A Memorable Lesson

November 19, 2022

There are some lessons in life that we insist on learning the hard way, and the one I'm about to share with you could save you from a lot of heartbreak.

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[00:00:00] What's up, my friend? This is Kaizen after Dark. I am your host, Tony Kaizen, and I'm recording this after dark. And, uh, I guess you should know I'm recording this in my car cos I'm about to head home. And, um, I don't know, I just had this on my mind. I was thinking about it recently and figured it would be a good time to, uh, to say what's up to you, leave you with something to think about cos we were on Discord yesterday, I believe, last night. And one of the topics that came up...actually, that's not a correct way of saying it. There's a little bot on Discord that allows you to generate random conversation topics. So I activated the little robot and it suggested the topic. Um...What's a memorable lesson that you had to learn the hard way?

[00:00:54] And I just thought this was a really good question. I'm sure most of us have...poof...a bunch of lessons that we had to learn the hard way. I don't know what it is about human beings. We just refuse to accept reality sometimes, or we refuse to accept, um, yeah...just reality. I can't even think of a better word for it. And forgive me if you hear, like, cars driving by and shit or, um, anything of that nature cos I'm just chilling here in a parking lot. As strange as that might sound to you, I don't think it's weird. You know? It's my car. If I want to fucking record a podcast on my ride, I'll record a podcast in my ride, goddammit.

[00:01:39] Anyway...Anyway, that has nothing to do with the topic of discussion, my friend. I apologize. Anyway, what is something memorable...a memorable lesson that I had to learn the hard way? As I was saying, I'm sure most of us have a bunch of those just because sometimes we're just dumb, bro, like, we just refuse to learn what the universe is telling us we need to learn. And the first thing that came to mind was -- or the first lesson that came to mind, I should say -- was, um, never invest more than you're willing to lose.

[00:02:17] And this could be with money or time or energy. Anything. Anything that you can give to another person or put into a project or relationship or a business or, you know, financial investments, like, anything, it can be anything. Never invest more than you are willing to lose. Never give more than you'll be comfortable giving knowing that you won't receive anything in return.

[00:02:48] First of all, true giving does not involve expecting something in return, that's not giving, but that's beside the point. What I'm saying is a lot of times, especially when you've got good intentions, you know, I guess a universal example might be in a relationship. You might have good intentions with this person. You might want to give them your all, invest 150% of your love and your energy and your time and yourself into the relationship and into this person just cos you love them so much and you want to treat them right and you just want to make them happy or...or you want them to be happy with you. You can't make people happy, but you want them to be happy with you and you want to be happy with them. Right?

[00:03:27] And, you know, sometimes even if things start out well, even if both of you have good intentions in the beginning, sometimes shit just goes south, man. It happens all the time in relationships. It doesn't matter if y'all are dating, if you're already married, if you've got kids. I mean, shit happens, bro. And there are so many reasons for that. But the point is, you don't want to get to a point where you've invested so much of yourself, your time, your energy, your money, whatever it may be, into a person or a romantic, like, or committed relationship. And then the relationship ends. And all of that shit you put into it now is meaningless. It's worthless. You can't get it back.

[00:04:08] And I shouldn't say that, you know, just because you broke up with this person, just because you got a divorce, everything is wasted. That's not my point. What I'm trying to say is it's very possible -- we have to accept -- it's very possible, any and every relationship, could end at any time for any reason. Right? So to me, it only makes sense to, yes, give your all give as much as you possibly can in all of your relationships. I believe you should love generously; however, do it with the understanding that there could come a time when this person I'm investing so much into or this relationship or whatever that I'm investing so much into could go to shit. That's a possibility. So it's probably smart if I don't put in more than I'm willing to lose knowing that I could lose this relationship. You see what I'm saying?

