way. You just never know. So that's another reason. And because I think kids are getting talked to by the ones closest to them a lot less and they're being listened to a lot less. And I could be wrong. Just the impression I have. But, I know what it feels like, and I'm sure... I don't know. But I imagine you know what it feels like. To not be listened to or valued or respected or... Or any of that. I'm sure you know what it feels like. Like, Man, I wish I had somebody to talk to. Somebody that would listen, somebody that would understand. Kids feel like that every day. Adults feel like that, shit. Adults feel like that. But our time has gone. We're not kids anymore, right? But we can make sure that the next generation doesn't have to feel that way or go through that. Just by talking and listening to them, you know? 

[00:16:26] So anyway, I'm sure I've got my point across and give you a couple things to think about, a couple of reasons you should talk to kids a lot more. The reasons you should listen to kids a lot more. I'm not going to keep rambling or keep you here any longer, my friend. I just wanted to share that idea with you and encourage you. Talk to kids more. Show them the same respect that you would show an adult. Show them the same, let's say, patience and courtesy that you would show an elder that you respect. Just watch the difference. Watch what happens. Start talking to kids the same way you talk to any other adult. Start having those kinds of conversations and watch what happens. And let me know what happens. I'm very curious.

[00:17:13] But, I guess that's a good place to cut it, man. This is Coffee with Kaizen number 34. My name is Tony Kaizen, and I'm reminding you to talk to kids and more importantly, listen to your kids. All right? But that's it for now, my friend. Hopefully, you enjoyed this episode and it gave you some things to think about. And more podcast episodes coming soon, my friend. Thank you so much for being a member of the Life in English community, man. You have no idea how much I appreciate you and your support and you being a part of this community. So, yeah. That's it for now, man. Coffee with Kaizen number 34 in the books and I will talk to you later. Peace!

[END OF EPISODE]

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[00:00:01] What's up, my friend? This is Coffee with Kaizen number 34. And the title of this episode will most likely be "talk to children". And I feel some type of way about that title "talk to children". It sounds kind of weird, right? If somebody said, "Hey, stranger. Talk to kids". If somebody said that to you, you'd be like, Bro, what the fuck? What you mean? But I mean exactly what I say. You should talk to children. I'm here today to talk about why you should talk to more children more often. Because I was watching my nephew play PlayStation a couple of weeks ago, and it was just so fascinating to me to hear the way he talks to his friends, you know, their slang and their expressions and all that type of stuff.

[00:00:46] Because, I mean, you know, like older people, teenagers, and children, we all have our own way of talking, even if we speak the same language. And the next generation always innovates, right? In many different ways in fashion, music, business, I mean, all kinds of things. But particularly language, right? The next generation invents their own slang and expressions and they have their own way of interacting with each other and stuff like that that we as adults or older people might not totally understand or be familiar with. Right? And a lot of times in general, a lot of adults think about children as if children and babies are the same thing. Because a baby is like this adorable, cute, little, helpless human being. And it's, you know, it's so cute. They don't understand half the stuff that you're saying and they don't understand anything about how life works, how society works, and all these things.

[00:01:44] So there are certain things you can't talk about them or excuse me, there are certain things you can't talk about with them because they just won't comprehend and they won't be able to even express themselves to you. But a kid, you know, eight years old, nine years old, twelve years old, you can talk to these people, you know? And a lot of people look at kids these age as if they're just silly little kids. They don't know anything. They don't understand life. We can't talk about anything interesting. We can't have an intelligent conversation. It's just a kid. But I completely disagree, man. I completely disagree. I mean, in my experience, if you give kids the chance a lot of times they might surprise you. A lot of kids know a lot more than you give them credit for. A lot of kids understand a lot more than you give them credit for, you know? 

[00:02:40] And even if they don't, you can teach them. That's the point. Because at nine years old, in most cases, a kid is out of place mentally, linguistically... Where you can teach them complex things. You can have mature conversations. You can talk to them like adults if you really want to. That's what I prefer to do. I don't like talking to kids as if they're babies. Like, Hey, how you doing? You're so cute. Good to see you. You want to play a game? You want some candy? I hate... I shouldn't say 'hate', that's a strong word. But I just don't understand why people talk to children like that. That shit isn't cute. It's not funny. It doesn't help in any way. The more you treat a child like a baby, the more they feel they should act like a baby. You know what I'm saying? I just never understood that.

[00:03:26] Whereas if you talk to a kid the same way you would talk to an adult, in my experience, the kid will elevate intellectually or they will mature faster. And some people think that's not, that's not a good thing. Some people think that you should let kids be kids. You shouldn't be trying to get them to mature faster. You shouldn't be introducing these complex or adult-like subjects to them because they just need to enjoy their childhood. And that's true. You should let kids be kids and enjoy their childhood. But at the end of the day, our job as adults is to prepare them for adulthood. Eventually, they're going to be adults, right? So at what age do you decide to start treating a kid like an adult? Is it 15? 18, 21? I mean, what's the age? I don't know.

[00:04:20] But anyway, getting back to what I was saying. I was listening to my nephew talk to his friends, and it was just so fascinating, man, how they got their own slang and expressions. And even like, in a group of friends that are eight or nine years old, they just naturally create their own little hierarchy. There's like, a "leader" in the group, and each member in the group has their own personality and stuff like that. It's just interesting. It's interesting. Any group of people, regardless of the age, but particularly kids, when you can see those adult-like traits or you can see some of the same behavior that we display as adults, it's kind of funny. It's interesting.

[00:04:57] And I just think there's so many reasons that you should talk to children. So sticking with the language aspect, just by talking to children, you get more familiar with the new slang, the new expressions like, and you also get to have your finger on the pulse of the next generation. And when I say "you have your finger on the pulse", I'm saying like, you are directly involved in whatever this thing is. So if I have my finger on the pulse of the music industry, it means that I'm deeply involved in it. And I know exactly what's happening. I know what's happening right now and I know what's about to happen. Right? I'm updated or I'm a... What's the word? Damn, I can't think of the expression. But I know what's going on. I'm tapped in. I'm plugged in. I'm connected, you know? I'm not oblivious to what's going on. I'm not an outsider or something like that.

[00:05:52] So I guess the opposite of having your finger on the pulse would be being out of touch. Because to be out of touch with something or someone means like, it's so distant from you, metaphorically, that you don't know anything about it or understand it. If I'm out of touch, it means I don't really know about that. It's like, What? You didn't see the new movie? You didn't hear that new song? You didn't see that performance? Like, Nah, man, I'm kind of out of touch with that type of stuff. Which means I don't really know what goes on in that world. I'm not connected. I have no idea. Right? That's what it means to be out of touch. So the opposite, I guess, is to have your finger on the pulse, which is, you know, I know exactly what's going on. I'm plugged in. I'm aware of what's happening, you know? 

[00:06:33] So when you talk to kids, you have your finger on the pulse of the next generation. You know what they're thinking about. You know what they talk about. You know what's important to them. You see what I'm saying? You need to talk to kids, right? Because they're the future. The next generation is the future. And in my experience, it's much better to understand what's coming next than it is to reject or put down or diminish what's coming next. That's what a lot of people do like I was saying, when they think about kids, they're like, Oh, it's just some silly little kid. He doesn't know shit. It's like, bro, that silly little kid one day we'll be taking care of you. You're going to be old one day. You won't be able to work or take care of yourself. And the next generation is the group of people that's going to support society. That's us right now. In the future is going to be them.

[00:07:24] So I don't see any advantage to not being connected to what's coming next, to not understanding what's coming next. That's in general with technology, with business, with the economy, with education, whatever. But in this case, kids. They're the future, you know? I had to take a sip of my coffee real quick. It's Coffee with Kaizen, by the way. But yeah, man. They're the future. You have to talk to kids. You really do. For so many reasons. I also think you have to talk to kids because a lot of kids, in my experience, especially these days, don't get listened to anymore. I can't say any more like that was the case in the past and it's not now. Because I don't feel like I was listened to as a kid. I feel like most kids in general aren't listened to by adults or talked to by adults.