[00:04:59] I don't know if that makes sense to you. In my head, it makes sense because it's like...how can I say this? It's almost like a form of self-protection or self-preservation. You know what I mean? Especially with relationships, bruh, like you know...it's a...like a balance you got to find in between giving everything you possibly can to somebody and also looking out for yourself. And really that's one and the same thing. That's what I mean by don't give more than what you're willing to lose because giving everything you possibly can doesn't mean giving everything. There's a difference, right?

[00:05:40] Giving everything you can give - it's not the same as giving everything you have. You see what I'm saying? Like if...let's say, another example that I feel might be universal is let's say you're walking down the street in a busy city and there's a homeless person that ask you for some money, "Hey, man, you got any spare change? You got a couple of dollars? I'm just trying to get something to eat," or whatever. I got $1,000 in my pocket. I could give him $3, $5, $10, $20. I could buy him dinner, I could probably buy him a sweatshirt and all these things. I'm not going to give him the whole thousand dollars unless I'm totally fine losing $1,000. You see what I'm saying? I can give him what I can. And maybe this isn't even the best example. This example is kind of dumb, but hopefully you get my point.

[00:06:28] It's just because I got a thousand doesn't mean I can give him a thousand cos maybe I need 500 to pay my bills this month. Maybe I need 200 to pay for groceries, maybe I need 50 for gas. So how can I give him a thousand? Then I'm...Imma be fucking homeless if I'm just giving everything I got away. You feel me? So nothing wrong with giving. There's nothing wrong with being generous, you should be. If you hope to receive anything in life, you must learn to give first, in my opinion. But you sh...I mean. I can't say you should not. A lesson I learned the hard way is that I should not give more than I'm willing to lose or give more than I'd be comfortable giving, knowing that it will never be reciprocated. You know?

[00:07:08] And it's the same thing with money or anything else. Like if you're going to buy an NFT, if you're going to fucking buy a rental property, if you're going to invest in the stock market, whatever, it's cool to take risks, man. I think the biggest and greatest winners in life are the ones who are not afraid to take risks. I truly believe that. However, however, it doesn't mean be stupid, right? There's a difference between taking a risk and being dumb. And when you're taking risks, in this case financial risks, by investing your money into something and hoping to get a return at some point, you've got to go in with the mindset that I could lose every single dollar that I'm about to invest and I need to be okay with that.

[00:07:48] So whatever your threshold is, whatever your tolerance for that financial risk is, that's where you stop, you know? And that way, if you do get a return, if you do win, excellent! But if you lost it...or excuse me...if you lose it, then at least, you know, like, "Well, I knew that going in, I could have lost this shit so there's no reason for me to get emotional about it. I knew what it was from the beginning." That's what I mean when I say don't invest more than you're willing to lose, bruh, because any and everything can go to shit at any time.

[00:08:16] And I don't mean to be pessimistic when I say that. It's just real. That's real shit. I just try to be realistic, you know what I mean? So I'm telling you this because it's what I would say to myself if I could talk to my 16, 18, 21-year-old self, like, man, it's okay to take risks. It's okay to invest. It's okay to love hard. It's okay to give as much as you possibly can in your career, your relationships, your investments, your business, but just always be conscious of how much you're giving and...and what your limits actually are.

[00:08:50] What are you okay with losing? What are you not okay with losing? You've got to learn to draw the line at some point. You know what I mean? And, um, yeah, I just think that's a super important lesson, and I wanted to leave that on your brain this evening. So um, if you're listening to this, you are a podcast supporter, which means you got access to the Discord server. So hit me up, man. Let's start a conversation about this.

[00:09:15] Maybe you can let me know a hard lesson that you had to learn, um, but that you'll always remember now that you've learned it. You know what I mean? Uh, and let me know what you think about my thoughts. Hopefully it was clear to you. I'm kind of just freestyling here; I didn't write anything down. But yeah, that's all I got for you right now, my friend. This is Kaizen after Dark, I am your host, Tony Kaizen, recording after dark and I'll talk to you soon. Peace!