[00:08:22] But these days a lot of adults will just hand their kids a tablet or smartphone or the TV remote and say, "Go over there. Be quiet. Leave me alone. Don't make any noise for 2 hours". Or a lot of parents don't sit down and talk with their kids on a regular basis. Just talk about life. My parents never did that shit. Never. Not once did we sit down and just talk about life or anything like that. What I was thinking about, what I was going through. Nothing. Nothing. And I just think you need to talk to kids, man. You need to understand how they think and what's important to them. And I think when you talk to a kid and more importantly, you listen to a kid, you're showing them respect and you're showing them that they're important and that you value what they have to say. You're interested in what they have to say.

[00:09:13] And that makes, I think it makes the kid want to talk more. That's how you gain the trust of a kid and they really start to communicate with you so you can really know what's going on in their head and inside their live and... inside their life, excuse me. I just think that's a really important thing to do because a lot of kids have a lot of thoughts and feelings and they're confused about a lot of things as they grow up. A lot of things they don't understand. A lot of things they go through and they don't know why. And a lot of times they don't really have anyone to talk to about it, or they might not think that anyone could ever understand them.

[00:09:49] So by talking to them and listening to them, you might be able to help them in that area, you know? You might be able to teach them many things or explain very simple things to them that they couldn't understand. You can better prepare them for what's coming next because whether we all like it or not, they're not going to be kids forever. So by talking to them consistently, staying in contact with them, it's almost like you're a mentor. You know? In a way, that's what parents are. You are your child's mentor, responsible for helping them grow and develop as humans. And you can't do that if you're not talking to them, if you're not having conversations with them.

[00:10:30] So yeah, man. It's just something to think about. You can learn so much from talking to kids. The same way you can, like a lot of people will show elders respect. Older people, your grandparents, great grandparents... A lot of people will just naturally show them respect like, they've been through a lot. They've lived a full life. They're so wise. They can teach me so much. They've been where I am right now and they've been where I want to be, so I'm going to listen to them. You ever notice that? You show older people so much more respect and admiration, and you give them so much more attention. You listen so much more attentively to an older person who seems wise, but you won't show that same respect to a child because it's just a silly kid. He doesn't know shit. I just don't think that's the right mentality to have.

[00:11:21] Kids can teach you so much. Their perspective is different, you know? Everyone's perspective. And really this... the title of this episode should be "talk to people", right? But I was just thinking about my nephew and how children specifically don't get talked to or listened to as much as adults. So yeah, man, you can learn a lot by talking to kids. You can help kids by talking to them. Because I don't know about you, but I know what it feels like to be a kid and have no one to talk to. Nobody understands. Nobody can explain anything to me. Nobody listens to me or nothing like that. It's not a good feeling, man. It has a negative effect on a kid and the way they develop, you know? 

[00:12:10] So I didn't take any notes or write anything down for this episode. I think if I would have taken more time to prepare, then I could have given you like, a logical order and, you know, clear points that I wanted to touch on as reasons why you should talk to children. But I'm kind of just rambling here. I think I've got my point across, right? Because at the end of the day, there's many reasons to talk to kids. You can have your finger on the pulse of the next generation and understand what's important to them, understand the way they talk, the slang that they use, and you know, what they want for their future. And maybe you can even help them prepare themselves to get what they want in the future. You can't do that without talking to them. And you can't do that without listen... The title of this episode should be "listen to children", not talk to them. And to listen to them.

[00:12:57] Especially today, because like a lot of... It's crazy to me how so many parents will give their child a smartphone at six years old, seven years old, eight, twelve years old. What the fuck does a kid need a smartphone for? What is he going to call? Nobody. He's going to get on these fucking apps, these websites or whatever, social media. He's got the world in his hands. And he has no idea how to process all that information. Now you can put child locks and, you know, security codes on certain websites or apps and shit like that. You can try your hardest to make sure they can't access certain things, but even still. I don't know. It's just... To me, it's a little dangerous.

[00:13:44] So now more than ever, we need to talk to kids about what they're consuming, what they've seen, what they're thinking about. Because if you're not talking to your kids, somebody else certainly is talking to your kids. And that's fine. Like, I think it's kind of weird to me as well that a lot of parents won't let their children talk to strangers. Now, of course, we know that there are many dangers of letting kids talk to strangers, but as long as they're supervised, I don't see the problem. They need to be exposed to other adults, other kids, other ways of thinking, other cultures, other lifestyles, philosophies, all that. They need to be exposed to that as early as possible.

[00:14:19] But as the parent or the big brother or sister, as the aunt or uncle or whatever, I still think it's our responsibility to talk to them as well. About all the stuff that they're consuming, about all the stuff that they're experiencing. Because at the end of the day, life is life. Being a kid is being a kid. Being an adult is being an adult. I don't think that's ever going to change. However, times have changed. Being a kid today isn't necessarily the same thing as being a kid 20 years ago or 40 years ago, or 60 years ago. Things have changed. And we have to talk about those changes, I think. We have to have our finger on the pulse of society, of the next generation because that's the future. You know? So that's one reason. But also, I think kids can teach you so much, you know? Because their perspective is so different.

[00:15:15] And just because they're young doesn't mean that they can't teach you something or see the same situation in a better way or a more productive way or more advantageous way. You just never know. So that's another reason. And because I think kids are getting talked to by the ones closest to them a lot less and they're being listened to a lot less. And I could be wrong. Just the impression I have. But, I know what it feels like, and I'm sure... I don't know. But I imagine you know what it feels like. To not be listened to or valued or respected or... Or any of that. I'm sure you know what it feels like. Like, Man, I wish I had somebody to talk to. Somebody that would listen, somebody that would understand. Kids feel like that every day. Adults feel like that, shit. Adults feel like that. But our time has gone. We're not kids anymore, right? But we can make sure that the next generation doesn't have to feel that way or go through that. Just by talking and listening to them, you know? 

[00:16:26] So anyway, I'm sure I've got my point across and give you a couple things to think about, a couple of reasons you should talk to kids a lot more. The reasons you should listen to kids a lot more. I'm not going to keep rambling or keep you here any longer, my friend. I just wanted to share that idea with you and encourage you. Talk to kids more. Show them the same respect that you would show an adult. Show them the same, let's say, patience and courtesy that you would show an elder that you respect. Just watch the difference. Watch what happens. Start talking to kids the same way you talk to any other adult. Start having those kinds of conversations and watch what happens. And let me know what happens. I'm very curious.

[00:17:13] But, I guess that's a good place to cut it, man. This is Coffee with Kaizen number 34. My name is Tony Kaizen, and I'm reminding you to talk to kids and more importantly, listen to your kids. All right? But that's it for now, my friend. Hopefully, you enjoyed this episode and it gave you some things to think about. And more podcast episodes coming soon, my friend. Thank you so much for being a member of the Life in English community, man. You have no idea how much I appreciate you and your support and you being a part of this community. So, yeah. That's it for now, man. Coffee with Kaizen number 34 in the books and I will talk to you later. Peace!

[END OF EPISODE]

Writing prompts

  • Do you want to have children? Why or why not?
  • Have you ever had to have a difficult conversation with a child? How was it? What did you talk about?
  • What are some things you think all adults can or should learn from children?
  • Do you have a close relationship with your parents? What did they talk to you about when you were a kid?
  • What are some differences between the way adults and children communicate in general?
Key Vocabulary & Grammar Guide
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Key Vocabulary Guide

Transcript

[00:00:01] What's up, my friend? This is Coffee with Kaizen number 34. And the title of this episode will most likely be "talk to children". And I feel some type of way about that title "talk to children". It sounds kind of weird, right? If somebody said, "Hey, stranger. Talk to kids". If somebody said that to you, you'd be like, Bro, what the fuck? What you mean? But I mean exactly what I say. You should talk to children. I'm here today to talk about why you should talk to more children more often. Because I was watching my nephew play PlayStation a couple of weeks ago, and it was just so fascinating to me to hear the way he talks to his friends, you know, their slang and their expressions and all that type of stuff.

[00:00:46] Because, I mean, you know, like older people, teenagers, and children, we all have our own way of talking, even if we speak the same language. And the next generation always innovates, right? In many different ways in fashion, music, business, I mean, all kinds of things. But particularly language, right? The next generation invents their own slang and expressions and they have their own way of interacting with each other and stuff like that that we as adults or older people might not totally understand or be familiar with. Right? And a lot of times in general, a lot of adults think about children as if children and babies are the same thing. Because a baby is like this adorable, cute, little, helpless human being. And it's, you know, it's so cute. They don't understand half the stuff that you're saying and they don't understand anything about how life works, how society works, and all these things.