[END OF EPISODE]

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[00:00:00] What's up, my friend? This is Kaizen after Dark. I am your host, Tony Kaizen, and I'm recording this after dark. And, uh, I guess you should know I'm recording this in my car cos I'm about to head home. And, um, I don't know, I just had this on my mind. I was thinking about it recently and figured it would be a good time to, uh, to say what's up to you, leave you with something to think about cos we were on Discord yesterday, I believe, last night. And one of the topics that came up...actually, that's not a correct way of saying it. There's a little bot on Discord that allows you to generate random conversation topics. So I activated the little robot and it suggested the topic. Um...What's a memorable lesson that you had to learn the hard way?

[00:00:54] And I just thought this was a really good question. I'm sure most of us have...poof...a bunch of lessons that we had to learn the hard way. I don't know what it is about human beings. We just refuse to accept reality sometimes, or we refuse to accept, um, yeah...just reality. I can't even think of a better word for it. And forgive me if you hear, like, cars driving by and shit or, um, anything of that nature cos I'm just chilling here in a parking lot. As strange as that might sound to you, I don't think it's weird. You know? It's my car. If I want to fucking record a podcast on my ride, I'll record a podcast in my ride, goddammit.

[00:01:39] Anyway...Anyway, that has nothing to do with the topic of discussion, my friend. I apologize. Anyway, what is something memorable...a memorable lesson that I had to learn the hard way? As I was saying, I'm sure most of us have a bunch of those just because sometimes we're just dumb, bro, like, we just refuse to learn what the universe is telling us we need to learn. And the first thing that came to mind was -- or the first lesson that came to mind, I should say -- was, um, never invest more than you're willing to lose.

[00:02:17] And this could be with money or time or energy. Anything. Anything that you can give to another person or put into a project or relationship or a business or, you know, financial investments, like, anything, it can be anything. Never invest more than you are willing to lose. Never give more than you'll be comfortable giving knowing that you won't receive anything in return.

[00:02:48] First of all, true giving does not involve expecting something in return, that's not giving, but that's beside the point. What I'm saying is a lot of times, especially when you've got good intentions, you know, I guess a universal example might be in a relationship. You might have good intentions with this person. You might want to give them your all, invest 150% of your love and your energy and your time and yourself into the relationship and into this person just cos you love them so much and you want to treat them right and you just want to make them happy or...or you want them to be happy with you. You can't make people happy, but you want them to be happy with you and you want to be happy with them. Right?

[00:03:27] And, you know, sometimes even if things start out well, even if both of you have good intentions in the beginning, sometimes shit just goes south, man. It happens all the time in relationships. It doesn't matter if y'all are dating, if you're already married, if you've got kids. I mean, shit happens, bro. And there are so many reasons for that. But the point is, you don't want to get to a point where you've invested so much of yourself, your time, your energy, your money, whatever it may be, into a person or a romantic, like, or committed relationship. And then the relationship ends. And all of that shit you put into it now is meaningless. It's worthless. You can't get it back.

[00:04:08] And I shouldn't say that, you know, just because you broke up with this person, just because you got a divorce, everything is wasted. That's not my point. What I'm trying to say is it's very possible -- we have to accept -- it's very possible, any and every relationship, could end at any time for any reason. Right? So to me, it only makes sense to, yes, give your all give as much as you possibly can in all of your relationships. I believe you should love generously; however, do it with the understanding that there could come a time when this person I'm investing so much into or this relationship or whatever that I'm investing so much into could go to shit. That's a possibility. So it's probably smart if I don't put in more than I'm willing to lose knowing that I could lose this relationship. You see what I'm saying?

[00:04:59] I don't know if that makes sense to you. In my head, it makes sense because it's like...how can I say this? It's almost like a form of self-protection or self-preservation. You know what I mean? Especially with relationships, bruh, like you know...it's a...like a balance you got to find in between giving everything you possibly can to somebody and also looking out for yourself. And really that's one and the same thing. That's what I mean by don't give more than what you're willing to lose because giving everything you possibly can doesn't mean giving everything. There's a difference, right?