[00:01:44] So there are certain things you can't talk about them or excuse me, there are certain things you can't talk about with them because they just won't comprehend and they won't be able to even express themselves to you. But a kid, you know, eight years old, nine years old, twelve years old, you can talk to these people, you know? And a lot of people look at kids these age as if they're just silly little kids. They don't know anything. They don't understand life. We can't talk about anything interesting. We can't have an intelligent conversation. It's just a kid. But I completely disagree, man. I completely disagree. I mean, in my experience, if you give kids the chance a lot of times they might surprise you. A lot of kids know a lot more than you give them credit for. A lot of kids understand a lot more than you give them credit for, you know? 

[00:02:40] And even if they don't, you can teach them. That's the point. Because at nine years old, in most cases, a kid is out of place mentally, linguistically... Where you can teach them complex things. You can have mature conversations. You can talk to them like adults if you really want to. That's what I prefer to do. I don't like talking to kids as if they're babies. Like, Hey, how you doing? You're so cute. Good to see you. You want to play a game? You want some candy? I hate... I shouldn't say 'hate', that's a strong word. But I just don't understand why people talk to children like that. That shit isn't cute. It's not funny. It doesn't help in any way. The more you treat a child like a baby, the more they feel they should act like a baby. You know what I'm saying? I just never understood that.

[00:03:26] Whereas if you talk to a kid the same way you would talk to an adult, in my experience, the kid will elevate intellectually or they will mature faster. And some people think that's not, that's not a good thing. Some people think that you should let kids be kids. You shouldn't be trying to get them to mature faster. You shouldn't be introducing these complex or adult-like subjects to them because they just need to enjoy their childhood. And that's true. You should let kids be kids and enjoy their childhood. But at the end of the day, our job as adults is to prepare them for adulthood. Eventually, they're going to be adults, right? So at what age do you decide to start treating a kid like an adult? Is it 15? 18, 21? I mean, what's the age? I don't know.

[00:04:20] But anyway, getting back to what I was saying. I was listening to my nephew talk to his friends, and it was just so fascinating, man, how they got their own slang and expressions. And even like, in a group of friends that are eight or nine years old, they just naturally create their own little hierarchy. There's like, a "leader" in the group, and each member in the group has their own personality and stuff like that. It's just interesting. It's interesting. Any group of people, regardless of the age, but particularly kids, when you can see those adult-like traits or you can see some of the same behavior that we display as adults, it's kind of funny. It's interesting.

[00:04:57] And I just think there's so many reasons that you should talk to children. So sticking with the language aspect, just by talking to children, you get more familiar with the new slang, the new expressions like, and you also get to have your finger on the pulse of the next generation. And when I say "you have your finger on the pulse", I'm saying like, you are directly involved in whatever this thing is. So if I have my finger on the pulse of the music industry, it means that I'm deeply involved in it. And I know exactly what's happening. I know what's happening right now and I know what's about to happen. Right? I'm updated or I'm a... What's the word? Damn, I can't think of the expression. But I know what's going on. I'm tapped in. I'm plugged in. I'm connected, you know? I'm not oblivious to what's going on. I'm not an outsider or something like that.

[00:05:52] So I guess the opposite of having your finger on the pulse would be being out of touch. Because to be out of touch with something or someone means like, it's so distant from you, metaphorically, that you don't know anything about it or understand it. If I'm out of touch, it means I don't really know about that. It's like, What? You didn't see the new movie? You didn't hear that new song? You didn't see that performance? Like, Nah, man, I'm kind of out of touch with that type of stuff. Which means I don't really know what goes on in that world. I'm not connected. I have no idea. Right? That's what it means to be out of touch. So the opposite, I guess, is to have your finger on the pulse, which is, you know, I know exactly what's going on. I'm plugged in. I'm aware of what's happening, you know? 

[00:06:33] So when you talk to kids, you have your finger on the pulse of the next generation. You know what they're thinking about. You know what they talk about. You know what's important to them. You see what I'm saying? You need to talk to kids, right? Because they're the future. The next generation is the future. And in my experience, it's much better to understand what's coming next than it is to reject or put down or diminish what's coming next. That's what a lot of people do like I was saying, when they think about kids, they're like, Oh, it's just some silly little kid. He doesn't know shit. It's like, bro, that silly little kid one day we'll be taking care of you. You're going to be old one day. You won't be able to work or take care of yourself. And the next generation is the group of people that's going to support society. That's us right now. In the future is going to be them.

[00:07:24] So I don't see any advantage to not being connected to what's coming next, to not understanding what's coming next. That's in general with technology, with business, with the economy, with education, whatever. But in this case, kids. They're the future, you know? I had to take a sip of my coffee real quick. It's Coffee with Kaizen, by the way. But yeah, man. They're the future. You have to talk to kids. You really do. For so many reasons. I also think you have to talk to kids because a lot of kids, in my experience, especially these days, don't get listened to anymore. I can't say any more like that was the case in the past and it's not now. Because I don't feel like I was listened to as a kid. I feel like most kids in general aren't listened to by adults or talked to by adults.

[00:08:22] But these days a lot of adults will just hand their kids a tablet or smartphone or the TV remote and say, "Go over there. Be quiet. Leave me alone. Don't make any noise for 2 hours". Or a lot of parents don't sit down and talk with their kids on a regular basis. Just talk about life. My parents never did that shit. Never. Not once did we sit down and just talk about life or anything like that. What I was thinking about, what I was going through. Nothing. Nothing. And I just think you need to talk to kids, man. You need to understand how they think and what's important to them. And I think when you talk to a kid and more importantly, you listen to a kid, you're showing them respect and you're showing them that they're important and that you value what they have to say. You're interested in what they have to say.

[00:09:13] And that makes, I think it makes the kid want to talk more. That's how you gain the trust of a kid and they really start to communicate with you so you can really know what's going on in their head and inside their live and... inside their life, excuse me. I just think that's a really important thing to do because a lot of kids have a lot of thoughts and feelings and they're confused about a lot of things as they grow up. A lot of things they don't understand. A lot of things they go through and they don't know why. And a lot of times they don't really have anyone to talk to about it, or they might not think that anyone could ever understand them.

[00:09:49] So by talking to them and listening to them, you might be able to help them in that area, you know? You might be able to teach them many things or explain very simple things to them that they couldn't understand. You can better prepare them for what's coming next because whether we all like it or not, they're not going to be kids forever. So by talking to them consistently, staying in contact with them, it's almost like you're a mentor. You know? In a way, that's what parents are. You are your child's mentor, responsible for helping them grow and develop as humans. And you can't do that if you're not talking to them, if you're not having conversations with them.

[00:10:30] So yeah, man. It's just something to think about. You can learn so much from talking to kids. The same way you can, like a lot of people will show elders respect. Older people, your grandparents, great grandparents... A lot of people will just naturally show them respect like, they've been through a lot. They've lived a full life. They're so wise. They can teach me so much. They've been where I am right now and they've been where I want to be, so I'm going to listen to them. You ever notice that? You show older people so much more respect and admiration, and you give them so much more attention. You listen so much more attentively to an older person who seems wise, but you won't show that same respect to a child because it's just a silly kid. He doesn't know shit. I just don't think that's the right mentality to have.

[00:11:21] Kids can teach you so much. Their perspective is different, you know? Everyone's perspective. And really this... the title of this episode should be "talk to people", right? But I was just thinking about my nephew and how children specifically don't get talked to or listened to as much as adults. So yeah, man, you can learn a lot by talking to kids. You can help kids by talking to them. Because I don't know about you, but I know what it feels like to be a kid and have no one to talk to. Nobody understands. Nobody can explain anything to me. Nobody listens to me or nothing like that. It's not a good feeling, man. It has a negative effect on a kid and the way they develop, you know? 