[00:05:40] Giving everything you can give - it's not the same as giving everything you have. You see what I'm saying? Like if...let's say, another example that I feel might be universal is let's say you're walking down the street in a busy city and there's a homeless person that ask you for some money, "Hey, man, you got any spare change? You got a couple of dollars? I'm just trying to get something to eat," or whatever. I got $1,000 in my pocket. I could give him $3, $5, $10, $20. I could buy him dinner, I could probably buy him a sweatshirt and all these things. I'm not going to give him the whole thousand dollars unless I'm totally fine losing $1,000. You see what I'm saying? I can give him what I can. And maybe this isn't even the best example. This example is kind of dumb, but hopefully you get my point.

[00:06:28] It's just because I got a thousand doesn't mean I can give him a thousand cos maybe I need 500 to pay my bills this month. Maybe I need 200 to pay for groceries, maybe I need 50 for gas. So how can I give him a thousand? Then I'm...Imma be fucking homeless if I'm just giving everything I got away. You feel me? So nothing wrong with giving. There's nothing wrong with being generous, you should be. If you hope to receive anything in life, you must learn to give first, in my opinion. But you sh...I mean. I can't say you should not. A lesson I learned the hard way is that I should not give more than I'm willing to lose or give more than I'd be comfortable giving, knowing that it will never be reciprocated. You know?

[00:07:08] And it's the same thing with money or anything else. Like if you're going to buy an NFT, if you're going to fucking buy a rental property, if you're going to invest in the stock market, whatever, it's cool to take risks, man. I think the biggest and greatest winners in life are the ones who are not afraid to take risks. I truly believe that. However, however, it doesn't mean be stupid, right? There's a difference between taking a risk and being dumb. And when you're taking risks, in this case financial risks, by investing your money into something and hoping to get a return at some point, you've got to go in with the mindset that I could lose every single dollar that I'm about to invest and I need to be okay with that.

[00:07:48] So whatever your threshold is, whatever your tolerance for that financial risk is, that's where you stop, you know? And that way, if you do get a return, if you do win, excellent! But if you lost it...or excuse me...if you lose it, then at least, you know, like, "Well, I knew that going in, I could have lost this shit so there's no reason for me to get emotional about it. I knew what it was from the beginning." That's what I mean when I say don't invest more than you're willing to lose, bruh, because any and everything can go to shit at any time.

[00:08:16] And I don't mean to be pessimistic when I say that. It's just real. That's real shit. I just try to be realistic, you know what I mean? So I'm telling you this because it's what I would say to myself if I could talk to my 16, 18, 21-year-old self, like, man, it's okay to take risks. It's okay to invest. It's okay to love hard. It's okay to give as much as you possibly can in your career, your relationships, your investments, your business, but just always be conscious of how much you're giving and...and what your limits actually are.

[00:08:50] What are you okay with losing? What are you not okay with losing? You've got to learn to draw the line at some point. You know what I mean? And, um, yeah, I just think that's a super important lesson, and I wanted to leave that on your brain this evening. So um, if you're listening to this, you are a podcast supporter, which means you got access to the Discord server. So hit me up, man. Let's start a conversation about this.

[00:09:15] Maybe you can let me know a hard lesson that you had to learn, um, but that you'll always remember now that you've learned it. You know what I mean? Uh, and let me know what you think about my thoughts. Hopefully it was clear to you. I'm kind of just freestyling here; I didn't write anything down. But yeah, that's all I got for you right now, my friend. This is Kaizen after Dark, I am your host, Tony Kaizen, recording after dark and I'll talk to you soon. Peace!

[END OF EPISODE]

Writing prompts

  • What's a memorable lesson you learned the hard way?
  • What's a lesson that everyone has to learn at some point in life?
  • Write about a failed investment you've made (this could a financial, emotional, or time-based investment.)
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Key Vocabulary Guide

Transcript

[00:00:00] What's up, my friend? This is Kaizen after Dark. I am your host, Tony Kaizen, and I'm recording this after dark. And, uh, I guess you should know I'm recording this in my car cos I'm about to head home. And, um, I don't know, I just had this on my mind. I was thinking about it recently and figured it would be a good time to, uh, to say what's up to you, leave you with something to think about cos we were on Discord yesterday, I believe, last night. And one of the topics that came up...actually, that's not a correct way of saying it. There's a little bot on Discord that allows you to generate random conversation topics. So I activated the little robot and it suggested the topic. Um...What's a memorable lesson that you had to learn the hard way?

[00:00:54] And I just thought this was a really good question. I'm sure most of us have...poof...a bunch of lessons that we had to learn the hard way. I don't know what it is about human beings. We just refuse to accept reality sometimes, or we refuse to accept, um, yeah...just reality. I can't even think of a better word for it. And forgive me if you hear, like, cars driving by and shit or, um, anything of that nature cos I'm just chilling here in a parking lot. As strange as that might sound to you, I don't think it's weird. You know? It's my car. If I want to fucking record a podcast on my ride, I'll record a podcast in my ride, goddammit.

[00:01:39] Anyway...Anyway, that has nothing to do with the topic of discussion, my friend. I apologize. Anyway, what is something memorable...a memorable lesson that I had to learn the hard way? As I was saying, I'm sure most of us have a bunch of those just because sometimes we're just dumb, bro, like, we just refuse to learn what the universe is telling us we need to learn. And the first thing that came to mind was -- or the first lesson that came to mind, I should say -- was, um, never invest more than you're willing to lose.

[00:02:17] And this could be with money or time or energy. Anything. Anything that you can give to another person or put into a project or relationship or a business or, you know, financial investments, like, anything, it can be anything. Never invest more than you are willing to lose. Never give more than you'll be comfortable giving knowing that you won't receive anything in return.

[00:02:48] First of all, true giving does not involve expecting something in return, that's not giving, but that's beside the point. What I'm saying is a lot of times, especially when you've got good intentions, you know, I guess a universal example might be in a relationship. You might have good intentions with this person. You might want to give them your all, invest 150% of your love and your energy and your time and yourself into the relationship and into this person just cos you love them so much and you want to treat them right and you just want to make them happy or...or you want them to be happy with you. You can't make people happy, but you want them to be happy with you and you want to be happy with them. Right?

[00:03:27] And, you know, sometimes even if things start out well, even if both of you have good intentions in the beginning, sometimes shit just goes south, man. It happens all the time in relationships. It doesn't matter if y'all are dating, if you're already married, if you've got kids. I mean, shit happens, bro. And there are so many reasons for that. But the point is, you don't want to get to a point where you've invested so much of yourself, your time, your energy, your money, whatever it may be, into a person or a romantic, like, or committed relationship. And then the relationship ends. And all of that shit you put into it now is meaningless. It's worthless. You can't get it back.

[00:04:08] And I shouldn't say that, you know, just because you broke up with this person, just because you got a divorce, everything is wasted. That's not my point. What I'm trying to say is it's very possible -- we have to accept -- it's very possible, any and every relationship, could end at any time for any reason. Right? So to me, it only makes sense to, yes, give your all give as much as you possibly can in all of your relationships. I believe you should love generously; however, do it with the understanding that there could come a time when this person I'm investing so much into or this relationship or whatever that I'm investing so much into could go to shit. That's a possibility. So it's probably smart if I don't put in more than I'm willing to lose knowing that I could lose this relationship. You see what I'm saying?