[00:12:10] So I didn't take any notes or write anything down for this episode. I think if I would have taken more time to prepare, then I could have given you like, a logical order and, you know, clear points that I wanted to touch on as reasons why you should talk to children. But I'm kind of just rambling here. I think I've got my point across, right? Because at the end of the day, there's many reasons to talk to kids. You can have your finger on the pulse of the next generation and understand what's important to them, understand the way they talk, the slang that they use, and you know, what they want for their future. And maybe you can even help them prepare themselves to get what they want in the future. You can't do that without talking to them. And you can't do that without listen... The title of this episode should be "listen to children", not talk to them. And to listen to them.

[00:12:57] Especially today, because like a lot of... It's crazy to me how so many parents will give their child a smartphone at six years old, seven years old, eight, twelve years old. What the fuck does a kid need a smartphone for? What is he going to call? Nobody. He's going to get on these fucking apps, these websites or whatever, social media. He's got the world in his hands. And he has no idea how to process all that information. Now you can put child locks and, you know, security codes on certain websites or apps and shit like that. You can try your hardest to make sure they can't access certain things, but even still. I don't know. It's just... To me, it's a little dangerous.

[00:13:44] So now more than ever, we need to talk to kids about what they're consuming, what they've seen, what they're thinking about. Because if you're not talking to your kids, somebody else certainly is talking to your kids. And that's fine. Like, I think it's kind of weird to me as well that a lot of parents won't let their children talk to strangers. Now, of course, we know that there are many dangers of letting kids talk to strangers, but as long as they're supervised, I don't see the problem. They need to be exposed to other adults, other kids, other ways of thinking, other cultures, other lifestyles, philosophies, all that. They need to be exposed to that as early as possible.

[00:14:19] But as the parent or the big brother or sister, as the aunt or uncle or whatever, I still think it's our responsibility to talk to them as well. About all the stuff that they're consuming, about all the stuff that they're experiencing. Because at the end of the day, life is life. Being a kid is being a kid. Being an adult is being an adult. I don't think that's ever going to change. However, times have changed. Being a kid today isn't necessarily the same thing as being a kid 20 years ago or 40 years ago, or 60 years ago. Things have changed. And we have to talk about those changes, I think. We have to have our finger on the pulse of society, of the next generation because that's the future. You know? So that's one reason. But also, I think kids can teach you so much, you know? Because their perspective is so different.

[00:15:15] And just because they're young doesn't mean that they can't teach you something or see the same situation in a better way or a more productive way or more advantageous way. You just never know. So that's another reason. And because I think kids are getting talked to by the ones closest to them a lot less and they're being listened to a lot less. And I could be wrong. Just the impression I have. But, I know what it feels like, and I'm sure... I don't know. But I imagine you know what it feels like. To not be listened to or valued or respected or... Or any of that. I'm sure you know what it feels like. Like, Man, I wish I had somebody to talk to. Somebody that would listen, somebody that would understand. Kids feel like that every day. Adults feel like that, shit. Adults feel like that. But our time has gone. We're not kids anymore, right? But we can make sure that the next generation doesn't have to feel that way or go through that. Just by talking and listening to them, you know? 

[00:16:26] So anyway, I'm sure I've got my point across and give you a couple things to think about, a couple of reasons you should talk to kids a lot more. The reasons you should listen to kids a lot more. I'm not going to keep rambling or keep you here any longer, my friend. I just wanted to share that idea with you and encourage you. Talk to kids more. Show them the same respect that you would show an adult. Show them the same, let's say, patience and courtesy that you would show an elder that you respect. Just watch the difference. Watch what happens. Start talking to kids the same way you talk to any other adult. Start having those kinds of conversations and watch what happens. And let me know what happens. I'm very curious.

[00:17:13] But, I guess that's a good place to cut it, man. This is Coffee with Kaizen number 34. My name is Tony Kaizen, and I'm reminding you to talk to kids and more importantly, listen to your kids. All right? But that's it for now, my friend. Hopefully, you enjoyed this episode and it gave you some things to think about. And more podcast episodes coming soon, my friend. Thank you so much for being a member of the Life in English community, man. You have no idea how much I appreciate you and your support and you being a part of this community. So, yeah. That's it for now, man. Coffee with Kaizen number 34 in the books and I will talk to you later. Peace!

[END OF EPISODE]

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