[00:04:59] I don't know if that makes sense to you. In my head, it makes sense because it's like...how can I say this? It's almost like a form of self-protection or self-preservation. You know what I mean? Especially with relationships, bruh, like you know...it's a...like a balance you got to find in between giving everything you possibly can to somebody and also looking out for yourself. And really that's one and the same thing. That's what I mean by don't give more than what you're willing to lose because giving everything you possibly can doesn't mean giving everything. There's a difference, right?

[00:05:40] Giving everything you can give - it's not the same as giving everything you have. You see what I'm saying? Like if...let's say, another example that I feel might be universal is let's say you're walking down the street in a busy city and there's a homeless person that ask you for some money, "Hey, man, you got any spare change? You got a couple of dollars? I'm just trying to get something to eat," or whatever. I got $1,000 in my pocket. I could give him $3, $5, $10, $20. I could buy him dinner, I could probably buy him a sweatshirt and all these things. I'm not going to give him the whole thousand dollars unless I'm totally fine losing $1,000. You see what I'm saying? I can give him what I can. And maybe this isn't even the best example. This example is kind of dumb, but hopefully you get my point.

[00:06:28] It's just because I got a thousand doesn't mean I can give him a thousand cos maybe I need 500 to pay my bills this month. Maybe I need 200 to pay for groceries, maybe I need 50 for gas. So how can I give him a thousand? Then I'm...Imma be fucking homeless if I'm just giving everything I got away. You feel me? So nothing wrong with giving. There's nothing wrong with being generous, you should be. If you hope to receive anything in life, you must learn to give first, in my opinion. But you sh...I mean. I can't say you should not. A lesson I learned the hard way is that I should not give more than I'm willing to lose or give more than I'd be comfortable giving, knowing that it will never be reciprocated. You know?

[00:07:08] And it's the same thing with money or anything else. Like if you're going to buy an NFT, if you're going to fucking buy a rental property, if you're going to invest in the stock market, whatever, it's cool to take risks, man. I think the biggest and greatest winners in life are the ones who are not afraid to take risks. I truly believe that. However, however, it doesn't mean be stupid, right? There's a difference between taking a risk and being dumb. And when you're taking risks, in this case financial risks, by investing your money into something and hoping to get a return at some point, you've got to go in with the mindset that I could lose every single dollar that I'm about to invest and I need to be okay with that.

[00:07:48] So whatever your threshold is, whatever your tolerance for that financial risk is, that's where you stop, you know? And that way, if you do get a return, if you do win, excellent! But if you lost it...or excuse me...if you lose it, then at least, you know, like, "Well, I knew that going in, I could have lost this shit so there's no reason for me to get emotional about it. I knew what it was from the beginning." That's what I mean when I say don't invest more than you're willing to lose, bruh, because any and everything can go to shit at any time.

[00:08:16] And I don't mean to be pessimistic when I say that. It's just real. That's real shit. I just try to be realistic, you know what I mean? So I'm telling you this because it's what I would say to myself if I could talk to my 16, 18, 21-year-old self, like, man, it's okay to take risks. It's okay to invest. It's okay to love hard. It's okay to give as much as you possibly can in your career, your relationships, your investments, your business, but just always be conscious of how much you're giving and...and what your limits actually are.

[00:08:50] What are you okay with losing? What are you not okay with losing? You've got to learn to draw the line at some point. You know what I mean? And, um, yeah, I just think that's a super important lesson, and I wanted to leave that on your brain this evening. So um, if you're listening to this, you are a podcast supporter, which means you got access to the Discord server. So hit me up, man. Let's start a conversation about this.

[00:09:15] Maybe you can let me know a hard lesson that you had to learn, um, but that you'll always remember now that you've learned it. You know what I mean? Uh, and let me know what you think about my thoughts. Hopefully it was clear to you. I'm kind of just freestyling here; I didn't write anything down. But yeah, that's all I got for you right now, my friend. This is Kaizen after Dark, I am your host, Tony Kaizen, recording after dark and I'll talk to you soon. Peace!

[END OF EPISODE]

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